Cohen - Advanced Love

Editor: Holly Dolce

Designer: Gabriele Wilson

Production Manager: Denise LaCongo

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018945578

ISBN: 978-1-4197-3339-0

eISBN: 978-1-68335-412-3

Text and photographs copyright 2018 Ari Seth Cohen

Lettering by Adele Mildred

Published in 2018 by Abrams, an imprint of ABRAMS.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

Abrams books are available at special discounts when purchased in quantity for premiums and promotions as well as fundraising or educational use. Special editions can also be created to specification. For details, contact specialsales@abramsbooks.com or the address below.

Abrams is a registered trademark of Harry N. Abrams, Inc.

ABRAMS The Art of Books
195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007
abramsbooks.com

This book is dedicated to my parents,
Frances and Jack Cohen,
and grandparents, Hal and Helen Cohen,
and Bluma and Jacob Levine.

For the last ten years, I have had the great privilege of documenting the style and stories of some of the worlds most interesting and inspiring seniors. My journey began long before the creation of my street-style blog in 2008, spurred by a lifetime of inspiration from my wonderful grandmother Bluma. Not only did she spark in me a deep affinity for older people, but her unconditional love and acceptance provided a space for me to flourish in my personal expression, creative explorations, style, and play. After she passed away, I created Advanced Style as a way to fill the void she had left and to encourage others to view aging a bit differently.

Two photo books and a full-length documentary later, I was beginning to wonder where this project would lead next. One day, my dear friend Joanna Lily Wong called to tell me that she had just met the most magical older couple in San Francisco. She insisted that I come up to meet and photograph them. From the moment I met Mort and Ginny Linder, artists and soul mates, I was struck by their deep connection. Dressed in one of Ginnys dazzling handmade capes, Mort proudly showed me the dozens of places they had carved their heart-shaped initials in local tree trunks nearby and remarked that he missed Ginny when she went to the post office or off to her knitting group. Ginny lovingly recounted the story of how they first met and how she couldnt imagine life without him. I longed to know the secret to their lifelong relationship and creative partnership and wondered how I would be able to document more than fifty years of artful, grand, rarefied love.

As I spent more time with my new muses, I began to sense a shift in how I approached my creative work. My eye was being increasingly drawn to the shared style and creative connection of couples rather than individuals. With each new pair I met, I searched for the key to maintaining a relationship like Mort and Ginnys, but the more I looked the more I came to realize that every relationship is entirely uniquethese connections are ever changing and evolving, breaking apart and then bonding again even stronger over the course of time. Some relationships succeed by prioritizing independence and allowing one another the necessary space to exist as individuals, while others thrive in an almost complete intertwining of each others lives. Some have found true love later in life, nourished by the wisdom that comes from previous attempts at love and finally knowing who they are and what they want and need. I learned that there is no one secret to long-lasting love other than a constant commitment to practicing patience, kindness, respect, empathy, humor, forgiveness, and a dialogue of openness and communication. It comes easier to some than others, though never perfectly and rarely without a few bumps in the road.

Through this experience Ive discovered that love is the most powerful of human bonds, not easily broken or forgotten. We continue to love those who have passed long after they are gone, and memories of first loves remain well into old age. To love, and to age, is a privilege, and the ability to love and find love is bound by the constraints of neither age nor time.

In an era where love has become increasingly disposable and long-lasting love is all the more rare, I hope that the extraordinary couples in the pages ahead will serve as inspiration for us all to LOVE a little more.

ARI SETH COHEN

NEW YORK, NY

I always hear the Ink Spots when I think of him. I can see him closing his eyes and taking delight in every word. The party was wherever he was. (I miss him.)

EMILY

ALICE

NEW YORK, NY

A few nights ago, as my husband, Geoffrey, and I were sitting on the couch having a glass of wine and going over our day, he mentioned something about it being our forty-fifth anniversary. Not our wedding anniversary, mind, but the date of our first sexual liaison in 1973. Forty-five years ago? It floored me.

I remember it was March. I remember the night was cold. I remember I cooked dinner for us in my studio apartment in Greenwich Village where the only furniture I possessed was a bed, a table, four rescued-from-the-street chairs, a bookcase, a hi-fi, and a cat. I even remember the menu: sauted filet of sole with mushrooms and lots of cheap white wine, followed by a lustful carnal embrace where we laughed a lot.

The seventies marked the dawn of feminism for this Irish-American girl, especially when it came to marriage. Having to buy a thirty-five-dollar license seemed a barbaric throwback to times when a wife was considered her husbands chattel. So Geoffrey and I lived blissfully in sin until twenty years later, when I succumbed to marriage for a practical reason: I almost died. I even proposed to him.