Whiston-Donaldson - Rare bird: a mothers story of unthinkable loss, impossible hope, and a beautiful boy who flew too soon

Profound, tender, honestand utterly unforgettable.

G RETCHEN R UBIN , author of New York Times #1 bestseller, The Happiness Project

Rare Bird is not just another well-written story of love, loss, and the aftermath of death, but it is a story that clearly shows the constant presence and grace of a loving God. It gives assurance and comfort to those whose hearts are grieving and hope to those who are afraid.

M ARY C. N EAL , MD, New York Times best-selling author of To Heaven and Back

This is not a book; it is a kaleidoscope. With every turn of the page, a new discovery is made that forever alters your view of pain, joy, heartache, time, hope, and healing. As I journeyed through Annas divinely written prose, I found myself unable to stand by as a passive recipient of her message. I needed to act. Because of Anna and Jack, I talked with my child about heaven. I walked around the pools edge to sit beside a grieving woman. I looked into the darkest places of my soul and for the first time, I did not look away. If you yearn to stop hiding from that which prevents you from truly living, step into the kaleidoscope that is Rare Bird. Turn the pagewake up, stand up, comfort, love, and live. Turn the pagelet your eyes be opened to the light that exists in whatever darkness you face.

R ACHEL M ACY S TAFFORD , New York Times best-selling author of Hands Free Mama

In her beautiful, clear-eyed prose Anna brings to life complex miracles: that the anchor of being strong is tied to feelings of unbearable weakness; that the ache of grief is often accompanied by glittering beauty; and that all we do not understand is more important to making sense of life than what we know. Her story, as well as Jacks story, is gorgeous, bold, and true, and no one will be unchanged in reading it.

S TACY M ORRISON , editor in chief and VP of Content Programming for BlogHer; author of Falling Apart in One Piece

R ARE B IRD
P UBLISHED BY C ONVERGENT B OOKS

All Scripture quotations and paraphrases are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. Scripture quotations marked ( ESV ) are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Italics in Scripture quotations reflect the authors added emphasis.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

We Live lyrics used by permission of Alfred Music. Words and music by Jrgen Bo Fredriksson and Staffan Erik Bosson Olsson. Copyright 2001 Warner/Chappell Music Scandinavia AB (Stim), M N W Music (Stim), and Emi Blackwood Music Inc. All rights on behalf of Warner/Chappell Music Scandinavia AB and M N W Music administered by WB Music Corp. All rights reserved.

Hardcover ISBN 978-1-60142-519-5
eBook ISBN 978-1-60142-521-8

Copyright 2014 by Anna Whiston-Donaldson

Cover design by Kristopher K. Orr

The photo on is by Kim Jackson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by Convergent Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, New York, a Penguin Random House Company.

C ONVERGENT B OOKS and its open book colophon are registered trademarks of Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Whiston-Donaldson, Anna.
Rare bird : a mothers story of unthinkable loss, impossible hope, and a beautiful boy who flew too soon / Anna Whiston-Donaldson.First Edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-60142-519-5ISBN 978-1-60142-521-8 (electronic) 1. ChildrenDeathReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. MothersReligious life. 3. GriefReligious aspectsChristianity. 4. BereavementReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4907.W46155 2014
248.866092dc23
[B]
2014006689

v3.1

For Margaret and Tim. Red, yellow, blue I love you!

I have been praying for Anna and her family since Jack died, but my prayers are different than you might expect. My prayers sound less like Help them and more like Help them. And please help me find the strength and faith that they have. Help me mother like Anna does. Help me believe like she does. Help my son learn what her son knew. Help my daughters trust God and persevere like Annas daughter does.

Jacks death terrified me. I had so many selfish thoughts, such as, If this could happen to Annas Jack, that means it could happen to my Chase. How would I survive being separated from my only son? At Jacks service, Anna started teaching me that love is bigger than fear. Anna started teaching me that even in the end, Love Wins. But I wonderedcould it last? Could Annas strength and hope withstand the onslaught of the coming days, months, and years without Jack?

After reading Rare Bird, I am done wondering. Oh, this book! Annas storytelling is raw and real and intense and funny. Her voice is so comforting and accessible that all her wisdom and beauty and insight just sneaks in. And Annas writing just glimmers; it somehow has light in it. This book took my breath away, but when I put it down, I felt able to breathe more deeply than I could before. Rare Bird made more space inside of me. Because through Annas writing, my deepest fears were wrapped in a blanket of peace. Its true: nothingnot even deathends the love between a mother and a son or the love between Father God and His daughter.

Jacks service was as brutal and beautiful as you might imagine, times infinity. The pastor said that in his thirty year career, hed never seen his sanctuary so full. Most of the guestschildren, adults, teens, elderlywore teeny Lego cross pins. We gathered quietly with tissues and red eyes, and we did our best to hold space for the grief, confusion, and anger that threatened to swallow us all up. We were very, very lost. And then, in the middle of the service, we witnessed a miracle. Anna stood in front of the masses of mourners, and just days after her sons death, she delivered a flawless, tearless, divinely inspired tribute to Jack and to the power of faith. I have never seen anything braver or more exceptional in my life.

Anna did not allow death to stop her from honoring her son. Trusting God to help her, she stood and she spoke boldly and with truth and hope, and her voice did not quiver, not once. In the midst of her pain, she proved true her boys belief that nothing is impossible with God. The congregation witnessed that scripture become real. And we needed scripture to become real, because after Jacks death, many of us felt a crisis of faith. Many of us had spent the previous days shaking furious fists at God and then doubting Gods very existence. Many of us walked into that memorial with less faith than wed ever had in our lives. Wed shown up to comfort Anna, to hold