Ramsey - Pornburger - hot buns and juicy beefcakes

The road to burger porndom hasnt exactly been a straight one, but where would be the fun in that? This book is dedicated to my amazing family and fellow travelers, who have inspired the stack of smut that lays before you. One thing Ive learned along the way is that the makings of a truly great burger come down to the company you share it with. From DC, to San Francisco, to San Sebastingreat burgers, you know who you are, and I love you. LETS EAT .

Without my journey,

And without the spring,

I would have missed this dawn.

SHIKI

Your body is not a temple, its an
amusement park. Enjoy the ride.

ANTHONY BOURDAIN

CONTENTS

Courtesy of Kate Warren

To Eliot Stein and Julyssa Lopez, for the tacos that started it all. Kate Warren, for your willingness to taste as well as shoot. Martin Swift, for your incredible illustrative talents and late-night conversations. Dave Adams, Josie Swantek, Christ Tuss of Run Riot Productions, for your shared vision, outrageous talent, and Hollywood magic. Kate Nerenberg, for copiloting the Bar R experience and buffing glasses like a champ. Eddie Kim, my cocktail spirit guide. Jason Orfranon, Faturday adventurer and waffle lover. AJ Wilhelm, fellow traveler and late-night wizard. Katie Cleary... regards. The rest of my DC family, for your unflinching support. My actual family for... well, everything. Loren Reed, my partner and Aussie Ham-burglar in crime. Steve Troha and Dado Derviskadic of Folio Literary Management, for e-mailing me a second time and for being rockstar agents. Dan Halpern, Bridget Read, and the incredible team at Ecco Books... if I didnt have burger breath, I would kiss you.

Courtesy of Kate Warren

Weve all been there... that singular moment of pure sensory bliss when your toes curl, your eyelids flutter, and you involuntarily release a guttural moan of overwhelming satisfaction and oneness with the universe. Burgers... am I right?! Done well, a good burger can leave you wanting both a cigarette and a confessional. But what is it that defines a burger? Is it as simple as the patty? Or is a burger defined by the company it keeps? Buns. Pickles. Onions. Maybe its more of a feeling. Like loveor smutyou know it when you see it.

Truth be told, I dont have one right answer for you. I just want you on the same page as mehungry and ready to get weird. Lets be honest: No matter what you tell your family, your friends, or your significant other, you didnt pick this book up for the articles and insightful reading. You picked it up because youre a burger pervert, plain and simple. Its OK; I am too. Welcome to the dark side, friend. Welcome to PornBurger.

These arent your grandparents burgers, and with a name like PornBurger, they arent meant to be. Rather, this is an ingredient-driven Choose Your Own Adventurestyle experiment, where all roads lead into the mouth of burger madness. If a life of making burgers has taught me anything, its that burgers come in all shapes and sizes; and a whole world of unique ingredients, recipes, and techniques are just a quick click away. Perfect for the home chef with mad scientist aspirations. In short, the sky is as high as the stack you mack.

This is my burger manifesto for the world at weird. A paint-by-numbers porno, showcasing my much-obsessed-over but never-before-released supply of recipes, along with exclusive sides and beverages to further sweeten the ol honey pot. But enough of this pussyfooting; lets get filthy.

Theres a certain satisfaction in letting your freak flag fly, especially when that flag is a big, pervy burger. This book was very much written in the spirit of coloring outside the lines. As you work your way through this porn rag, I would encourage you to do the same. Each PornBurger recipe contains multitudes of ingredients: Use each Stack and accompanying photo as a guide for re-creating my signature monsters, with components listed in order, from toppings through patty, on down to the bun. Youll find instructions for making the individual Stack elements in the back of the book. If amounts for sauces, cheeses, greens, and other toppings seem sketchy, its because theyre up to youyou can stack each PornBurger to your fantasy specifications. Feel free to cherry-pick components from the Centerfolds, Pantry, and Sidekicks sections for your own twisted fantasies. Be brazen. Be weird. Mani-feast your own destiny!

THE STACK:

SUNFLOWER MICRO GREENS

1 SLICE PAN-FRIED SPAM

TALEGGIO CHEESE

THE STACK:

SEARED

CILANTRO

SLICED GREEN ONIONS

1 SEARED

1 STEAMED BAO BUN

Available at your local Asian grocery store

THE STACK:

GRILLED RED ONIONS

SLICED TOMATO

A FEW SLICES OF CRISP-COOKED APPLEWOOD-SMOKED BACON

SHREDDED ROMAINE LETTUCE

1 SESAME