Lemon - Transparent

TRANSPARENT

TRANSPARENT

CNN ANCHOR AND SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT

Don Lemon

www.fgpbooks.com

ISBN-13: 978-0-9827-0278-9
ISBN-10: 0-9827-0278-7
ISBN-13: 978-0-9727-0993-4 (e-books)
ISBN-10: 0-9727-0993-2 (e-books)

2011 Don Lemon

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

Farrah Gray Publishing, its logos, and its marks are trademarks of Farrah Gray Publishing

Karyn Langhorne Folan
Dr. Marcia Brevard Wynn
Cover Photo John Nowak 2011 Cable News Network. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved.

CONTENTS

I was a kid who felt different from other kids.

I was a kid who lived in fear of other kids.

I was a kid who was bullied by other kids.

I know what it feels like to think that one is completely alone.

Thankfully, I survived those moments. I lived through them and past them, into better moments. I lived through them and past them, into moments that taught me that even when I felt most alone, I wasnt.

As I grew older and became more successful in my career, those dark moments faded deep into my memory. They were almost a thing of the past, until I heard the story of Tyler Clementi.

Tyler Clementi was a gifted violinist and student at Rutgers University who had a promising future. Sadly, he never got the chance to enjoy all that lay ahead of him. Tyler jumped off the George Washington Bridge in New York City on September 29, 2010, shortly after his roommate streamed videos of Tyler and a male friend having sex on the Internet for the entire world to see. Mortified, humiliated and desperate, he saw no other choice but death. He was 18 years old.

Tylers suicide placed national attention on the difficulties many gay young people face. Bullying, both in cyber space and in physical space, ostracism, cruelty and fear are the daily companions of many gay teens who live with being different in a world that often seems determined to force everyone to be the same. Many grow up feeling alone, ashamed and unloved. Some, sadly, choose death to escape. I believe that now is the time for all of us to acknowledge, once and for all, that God made some of us straight and some of us gay. I believe that now is the time for all of us to take a stand against the heinous behavior that far too many young people battle on a daily basis simply because of their sexual orientation.

This book is dedicated in memory of Tyler Clementi, and to the many young people just like him who believe that they are alone.

You are not.

T he word no really bothers me.

The surest way to get me to do something is to tell me that I cant do it. Tell me no, and youve got a fight on your hands. A rebellion. A challenge.

The word bothers me for a lot of reasons, not the least of which stem from growing up in the Deep South, where low black box expectations for black kids exclude them from so many things. The black box has had a huge impact on me. Ive always been determined to live beyond it, but its very existence has shaped my life, both in front of the camera and behind it. I call the phenomenon the black box because it encompasses a list of expectations and beliefs about black Americans that is as limiting as the four corners of a small box. Its a no list for black Americans, men in particular, that, oddly, is sometimes embraced by both blacks and whites. Its something Ive never understood and, as I said, something I have actively rebelled against my entire life.

No bothers me because its so often used peremptorily and without justification. When I hear no, I think automatically why not? I want to know the reasons behind the decision. Unfortunately, the reasons usually arent very good. In fact, theyre often terrible excuses. At worst, no is often the cover word for a secret. Its the preface to a lie, and a concealer for fear, for shame and lack of will.

My own past has been littered with secrets, and the people around me threw up barriers, shut down questions and offered the word no to keep me from finding out the truth.

When I was first approached about writing this book, my answer was no.

No because I have nothing to say.

No because I havent had the career of a Tom Brokaw or of some of the other old school journalists whose life work I greatly admire.

No because now is not the time.

Trust me, I had a million reasons not to write this book!

Upon further thought, I realized that I was saying no for the same reasons I generally despise.

As a journalist, Im a huge believer in transparency. I dont like communication with a hidden agenda, and I dont like people who conceal things to make themselves look better. Transparency in the process of obtaining information is crucial. Without it, the news might as well be called the spin or the opinions because all bets about its accuracy and objectivity are off. Journalism isnt supposed to be about spin or opinions. Its supposed to be about balance and objectivity. Its about finding the information and putting it out there for the viewer to decide. Its just the facts, maam, to quote the old line from Dragnet, a TV show that was already in reruns when I was a kid in the late sixties and early seventies.

If a fact is concealed or missing, you get a very different picture of a person or an event than you might have with full disclosure. Thats exactly why it matters that journalists tell the truth and present all the facts. If you dont present the viewers with as complete a picture as you can draw, you skew the results. You fail to give the people what they need in order to be able to draw their own conclusions.

In the interest of transparency, it also seems fair for viewers to know something about the people from whom they get their information.

I realized that if I am going to write a book, I will have to face questions regarding my own transparency. How much can I tell? What is relevant to the story and what isnt? If I omit facts about myself, my life, both past and present, that have shaped who I am, will I be violating my personal credo to be myself, and only myself? If I tell everything, will that make me narcissistic?

Will transparency cost me my career?

In writing, I know Ill have to treat myself like a reluctant interviewee and answer some hard questions.

It is a terrifying prospect!

Theres a poem by Shel Silverstein that has meant a lot to me over the years. Its called Listen to the Mustnts and it goes:

Listen to the MUSTNTS, child

Listen to the DONTS

Listen to the SHOULDNTS

The IMPOSSIBLES, the WONTS

Listen to the NEVER HAVES

Then listen close to me

Anything can happen, child,

ANYTHING can be.1

Thinking of that poem and what it means helped me to decide to move forward with this project and to be as honest and as transparent as possible in these pages. Writing this book represents just one more way I can push the boundaries of no and must not and reach for the anythings. I hope that by sharing my personal revelations and experiences, I can also offer inspiration to others.