Dear fellow mommy,
A short time ago, it would have been beyond the realm of possibility to imagine that I would be writing a book like this. I never could have anticipated that I would experience the death of a child shortly after birth. Nor that I would lose two more children through miscarriage in the years that followed. Yet here I sit: reflecting on those things that were once unfathomable, and typing away, comforted by the click-clack of the keyboard and the familiar sounds of my favorite coffee shop.
The unthinkable did happen and has become a very real and profound part of the woman I am today. It was impossible for me to experience loss and remain unchanged. I couldnt pretend to be unaffected, despite the messages I received from others who expected me to move on or try again. Perhaps you can relate. Perhaps youre reading this book, the book you never thought youd read, because you too experienced the unthinkable. You too lost a baby, and for that, I am so sorry. There are absolutely no words of comfort that will ever make the pain go away. There is nothing I can do to magically heal the hole that has been left in your heart. Though I too have experienced loss, we each grieve and mourn in our own unique way. Such differences are to be expected and, whats more, are perfectly okay. The one thing that remains the same, however, regardless of our specific circumstances, is that it hurts.
While I, in my humanness, can understand a taste of what youre going through, having been there myself, the aim of this book is not to assert that I know just how you feel. Sure, youll learn about my stories of loss and youll read portions of other womens storieswomen who have also been there. You will likely be able to relate to our stories, and you may find comfort in knowing that there are other women out there who have been through something similar and are actually livingnot merely existingin a world that seemingly crumbled to pieces the moment that their precious babies went to heaven. I pray that our stories bring encouragement as you travel this grief journey.
While our shared experience of loss may produce a bond between us that we possess with no other, the aim of this book is to point you to the One who understands fully and completely the suffering you are enduring. Thats right, sweet friend, there is such a person who exists and lives today. This person endured suffering like no othersuffering that included even death on a cross. This person is the Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior of the world. His Father, God, knows the pain in each of our hearts as He willingly gave up His Son to die for our sins, so that through His sacrifice we can have hope. Thats what this book is all about: the promise of Gods hope, found only through the death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus. He is the One who gives and takes away, who conquered sin and death, and who by His grace gathers each of our children in His arms. Jesus is the reason I am a mommy with hope.
Teske
Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow: Finding Light
Beyond the Shadow of Miscarriage or Infant Loss
2012 by Teske Drake
Published by Kregel Publications, a division of Kregel, Inc., P.O. Box 2607, Grand Rapids, MI 49501.
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For Justin, the father of our five precious childrenthree in Gods dwelling place, two in our own. You are the best daddy I know, and it is a miracle to share this life with you. I love you.
Contents
When a little one slips home to heaven too soon, our hearts ache. I know this pain firsthand and Teske Drake does as well. Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of this kind of loss is the feeling that we are alone in our hurt. Let me assure you, dear sister, that you are not. More than anything else, this is the gift the following pages offer.
As an author, friend, and fellow griever, Teske will take you by the hand and whisper to your heart what you most need to hear. She will also remind you that even in the darkest moments, God has not forsaken you and He offers hope and healing when it seems impossible.
It has been several years now since we lost our only pregnancy to miscarriage. I would never have chosen this path. But looking back now, I wouldnt trade it. Those are words I never thought I would be able to say. Ive come to understand thats what real hope meansthat the impossible can come true in our lives.
As a writer, counselor, and life coach, Ive seen the same happen for many other women. In the darkest circumstances, the deepest sorrow, we somehow find a resilience and strength we didnt know we had. And we discover we serve a God who is a Redeemer, who lets nothing go to waste, especially when it comes to the hurts in our lives.
I ask one thing of you in this moment: please keep your heart open . If youre feeling as I did, then right now you probably want to slam the door of your heart shut, lock it, and throw away the key. Yet its only by letting love in and allowing gentle truth to find its way to the places inside you that need it most that youll begin to heal.
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