Martin - The perfectionism workbook: practical skills to help you let go of self-criticism, find balance, and reclaim your self-worth

Perfectionists, procrastinators, and people-pleasers take note. There is a new book available that can change how you live your life! The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism by Sharon Martin is more than a book; its a program. If you find yourself caught up in self-criticism and self-judgment, struggling with deadlines, or sabotaging your own success, you will find enormous comfort and guidance in this well-thought-out, highly structured workbook.

Jonice Webb, PhD, nationally recognized pioneer in the area of childhood emotional neglect, and best-selling author of Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More

This workbook redefines what it means to work through your stuff. Its chock-full of activities that help you really think about what you want to change AND gets you actively moving towards the change you want to see. The workbook takes you from understanding perfectionism to navigating the tough road to recovering from perfectionism to being able to live a life without the guilt and people-pleasing that come from being a perfectionist. And while many workbooks claim to do this, the way Sharon has crafted this workbook shows you step by practical step how to succeed at making this a solid transition. Professionals will love working with this book in their practices, and clients will love working through their perfectionism with such a useful guide.

Mercedes Samudio, LCSW , parent coach, and best-selling author of Shame-Proof Parenting

Im a big fan of workbooks because they allow the reader to become an active participant in their self-help efforts. Sharon Martins contribution to help people fight perfectionism is a fantastic antidote to getting perfectionisms maladaptive behaviors better under control. Martin offers a direct and no-nonsense look at perfectionism that eschews psychobabble, pulling together techniques in a cohesive and sensible manner. This workbook works well as either an adjunct to psychotherapy, or as a stand-alone guide to those in need of help of silencing the perfectionist in themselves. Theres no better book on the market that offers such practical advice and exercises for someone who wants better control over their perfectionism.

John M. Grohol, PsyD , founder and editor-in-chief of www.psychcentral.com

Many people struggle with perfectionism whether its in our workplaces, in relationships, or the battle within ourselves. And many books talk about its root causes and how perfectionism affects the human psyche. But rarely do books offer ways to address perfectionism. In The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism , Sharon Martin offers practical, concrete, research-driven ways to let go of struggles like self-criticism, procrastination, people-pleasing, and the need for control. A must-read for anyone whose potential has been hindered by perfectionism.

Melvin Varghese, PhD , psychologist, and founder of Selling The Couch

Perfectionism can be paralyzing, but Sharon Martin gives you a road map to reclaim your life. Sharon expertly guides you to down a path to self-discovery, and arms you with exercises to find mental and emotional freedom. For lifelong high achievers, The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism is a must-have companion that will help you embrace imperfect action and reach your goals with less stress.

Melody Wilding, LMSW , peak performance coach, and adjunct professor of human behavior at The City University of New York

Sharon Martin has been a trusted resource for my clinical work for years. She has a way of breaking down complex topics into understandable explanations, which makes them easier to understand and address. This workbook is no exception. She clearly explains what perfectionism is, how it shows up in our lives, where it comes from, and what we can do to change the perfectionistic behavior, which can be so problematic in our lives. This workbook includes so many effective strategies to help those of us who struggle because of perfectionism, and I plan to use it in my individual work with clients as well as with groups. I highly recommend this book to clinicians and the general public alike.

Laura Reagan, LCSW-C , integrative trauma therapist, and host of the Therapy Chat podcast

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2019 by Sharon Martin

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Ryan Buresh

Edited by Jennifer Eastman

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Martin, Sharon C., 1971- author.

Title: The CBT workbook for perfectionism : evidence-based skills to help you let go of self-criticism, build self-esteem, and find balance / Sharon Martin ; foreword by Julie de Azevedo Hanks.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, 2019. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2018031431 (print) | LCCN 2018033637 (ebook) | ISBN 9781684031542 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781684031559 (ePub) | ISBN 9781684031535 (paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Perfectionism (Personality trait) | Anxiety. | Self-actualization (Psychology) | Self-esteem. | BISAC: SELF-HELP / Anxieties & Phobias. | SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Self-Esteem.

Classification: LCC BF698.35.P47 (ebook) | LCC BF698.35.P47 M37 2019 (print) | DDC 155.2/32--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018031431

Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1. What Is Perfectionism?

2. What Perfectionism Looks Like in Your Life

3. Uncovering the Roots of Your Perfectionism

4. From Fear to Courage

5. From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion

6. From Procrastinating to Getting Things Done

7. From Busy to Mindfully Present

8. From People-Pleasing to Being Assertive

9. From Anger to Peace

10. From Criticizing to Accepting Others

11. From Guilt to Self-Care

12. From Shame to Connection

13. Putting It All Together

Appendix A. Cognitive Distortions

Appendix B. Questions for Challenging Perfectionist Thinking

Appendix C. Feeling Words

Appendix D. Self-Care Activities

References

Foreword

I n a culture obsessed with appearance and performance, its all too easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism. Ive personally fallen into this trap and have had to gain skills to overcome perfectionism, as have many of my clients during over two decades of clinical practice. Yet there are few resources that tackle perfectionism specifically, and none that are so actionable and practical as Sharon Martins book The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism .

Because Sharon and I work with similar clientelehighly motivated and gifted individuals who find themselves feeling burdened, chronically unhappy, and emotionally drainedI was excited to see what new insights and resources she would bring to the process of overcoming perfectionism. Ive been looking for this kind of workbook for years!

Perfectionism manifests in people who want to excel, who care about their families, and who work hard in their careers. As a licensed counselor, Sharon speaks with authority and wisdom, but not pretension, offering exercises to walk you though each process step-by-step. I found her work to be enlightening, as it makes use of both evidence-based strategies and real-life clinical examples from her own career as a clinician.