Morris - Adopting: real life stories

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ADOPTING

Real Life Stories

ANN MORRIS

Foreword by Hugh Thornbery

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

Note: All case studies have been taken from Adoption UKs magazine Adoption Today and from the Adoption UK forum, except in the case of birth mothers stories and one of the case studies in . All names have been changed, except where there has been a request to keep a real name. Occasionally a case study has a double asterisk **, which indicates that it appeared in Ann Morris (1999) The Adoption Experience . London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

First published in 2017

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

www.jkp.com

Copyright Ann Morris and Adoption UK 2017

Foreword copyright Hugh Thornbery 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying, storing in any medium by electronic means or transmitting) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the law or under terms of a licence issued in the UK by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd. www.cla.co.uk or in overseas territories by the relevant reproduction rights organization, for details see www.ifrro.org. Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978 1 84905 660 1

eISBN 978 1 78450 155 6

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

I t has been a real pleasure to read and to be asked to write the foreword to this book. As Ann states in her introduction, its around 20 years ago that Adoption UK asked her to write her previous book, The Adoption Experience .

This would have been at the time of Adoption UKs 25th anniversary. I am thrilled that we now have a brand new book which gathers together experiences of adoption today and that once again many of Adoption UKs wonderful members have given generously of their time to share, through Ann, their personal stories. Adoption is important; it changes some of societys most vulnerable childrens lives for the better and it enriches families, but it can also be a tough ride at times. Adoption UKs members are one of the best resources available to those who adopt: a strong, vibrant community of interest and a movement that brings change.

Its easy to reflect on the changes that we have seen over the last two decades. I could list a whole series of legislative, policy, funding and practice developments, but I wont. What I will do is reflect on the fact that two ex-Prime Ministers personally took an active interest in adoption.

Its easy to be cynical about political initiatives but, whilst recent adoption policy developments have not solved all that needs to be corrected in a fractured adoption system, they have both brought a welcome focus upon the needs of adopted children and others with similar histories. Most importantly, they have made tangible differences to the arrangements for supporting adopted children and their families. We are also seeing a much more positive interest in the development of support for adopted families in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

These developments are important because in a world that changes so rapidly some things do not change. We see historically high numbers of children in the care system. The need to protect children from serious harm through abuse or neglect does not go away. Many of these children are able to go back to their birth parents with the right support, others remain in care and a steady but relatively small proportion are adopted.

Consistently around 70 per cent of children adopted from care have experienced abuse and neglect. Too many of them will have had to move placement while in care and others will have experienced delay. We know these last two issues are in themselves harmful. The legacy of what has occurred before a child is placed with an adoptive family affects children in different ways. One significant change over the past 20 years has been our improved understanding of how children are affected by these experiences and what needs to be in place to help them. Getting the support for children right helps adopters to achieve what the international research on the outcomes of adoption tells us: that adopted children generally do well they catch up.

As well as forming an invaluable network of support for adopters and helping children to find families, what Adoption UK achieves through the power of our membership is to have the ability to persuasively influence policy initiatives so that, step by step, we raise awareness of adoption issues, improve the understanding of policy makers and inform practical developments on the ground that make a real difference. There are many more steps to take but progress is being made and sustained, even though resources will always be stretched.

What Ann does so well in this book is to bring the experiences of Adoption UKs members to others joining our community of interest. There is nothing that can replace the knowledge and experience of those who have trod the path ahead of others and, whilst everyones experiences will be different, hearing about the highs and lows of others, the twists and turns they may have encountered on the way, and how they got through the stormy times provide invaluable insights into the challenges and rewards that lie ahead.

The Adoption Experience provided essential information for many families over the years and I am certain that Anns new book, Adopting , will go on to help many adopters and prospective adopters for years into the future I thoroughly recommend this book.