Mark Gilroy Communications - Loving the love of your life: show Him how much you really care (and see what happens next!)

Loving the Love
of
Your Life

Show Her How
Much You Really Care

(And See What Happens Next!)

Loving the Love of Your Life

Copyright 2009 Mark Gilroy Creative, LLC

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson.
Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scriptures are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version 1979, 1980, 1987, 1988, 1991, by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

Other Scripture references are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION (NIV). Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved; and Holy Bible, New Living Translation (NLT) 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Ill. All rights reserved.

Thomas Nelson, Inc. titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

Project Editor: Mark Gilroy Creative, LLC

Designed by Thinkpen Design, Inc., www.thinkpendesign.com

ISBN-13: 978-1-4041-8764-1

Printed and bound in the United States of America

www.thomasnelson.com

Table of Contents

Introduction
For Husbands Only

(No peeking, ladies.)

W hen you look around at your friends and familys marriages and at your own, you realize that marriages are as different as the people in them. But whether a couple is blissfully happy or on the brink of disaster, theres one thing every marriage has in common: room for improvement. Love must be nurtured if its going to thrive and growevery single day.

Thats where this book comes in. Because love isnt really a feeling as much as a practice. And by practicing love, you enable the love-feelings to grow deeper. Along the way, mutual trust and respect are built up; resentments crumble and give way to forgiveness; and a climate of love and appreciation begins to formall markers of a happy and stable marriage. We hope to give you tools and ideas for loving the love of your life practically and actively, getting you on the road to the marriage you long for.

As you get started, here are some simple guidelines to follow:

1. If youre going through it with your wife, take turns reading and doing the activities in each chapter, using your own creativity to add to or modify an activity any way youd like. Read the Know It section, take the action step in the Show It section, then give the book back to your wife by following the instructions in the Pass It On section. Now its her turn. Dont pick up the book again until she passes it back to you. And no flipping the book over and peeking at activities she might have planned for you.

2. If youre working through this book on your own,dont lose heartone persons efforts in a marriage can go a long, long way, even if theyre not immediately reciprocated.

3. Go for it. Some of these activities might seem a little goofy, maybe a little high-school. But try to let go of mundane adult seriousness and just go for it! A little goofiness might be just what you need to rekindle that youthful spark you felt when you were dating.

4. Theres one more guideline for using this book, and its critical: no peeking! Okay, thats been mentioned, but we know its tempting. Those fuchsia-colored pages are just a short finger-walk away from your side of the book, and wouldnt it be nice to know what she is cooking up? But youll appreciate your wifes activities better if you receive them without expectation. Let yourself be surprised, and let your wife surprise you.

So turn the page to the first chapter and settle down in your chair to read and make plans for showing the one you love that you love her. She wont know what hit herand neither will your marriage.

Take an
Active Interest
in Her Day

Let each of you look out
not only for his own interests,
but also for the interests of others.

PHILIPPIANS 2:4

KNOW IT

A t the end of the workday, there are two common ways to communicate when you first get home. One is to recap your day at workthe good, the bad, and the ugly. And theres a good chance your wife wants you to debrief your day that way. A second option is to come home and shut everybody out. After all, if youve had an intense day of interactions, the last thing you may want or need is to go over things one more time.

But theres a third way to communicate at the end of the daya way thats too often forgottenand thats to ask her about her day. Does this have to become a daily pattern to be effective? Not necessarily, though if you are groaning at the thought of listening to how her day went, it may mean that this particular means of loving the love of your life is especially important for you to practice. For example, if you feel as if she drones on and on, that may be a simple matter that she doesnt feel listened to and is compensating by trying to get your attention. Practice asking about her day. Be consistent and listen to what she says. Then you should encounter no resentment when you come home on a particular night and communicate that you really do need some downtime to unwind after a tough day.

SHOW IT

Just because you know the rules of good listening doesnt mean you follow them! Ask her how her day was and then do the following: (a) really mean it, (b) make good eye contact, (c) dont interrupt her stories with stories of your own, editorial comments, or criticism and correction, (d) ask follow-up questions, and (e) dont rush her. Sound too simple? Go for it and give yourself a grade on each of the points above. Active listening isnt as easy as it sounds.

Having someone who understands is a great blessing to ourselves. Being someone who understands is a great blessing to others.

JANETTE OKE

PASS IT ON

When you pass the book to your wife, dont just leave it somewhere for her to find Make eye contact, hand it to her, and ask, Am I doing any better listening to you? If she hasnt noticed yet, dont get defensive and explain or scold Just, well, listen and smile, and when shes finished tell her, Im working on it!

Make Some
Beautiful
Music

Speak to one another with psalms,
hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and
make music in your heart to the Lord.

EPHESIANS 5:19 NIV

KNOW IT

M usic is a sound the heart hears, because music encompasses and expresses every emotion: from anger to sorrow; from happiness to excitement; and yes, including love and affection. Have you ever noticed how, in some films, you feel moved by a combination of the action plus the soundtrack? If the music were removed, you might not feel as strong a connection to the characters and plot. In much the same way, music can capture the emotion behind the experiences in our own lives and express those emotions to others.