Whitney Ellenby - Autism uncensored: pulling back the curtain

PRAISE FOR

AUTISM UNCENSORED

A spellbinding achievement. Startlingly lucid, magnificently honest, and written with a magic golden pen, this book is an act of personal deliverance, spiritual redemption and heroic citizenship. It will make you weep for the people inside of it but cheer for all humanity. The irrepressible Whitney Ellenby shows us that, even in our darkest hours, all is not lost, we can find a way to a personal light.

CONGRESSMAN JAMIE RASKIN,
6th District, Maryland; Professor of Constitutional Law, American University, and Best-selling Author of We the Students and Overruling Democracy: the Supreme Court
vs. the American People

Autism Uncensored is an unflinching exploration of a mothers emotional--and, at times, physical--struggle for the dignity and humanity of her autistic son. A brave book.

RON SUSKIND, Pulitzer-prize winning journalist and best-selling Author of Life, Animated: A Story of Sidekicks, Heroes, and Autism (2014). Former senior national affairs writer for The Wall Street Journal from 1993 to 2000. Other books include A Hope in the Unseen, The Price of Loyalty, The One Percent Doctrine, The Way of the World and Confidence Men

Whitney Ellenbys Autism Uncensored is not the Hallmark movie version of Autism. It is abrasively honest and often painful to read. But the story of her journey with Zack is one that needs to be told, and the triumphant ending feels earned precisely because of her candor about all that came before it. A truly inspiring read about a remarkable true story.

BILL TURQUE, former journalist for The Washington Post and Author of Inventing Al Gore

Reading the story of Whitney and Zack is so real that I could visualize, feel, and smell the struggles, joys and emotions of their journey. I have worked with families and individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder for over 30 years and never have I experienced the intimate depth of knowing what it takes to raise a child with Autism. The writing exposes a parents vulnerability so that others can better learn and understand the true meaning of unconditional love and acceptance. This book is alive!

NANCY K. KELLY, MS Ed, NYS certified Special Education Teacher/Autism Spectrum Disorder Consultant and School District Administrator

Whitney Ellenby has written a book of love, not just for her son Zack, but for every person who raises a child. Her story helps us comprehend the importance of balancing theory with the monumentally important component of following your gut.

DONNA MEYER, First Grade Teacher, Bethesda Elementary School.

What makes this book essential reading is its open and transparent nature. In telling both the darkest and the lightest of moments in raising Zack, Whitney Ellenby gives families dealing with similar situations the best gift of all; they are not alone.

STEVEN OSHEROW
Therapist and friend of Zack.

Autism Uncensored:
Pulling Back the Curtain

by Whitney Ellenby

Copyright 2017 Whitney Ellenby

ISBN 978-1-63393-413-9

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the author.

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800-435-4811

www.koehlerbooks.com

Dedication

To Zack, the love of my life who took everything away... and then

put it back in the right order.

FLASHBACK

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.

CONFUCIUS

ZACK FURIOUSLY BEATS his head with both fists and begins to shriek loudly at a fever pitch. Some of the passengers are sensitive enough to grasp the crisis and turn away, studiously pretending to gaze out the airplane windows. But the spectacle is mounting. And my husband and I are too frantictoo humiliatedto care that we are adding to the scene by tearing into each other publicly, even as Zack starts coming out of his seat and lurching over the one in front of him. Were only in mid-flight, and theres no escaping this steel cabin.

Goddamn it, we are never doing this again! Keith hisses through clenched teeth.

Its our first plane trip in years with Zack, heading down to visit my family in Miami. Im depleted and badly in need of the perennial sunshine from my youth.

No, of course we wont do this again! I snap back savagely, Well just keep him locked away at home his whole life and never go anywhere!

This isnt worth it! Keith barks back. Nothing is worth this! Its all about you, your need to make him do this. And its selfish and wrong, he cannot do it, HE CAN NOT DO IT! This was a huge mistake... hes completely out of control!

SHUT UP! I am screaming, trembling uncontrollably. You dont deal with this crap every day like I do! I cannot fight you and him at the same time, so SHUT THE HELL UP!

Once again, Zacks feral tantrum sets off a reactive chain whereby he erupts first and becomes the catalyst for further implosion. Hostility is contagious, as time and again it spreads like wildfire through my marriage, unhinging life partners into bitter rivals. Our combustible dissembling is as predictable as a lab experiment gone wrong.

Zacks shrieks are high-pitched and piercing, reaching passengers in the front rows who turn around with startled annoyance. And then, as always, comes that withering look, the unique tang of disapproval and disgust. What the hell is wrong with that kid? Why would those parents even take him out in public?

I want bye-bye plane! I want down! I-WANT-DOWN! Zack screams, wholly terrorized.

As the tide of frustration floods Zacks body he begins savagely biting down on his wrist. His jaws clamp so ferociously that deep, red marks begin swelling along his forearm, the upper layers of skin ravaged and bursting into raw scraps of flesh. There is a swirling sickness in my stomach which heaves and grips my heart. I can barely breathe and Ive been here beforefar too many times.

I marvel at how, in these moments, Zack looks like a child who has not had even an ounce of behavioral therapy, when in fact hes had forty hours a week for over three years. But right now we are trapped inside a steel cabin, suspended thousands of feet in the air, where Zacks behavioral drills are bootless and his primal screams are sucking the very oxygen from the plane. My son has openly, violently lost control in a locked vessel with no ready exit, and Im genuinely beginning to panic.

Do you need us to land the plane? asks an anxious flight attendant.

I cannot answer and am suddenly thrust into motion. Desperately, I try pinning Zacks legs to the cushy seat, but now his arms are flailing, smacking the man in the seat beside us who, with the utmost compassion, calmly readjusts and pretends to keep reading his book. A profound gesture of generosityuntil his book is ruthlessly kicked from his hands and I am now wrestling my son to the ground in the narrow aisle, frantically pinning my entire body against his just to keep him contained.