Hallie Scott - Hope Beyond an Empty Cradle: The Journey Toward Healing After Stillbirth, Miscarriage, and Child Loss

When I heard that my friend Hallie and her husband lost their baby, I was speechless. What could I possibly say or do to help? I was deeply saddened by the news but had absolutely no idea what to say. So I said nothing. I had no words for my friend of over twenty years. Hallie and Shadrach have taken their pain and given us a gift. This beautiful book will help all of us understand these losses in a real and profoundly personal way. I hope you dont need this book, but if you do, you will appreciate the personal and pastoral way Hallie guides you through the thoughts, fears, and tears associated with the road to healing.

P AUL H. A LEXANDER , president, Hope International University

With authentic expression and vulnerability, Hallie allows her own experiences of loss to tell a story about Gods redeeming love and the restoration of a broken heart. The journey of healing is remarkably articulated to provide an understanding of the time, space, support, and comfort needed to normalize the grief process unique to baby loss. Like Abby, this book is a gift from God to minister to the many families who have been left distraught and confused by the loss of children in their lives and offers a hope beyond all understanding.

M ELISSA L. Z WART , MS, MA, LMFT, program director, Azusa Pacific University

This is the book I wish I had after my baby died. Hallie chronicles her own experience in a way that is refreshingly honest, relatable, and practical, and she does not shy away from questioning God in the midst of the deepest pain. Reading Hope Beyond an Empty Cradle after experiencing infant loss is like holding the hand of an empathic friend who has traveled the same roadand turns back to offer hope for your journey too.

R ACHEL L OHMAN , founder, Hope Again Collective

Hope Beyond an Empty Cradle gives an authentic voice to what has been a mostly silent grief. Through her own story of heartbreak, Hallie Scott has provided a tender validation for those experiencing this often lonely journey. Her subsequent work with other baby loss moms and dads has given her a wealth of practical advice for family and friends who want to support them. For Christian readers she leaves room to question and be angry with God while remembering that he will never leave us nor forsake us. Finally, it is an important book for therapists who work with traumatic grief and PTSD.

T HERESA C ORNELIUS , LMFT

ZONDERVAN REFLECTIVE

Hope Beyond an Empty Cradle

Copyright 2021 by Hallie Scott

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ePub Edition April 2021: ISBN 978-0-310-53415-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Scott, Hallie, author.

Title: Hope beyond an empty cradle : the journey toward healing after stillbirth, miscarriage, and child loss / Hallie Scott.

Description: Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 2021.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021003609 (print) | LCCN 2021003610 (ebook) | ISBN 9780310534143 (paperback) | ISBN 9780310534150 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Miscarriage. | ChildrenDeath. | MiscarriagePsychological aspects. | MiscarriageReligious aspectsChristianity.

Classification: LCC RG648 .S263 2021 (print) | LCC RG648 (ebook) | DDC 618.3/9dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021003609

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021003610

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Cover Design: Studio Gearbox

Cover Images: Iamkaoo99/Shutterstock; damerau/Shutterstock

Interior Design: Denise Froehlich

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For Abby

Chapter 1

ABBY

Delight yourself in the L ORD ,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

PSALM 37:4

I t was 4:30 a.m. on a Sunday in early August.

When I awoke, I was already hot. I expected that. My body felt like an incubator, given that I was thirty-nine weeks pregnant. Throughout my pregnancy, women had told me that summers were the worst time to be pregnant and that I would be hot. They werent wrong. I was hot multiplied by one thousand.

I was awakened by what I thought were labor pains. I had nothing to compare these pains to because this was my first pregnancy. The pain was enough to wake me but not so painful that I thought something was wrong. My thoughts immediately went to my C-section. My baby was in a breech position and had been the entire pregnancy. I didnt like the options available to try to turn the baby manually, so I had scheduled a cesarean delivery. Yet I still had nine days to go before that appointment. Why was I having contractions? The nurse hadnt covered this scenario in my birthing class. I had expected to go into surgery and deliver a baby without going into labor or experiencing labor pains.

My husband, Shadrach, and I had to get up in less than two hours to go to church, and I was a first-time mom, so I decided to rely on what I had heard in the birthing class: relax and wait. Although I was conflicted about this, I chose to hold on to what I had learned. But I did not sleep. I lay awake in bed, questioning myself. Do I wait, or do I need to do something? The pain wasnt terrible, and my husband was sound asleep. Do I wake him? Do we need to call the doctor?

I had also just seen the doctor less than forty-eight hours before, and at that appointment everything had been great. My baby, who we had learned at twenty weeks was a girl, seemed healthy. I had been able to see my baby girl practicing her breathing, I had heard the heartbeat, and she had looked perfect. I hadnt started to dilate and had no reason to believe anything was wrong. So why was I now having labor pains?