Barry J. Gibbons - Chronicles from the planet business: an eyewitness account of the the crimes, passions, madness, and downright stupidity of modern business
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Chronicles from the planet business: an eyewitness account of the the crimes, passions, madness, and downright stupidity of modern business
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An Eyewitness Account of the Crimes, Passions, Madness, and Downright Stupidity of Modern Business
Barry J. Gibbons
Page ii
Copyright Barry Gibbons 2000
The right of Barry Gibbons to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
First published 2000 Published simultaneously in the United States and the United Kingdom.
Capstone Publishing Limited Oxford Centre for Innovation Mill Street Oxford OX2 0JX United Kingdom http://www.capstone.co.uk
Capstone Publishing Inc. 40 Commerce Park Milford, CT 06460 USA
Contact: 203-878-6417
All rights reserved. Except for the quotation of short passages for the purposes of criticism and review, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
The opinions and views expressed in this book are those of the author and do not represent those of the publisher.
US Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the US Library of Congress
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 1-84112-085-5
Designed and typeset by Kate Williams, Abergavenny Printed and bound by Sheridan Books, Ann Arbor, Michigan
This book is printed on acid-free paper
Substantial discounts on bulk quantities of Capstone books are available to corporations, professional associations and other organizations. If you are in the USA or Canada, phone the LPC Group for details on (1-800-626-4330) or fax (1-800-243-0138). Everywhere else, phone Capstone Publishing on (+44-1865-798623) or fax (+44-1865-240941).
Page iii
This book is in memory of Joss, our golden retriever, who died, at an age of nearly 15, in 1999. In 30 years in business I have not met one human who had half his combined grace, honor, and dignity. It makes you think...
Page iv
These essays were originally published in the Miami Herald, and on their Website and on the Knight Ridder wire service. Most have been rewritten, some substantially. My thanks go to the Herald's long-suffering editorial team for welcome help along the way.
Page v
INTRODUCTION WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
In 1997, I was into my fourth year of 'retirement' after leaving Big Business. It was my choice to retire. My bank managers (I seem to have acquired several) miss the old life (profoundly), but I do not. With Burger King's famed turnaround getting smaller in the rear-view mirror, I gave away my blue suit (the one with the elbows shining like Bette Davis's eyes) and began having fun.
I became involved in a gaggle of start-up companies on both sides of the Atlantic, and discovered, late in life, the terrors of burn-rate. By 1997, I was already drafting my second book, fired by the goal of giving it a longer title than the first. This I achieved. I also found myself entertaining business executives and customers from blue-chip companies across the world with my peculiar approach to keynote speaking.
Page vi
But something was missing. Inspired by Richard Branson, I sought the satisfaction of achieving one of nature's last great challenges, and set off to be the first man to fly a hot-air balloon around Linda Tripp. But the Gods frowned, the winds were from the east, and it was not to be. Another challenge was needed.
After a two-year time-out, I decided to re-commence my bi-monthly business diary for the Miami Herald newspaper and Website. It was as though I'd never been away, and it was rapidly offered on the Knight Ridder newspaper group's wire service.
It became cult reading. I carelessly ended each column with my online address, and every week, without fail, an email would flood inoffering insurance.
Many thought I wrote for the simple pleasure of Monday-morning-quarterbacking the world of business, ripping into the many lunacies of modern commerce with my Peter Drucker meets Aesop meets Monty Python style of commentary. Many (who obviously don't know Jack about journalism) thought I did it for the money. They were all wrong.
My real goal was to chronicle the last years of the business millennium. No, really. I felt that posterity would appreciate an out-of-body look at a whole range of business issues as the world of commerce completed its last swirls before disappearing down the plug-hole of Y2K. A look, that is, as seen through the 2 magnification eyeglasses of someone who Tom Peters admiringly calls a madmanwhich remains my greatest, non-sexual compliment.
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