Kirsten Palladino - Equally wed: the ultimate guide to planning your LGBTQ+ wedding

my heart,

my joy,

my cheerleader,

my comfort,

my rock,

my forever

BY LANCE BASS AND MICHAEL TURCHIN

In the summer of 2015, the United States made a monumental leap forward when the Supreme Court finally ruled in favor of marriage equality for the LGBTQ+ community. What was once a distant hope for millions of gay and lesbian couples was now a fully realized right for all. For the first time, all LGBTQ+ couples could begin the exciting yet daunting task of planning legally recognized weddings, and as we began to plan our very own wedding, we were faced with a whole new set of questions and challenges.

When we immersed ourselves in the planning process, it quickly became apparent that there was a significant lack of resources available to us as a gay couple. We sought advice from our straight friends and families who had gone through the process themselves, but we soon realized that so many of the established traditions presented to us simply didnt make sense in our situation.

Do we get the same rings? What do we wear? Do we have a traditional ceremony? Where should we register? Which traditions should we keep and which should we create for ourselves? The list of questions we had seemed endless, and it only added unnecessary stress to what should have been one of the happiest days of our life together. As a result, we had to change our mind-sets, stop trying to fit our situation into the cookie-cutter notion of traditional marriage, and ultimately establish our own new traditions as a modern gay couple.

In an instant, frustration quickly transformed into excitement, and from that moment our creativity began to run wild! Instead of traditional young flower girls, we made a splash by using three of our gorgeous girlfriends who just happened to be supermodels. With no bride in the equation, why not?! Furthermore, we had a friend design three jaw-dropping gowns for our flower girls, reminiscent of couture wedding dresses. The end result was nothing short of amazing, and our guests are still talking about it to this day.

On another note, we made a point to use vendors and brands that had a record of supporting LGBTQ+ equality. From our flowers and food to our venue and tuxedos, we chose vendors who were truly excited to be a part of our union because without them and our other allies, its a real possibility that we wouldnt be husbands today.

Ultimately our ideas expanded our imaginations even further. We encouraged our guests to dress as lavishly as possiblewithout fear of overshadowing us! In our minds, this day was just as much for our close friends and family as it was for us. We wanted our guests to feel the most beautiful theyd ever felt, and if that meant showing up in a wedding dress and veil, then by all means we welcomed it.

Looking back, we often wonder how we managed to pull off such an incredible evening with the lack of resources we found pertaining to same-sex weddings. Everything came together beautifully in the end, but if more information had been readily available to help us in regards to the unique planning and execution of our special day, we could have spared ourselves hours if not days worth of stress and worry. That is why Equally Wed is such a game changer in the world of same-sex weddings.

Equally Wed covers everything an engaged couple planning their wedding should consider from I will to I do with a modern approach tailored specifically to the needs of the LGBTQ+ community. From traveling to safe countries on the honeymoon to dealing with homophobic relatives when making the guest list to breaking out of societys so-called norms, Equally Wed leaves no stone unturned when it comes to successfully planning and executing that truly special day.

Lastly, we would be remiss if we didnt acknowledge the amazing woman who worked tirelessly making Equally Wed into a reality. Kirsten Palladino is an award-winning writer and editor, and one of the worlds most notable experts on LGBTQ+ weddings. We first learned of Kirsten back in 2012, when she established National Marriage Equality Day in response to Mike Huckabees National Chick-Fil-A Day, which applauded the restaurant chains homophobic policies and funding of gay conversion therapy. Our paths then crossed again in 2014 when we hosted the Toast to Marriage, an attempt to break the world record for the largest arms-linked toast (in support of marriage equality). We wholly respect the way that she believes in visibility, acceptance, and equality as we do, but also how she is relentless in fighting for it. Ultimately Kirsten isnt afraid to stand strong and use her voice, and now with Equally Wed, her voice and unique expertise are readily available to ensure that every LGBTQ+ person has the resources to plan the wedding of their dreams.

I always wanted to get married. As a little girl, I dreamed of marriage, of being swept off my feet and finding that one person, my soul mate. I was often lost in some book, whether it was a sweet romance or some daring detective novel, romanticizing much of my future, including meeting my mate. By the time I entered my twenties, I knew a few things for certain: I was going to be an editor and a writer, and someday I would meet my life partner. Sure enough, my work as an editorial intern at a metropolitan newspaper and editor in chief of my college newspaper helped me land my first job as an editor at a national art magazine, where I was working when I began dating my future wife.