Mary Theresa Stimming - Before their time: adult childrens experiences of parental suicide
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Before their time: adult childrens experiences of parental suicide
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The paper used in this publication meets the requirements of the American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI 239.48-1984
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Before their time : adult children's experiences of parental suicide / edited by Mary Stimming and Maureen Stimming. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 1-56639-654-9 (alk. paper). ISBN 1-56639-655-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. AgedSuicide. 2. ParentsDeathPsychological aspect. 3. Adult childrenPsychology. 4. Suicide victimsFamily relationship. I. Stimming, Mary T. (Mary Theresa) II. Stimming, Maureen. HV6545.2.B44 1999 155.9'37dc21 98-8173
Page v
For our brothers and sisters in grief who buried a parent before their time. And most especially in memory of our parents who died before their time.
Page vii
It takes time to heal. It has been three years for me. I'm still healing. I never thought I'd love my mother the way I love her now. Her absence is not the burden it once was when she first took her life. In her forever-goneness I am learning to reweave my life with threads I've held on to from her life. JoDe Rimar
One year and three weeks have passed since I received the news of my father's suicide. I am beginning to remember the law of gravity and to notice the friends still standing around me, reaching out in comfort and support. My husband steadfastly reminds me he loves me. We plan a picnic at the coast. I walk the dog in bare light, and I am grateful for the sun. I sing blessings to the rain that comes. I scroll through the happy memories of my father on his best afternoons. I meditate and exercise, rolling around in the green grass of the new sports park. I let the worries of money and worldly success roll by. And I keep writing. In remembering the joyful gifts of my life, I am coming home to myself for good. Kathryn H. Gessner
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The paper used in this publication meets the requirements of the American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI 239.48-1984