DeFelice Jim - American spirit: profiles in resilience, courage, and faith

Dedicated to our children,

and to all people who use their lives, liberty, and freedom to love their neighbors and lift others up.

You make this country a place we love living in.

The pioneer spirit built America. The first European settlers forged new trails in the hills, swamps, and forests of the East, then onward into the mountains, across the plains, through the desert and high passes, to the West Coast. They plowed virgin earth, hardscrabble as well as fertile, raised crops, and learned to live with sometimes helpful, sometimes hostile neighbors. They did not always do it with grace, and there is much we regret in retrospectthe treatment of natives and people from Africa, most especiallyyet the communities and nation they created were, in the end, one of historys great achievements.

The pioneers sacrificed and endured incredible hardship, not so much for themselves but for the next generationsfor others far more than for themselves.

It is tempting today to say that spiritthe American Spirit, if you willhas passed on. Many people complain about the present state of our country. They cite social conflict, economic hardship, and stagnant opportunity as examples of how far we have fallen. Political discord, religious intolerance, prejudice, hypocrisythe list of failures, barriers, and even evils seems endless.

There is much to that. Sometimes I, too, feel our country and the world at large are a nest of chaos and that the laws of physics dictate it can only get worse. Entropy and indeed disaster are inevitable.

And yet...

On a day when I am at my absolute lowest, a random person in a checkout line smiles at me and offers to let me go ahead of them in a long line. I hear a story about a friends child who gave a years worth of her allowance to a homeless shelter. A friend returns from a mission trip to Africa, brimming with stories about digging a well that brought fresh running water to a village whose inhabitants once walked five miles to a polluted stream each morning.

Maybe I am just a die-hard optimistguilty, surelybut I didnt start that way. I came to this outlook out of necessity to combat the pain of the world. These stories fill me with hope and inspiration. So, too, do tales of heroism, not just on the battlefield, where its expected, but in big cities and small towns: neighbors rushing past flames to retrieve sleeping babies, ten-year-olds standing up to bullies picking on newcomers in class. Random acts of everyday kindness: a young man shoveling an elderly neighbors driveway after a snowstorm, a retired gentleman cutting the lawn for the pregnant wife of a deployed servicemanall of these things fill me with hope.

I see them as signs of community. Minor sacrifices, maybe, yet affirmations that the same core values and the same selfless impulses that helped build this country are not gone or even dormant.

We are bombarded with negative stories because, frankly, they sell. Maybe its part of a survival mechanism to see the worst, so we can prepare for it and learn to avoid it in our own lives.

Thats not me. I hate other peoples pain. I find my day inevitably brightened when I hear about such things on a grand scalethe husband and wife who, after losing a daughter, began a foundation to help children with the same disease. I feel a tingle, and even a sense of satisfaction, when I read a story about someone famous and busy who, for altruistic reasons, gave her time to visit with wounded soldiers or went out of her way to make sure an elderly stranger had a warm meal that day.

Am I wrong to think that these things are a sign of hope for the future? Should I suppress the sense of joy that comes when I see a ripple effect of everyday kindness: the town that got involved after a single child raised money for a food pantry, the national organization that was inspired by a local businessmans pledge to help his neighborhood?

I dont think so.

I have had the privilege of traveling across America and meeting many people in the years since my husband, Chris, was cruelly murdered by a man he was trying to help. So many people have offered me comfortand, more than that, they have told me stories about the good things their neighbors are doing, accounts of how they were helped or inspired by others. Each has a different perspective: Some point to Gods hand in our daily lives; others talk about innate human kindness. Some talk of miracles. Others see a complicated logic of cause and effect.

All, I think, are testimony of the best America has to offer: her American Spirit. Its still alive. We may not see it on television or read about it on the internet. But thats our individual shortcoming, not the failure of God, or Nature, or mankind. Chaos surely is presentbut if the same fearful laws of physics tell us that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, surely there are opposing forces fighting to establish a better balance and a better future.

I acknowledge the propensity of man for evil. I believe it is the only way to truly appreciate the good. I believe we can fight evil with goodness in order to prevent chaos from consuming us. I think there is good in everyone, literally everyone, but it is up to them to access it.

Shining a light in the darkness produces more light. It ripples, and in so doing, it multiplies its effect through our communities, our nation, and the world in general.

It doesnt happen on its own, but it doesnt require much to start a ripple. We simply need to pay attention and take action. As the ripple grows, there will be small and large sacrifices. There also must be thought, planning, and spontaneity as well. It takes leadership, even if those who are called to be leaders dont realize thats the role theyve taken on.

Focusing on the beauty rather than the ashes in life warrants celebration, a highlighting of the efforts to brighten a sometimes very dark world.

Thats why my friend and collaborator Jim DeFelice and I are writing this book. Over our time traveling and just living, we, both of us reformed skeptics and cynics, have spent more than a year meeting and talking to different people who have shined a light in the darkness. Many of these people have overcome tremendous handicaps or suffered great losses. Many have been blessed with an uncomplicated, rich life. Some have lucked into success; others have had worldly success denied in the harshest ways. But all have drawn on the best of themselves and in turn encouraged the American Spirit in others.

The people and organizations youll meet in this book are, we hope, a cross section of America. A few are famous, a few are very young, many are wise, but they dont share one particular quality other than heart and a desire to do good in order to help their fellow man and, in turn, mankind.

The people and organizations youll meet in the pages that follow are each doing their own part to bring order to chaos and to show up for other people. I believe they improve the lives of all of us every day just by tipping the scales in favor of good rather than evil. Each one represents a different way of either overcoming adversity, helping others, or both. Each one, in his or her own way, represents the pebble that lands in the middle of the pond, generating ripples of help and hope outward.

Their actions are an example for the rest of us. If a notorious bad-ass like Jesse James can help the homeless, if a preteen from Middle America can raise money for cancer victims with a lemonade stand, if a few socks can brighten a shut-ins daywhat can we do to make a difference? And whatperhaps less noteworthyactions do we take that imprint on the next generation in ways we may never know, simply because we lived a good life caring about others. What tips will they pick up? How will the pebbles of our actions create ripples? It isnt ours to know; it is only ours to do right, live well, and help others. The beauty about ripples is that they take care of themselves.