Murphey - Devotions for Couples

Copyright 2011 Cecil Murphey.

The original version of this title was published in 1982.

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 06188, USA. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

eISBN: 978-1-937776-16-9

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The Spirit of Christmas (by Cecil Murphey and Marley Gibson)

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When a Man You Love Was Abused

When God Turned Off the Lights

I wrote this book 30 years ago, and as I've read the pages again, I could change some sentences, but I wouldn't change a single statement or fact about love and marriage.

Even though my wife Shirley and I have had more than half a century together, there is one sentence I pray every morning. "Thank you, God, that Shirley and I have at least one more day together."

Those aren't empty words; I'm genuinely grateful for the days and the years we've already had. Shirley has had several serious illnesses. And she has a family history of cancer. A decade ago she had breast cancer and I thought I might lose her. She fully recovered, and the day after her surgery, is the day I began that simple prayer.

I know that one day we won't be together. But as long as both of us are alive, I want every day to be special. Not only do I thank God for Shirley each day, but our morning isn't complete without a long, passionate hug.

Over the years we've learned each other's ways so well that many times we know what the other wants or senses without a word between us.

I sometimes say that good marriages aren't built on a one-time falling in love, but in several cycles of love. Sexual attraction and sharing common goals are obvious first attractions. Later, many of us fall in love again because of the tenderness or faithfulness of our spouse. The older I become the more I value Shirley's companionship. She knows my flaws, accepts them, and still loves me.

Good marriages are built on deep passion that wanes, renews itself, and each time takes on a deeper meaning.

We don't love each other the same way we did when I was 22 years old, but this phase of our love relationship is certainly deeper. More than ever I realize how much of my life revolves around her and hers around mine.

And each day I'm thankful that God brought us together.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud. (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Week 1, Day 1

When Shirley and I were dating, her mother made a statement that went something like this: Some married people are kinder to their friends than they are to each other. Over the years Ive thought about those words often and determined it wouldnt apply to us.

Sometimes because we love each other, we tend to take the other for granted. We become more considerate of new relationships because we want to establish them. We already have a loving relationship with our lover and therefore do not show concern.

Ive noticed that when many couples are in the dating stage, theyre courteous and helpful. Ive seen the dashing young fellow carefully open doors for the light of his life. Ive often seen those same couples a year after their marriage. He gets out of the car and lets her get out by herself.

One of the things Shirley and I decided when we were dating was that I would continue opening doors for her all through our married life. I also said, If I forget, I expect you to remind me. Im still opening doors for Shirley because its my way of saying I care about her and want to do little things for her.

True lovers constantly find ways to show they appreciate each other and to affirm the relationship they have.

True lovers enjoy each other. They do things together, whether its working, participating in sports, or attending plays and concerts. They share common interests.

True lovers respect each other. They may disagree, but they allow for differences of opinion. When we really love another person, we dont pressure him or her to act contrary to his or her values.

We had a woman in our church who was very talented musically. She once said that people had appreciated her talent for years, but very few had appreciated her as a person. She needed affirmation as a human being and not just recognition of her abilities.

Lovers care by being sensitive to each others hopes, fears, aspirations, dreams, and plans. The Apostle John writes, Beloved, let us love one another. Beloved could be read as dear friends, as it is in some translations. Hes saying, As friends, lets love one another. Lovers respect, love, and cherish each other, not only for today but throughout their lives.

Lord God, teach us the full dimensions of love as we discover more about each other and discover more about you. Amen.

... For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." (Hebrews 13:5)

Week 1, Day 2

I was involved in an automobile accident four years ago. A man in another car ran through a red light and hit me. My car was severely damaged, and I did not have another vehicle. Several friends told me how sorry they were about my situation. Many of them added something like If theres anything we can do. One friend, Bob, never made such a statement. He heard about the accident, called, and said, For a few days we can get by with one car. Wed like to lend you our second car. Bobs love was available to me.

Often we want to spend time with our friends, but only at our convenience. There are times when we wish to be alone and resent the intrusion of other people and their problems. We like to choose our availability.

Yet true love is available at all times. That doesnt mean I always feel loving, or that I always feel good about being disturbed. But if I really love you I am available to you.

True lovers make themselves available to each other. Available to listen, to talk, to touch, to hold. Available lovers echo the words from Hebrews, I will never forsake you.

We understand that promise because Jesus Christ gives us the perfect model. God says he will never leave us, and that he will never fail us in any way. True lovers work at imitating that ideal.

Faithful Lord, as we appreciate your availability, may we learn always to be available to each other. Amen.

"The Lord did not set his heart on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! Rather, it was simply that the Lord loves you, and he was keeping the oath he had sworn to your ancestors. (Deuteronomy 7:78a)

Week 1, Day 3

Shirley and I had dated nearly three months, and our relationship progressed nicely. We did things together. We talked. We prayed.

When did I start loving her? I have no idea. The consciousness of it came to me as I sat across a table from her during a Bible-study group. I had to leave early and didnt get to say good-bye. Just before I left, our eyes met, and we held that look. I knew then that I loved her. Somehow I knew from the expression in her eyes that she loved me, too.