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First published 2014 (print and electronic)
Pearson Education Limited 2014 (print and electronic)
The right of Jenny Nabben to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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ISBN: 978-1-292-00475-4 (print)
978-1-292-00523-2 (PDF)
978-1-292-00522-5 (ePub)
978-1-292-00802-8 (eText)
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Cover design by Nick Redeyoff
Print edition typeset in 10/15pt ITC Giovanni Std by 30
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NOTE THAT ANY PAGE CROSS-REFERENCES REFER TO THE PRINT EDITION
Contents
About the author
Jenny Nabben is a highly experienced corporate communications consultant who has worked for over 20 years with global companies including HSBC, Coca-Cola Enterprises, Lloyds and Hays.
Jenny has an MBA and is a Master Practitioner in neurolinguistic programming (NLP) with an expanding international practice of training and coaching clients from a wide range of organisations including financial services, telecommunications, fast-moving consumer goods and not-for-profit.
Jenny has a particular interest in language and neuroscience and in helping organisations to connect with their employees better. Jenny founded Nabben Communications in 2010:
www.nabbencommunications.com.
Authors acknowledgements
Id like to thank all those people who have influenced me and in doing so made this book possible. I will be forever grateful to Caroline Goyder who so generously gave me the opportunity to write the book and who was there every step of the way; you are an inspiration and a true friend. Also to Dr Tamara Russell, my friend and mindfulness teacher; thanks for sharing your knowledge as a neuroscientist and for your insights to help me shape the book.
To my wonderful family in Australia who are always there no matter what especially to Lee who is one of the best listeners I know and was there on day one; to Anne, Peter, Rob, Kerri and Elizabeth for your support and love. To Gail Ann Dorsey whos always been my creative inspiration. To Lisa Jennings who knows what she did all those years ago. To my UK family; Louise who has been the staunchest of supporters and to Sian, Yvonne, Liz, Helen C, Helen W, Diane, Megan and Abby for your healing hands.
A huge thank you goes to Eloise at Pearson for being the best commissioning editor a first-time author could ever hope for; without your encouragement, guidance and support I would have given up. Also thanks to Natasha Whelan for seeing this through to the end and to Helen MacFadyen for your expert editorial input.
Finally, I want to end where it all started and thank my mother who is a true artist, a great supporter and simply the biggest influence in my life.
Publishers acknowledgements
The publishers are grateful to the following for permission to reproduce copyright material:
from Barsade, S G (2002) The ripple effect: emotional contagion and its influence on group B behaviour, Administrative Science Quarterly , 47, 644, copyright by SAGE Publications, reprinted by permission of SAGE Publications; Figure on p. 56 courtesy of Dr Tamara Russell; Cartoon on p. 110 by permission of Gary Barker Illustration; The Orchestra of Recycled Parts story on p. 17 Guardian News and Media Limited 2013.
In some instances we have been unable to trace the owners of copyright material, and we would appreciate any information that would enable us to do so.
How to use this book
This book will help you understand the building blocks of influence; the power of language, how to tell your story with passion and how to tune up your own emotional awareness so you can tune in to others.
Youll find a practical step-by-step path and simple daily exercises that will help you turn up your own dial of influence.
You may like to focus on the ideas that are presented in the book and take more of an intellectual approach with the content and theory of the book. This is one type of learning that allows us to understand theoretical and conceptual ideas of influence. If you use this sort of attention, you will be using the frontal lobe of your brain or the executive centre that helps us make intellectual sense of the world. However, the text offers experiential exercises to try out that will engage you at a more emotional and felt sense of learning. If you choose to do this, you will be using more of your limbic system and developing your insight and emotional intelligence. You can test out for yourself whether you think IQ beats emotional intelligence or whether your preference is more for intellectual understanding. Or you might like to do both and contrast and compare the different ways that your brain processes, understands and assimilates information.
Influence matters
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Outline
This chapter sets the scene: what influence is and why its so important; why neuroscience helps us understand how influence works; how to set your goal for what you want to achieve.
What is influence?
Being able to positively influence others is one of the most important skills for success in our personal and professional lives. But what do we mean by this word influence?
Its a tricky word both a noun and a verb something we have and something we do. Like a lot of words, it packs a big punch because it means so many different things to different people. If you do an internet search you will come up with Time magazines annual list of the top most influential people, which in 2013 includes Jennifer Lawrence (actor), Jay Z (musician, entrepreneur), Malala Yousazai (social activist), Elon Musk (inventor and entrepreneur) and Hilary Mantel (author). These people influence others through their art, their talent, their intellectual genius or their commitment to a cause they paint a picture of another world, show us what we are capable of and nourish our creative spirit. But its not just about the talented, the well-connected or the well-educated. Think of people like Rosa Parks, Camila Batmanghelidjh (The Kids Company) and Paul and Rob Forkan (Gandys flip flops) these are ordinary people who choose to make a difference in their own unique way. While we might look up to pioneers, visionaries and talented souls, we can each turn up the dial on our own personal influence whether we want to garner support for our cause, inspire others to help us, build our business or be a better leader, coach or friend.