Looking for Happiness
I N AMERICA, WE ARE entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness .
There is no such expression in France. In fact, in France, the equivalent expression is la recherche du bonheur (looking for happiness). On the surface, this might seem as if I am splitting hairs, but if you really examine the idea of looking for happiness as opposed to pursuing happiness, youll see theres actually a big difference.
If were looking for something, it feels as if its there hiding in plain sight. Its under the table, for instance. And all we have to do is be patient and when the room is quiet, quickly lift up the tablecloth and voil! There it is! Happiness !
On the other hand, pursuing implies a kind of chasing after something. For us, happiness is down the street somewhere, but moving fast. Well have to move even faster. Well have to put on our cross trainers and chase after it, really chase it down, faster than the competition. Maybe well even have to push a few people to the side in our pursuit, until we final wrestle it to the ground and capture it.
Or perhaps we believe we already have happiness, but were a little insecure in our lives and so we want to send out a message to the world. Perhaps well buy a big car and a bigger house to let everyone know, including ourselves that were happy, dammit!
Looking for happiness seems gentler. There is happiness, and we just need to look. Perhaps happiness is sitting there in our garden and is nestled between the green leaves and the fragrant tomatoes. Then again, perhaps we just need to open a few cupboards and take out some nice spices and melt a bit of butter in a pan on the stove. Then again, perhaps happiness is in the eyes of our loved ones and we only need to look, to put on some music, take their hand, and dance. Its not something we can truly own. We certainly cant purchase it.
Isabelle is a thirty-six-year-old Frenchwoman living in Paris. Shes traveled all over the world and she works in personal development. Shes also incredibly articulate and wise beyond her years. I recently met her in Paris and we talked about life and love and family and work. Later, she wrote this about what joie de vivre means to her:
Joie de vivre is about loving life, loving people, loving to be alive, feeling alive. It is about smiling, being in your heart, and being grateful for all the beautiful things in your life: being in good health, being able to hear, to see, to walk, being grateful for all the lovely and loving people (people we know or strangers we meet), being grateful for the nature surrounding us and all that it gives to us. It is to be grateful for the mystery of life, that we are able to live and breathe.... Joie de vivre is about sharing with others, smiling, laughing, making people feel a little less down, feeling useful to one another, making them believe in the future. It is making the choice to be positive.
Joie de vivre is about trusting that nothing happens without a reason, and everything can turn out positive in the future. It is about accepting whats in your life in the moment and feeling contented inside.
This kind of happiness is already within you, and its simply a matter of choosing to embrace the simple beauties of life. Perhaps happiness is right there with you at this very moment. In fact, hes upstairs taking a shower, getting ready for his day and whistling a catchy little tune. Yes, love is joie de vivre .
Laura K. Lawless is a dedicated Francophile behind the Guide to Learn French at About.com , a free website for students, teachers, and lovers of French. Laura is also the author of seven books, most recently Intermediate French for Dummies . Shes lived in the South of France with her husband since 2008. This is what she tells me about joie de vivre:
I think of joie de vivre as optimism about ones life and the ability to enjoy what you have without worrying too much about what you dont. Finding joy in the everyday isnt necessarily easy, but it helps a lot to share your life with someone you love. I was fortunate enough to meet my husband and partner, in every sense of the word, fifteen years ago, and together we have created a life of adventure, laughter, and joy, even when money, job stress, or the weather all seem to be conspiring to get us down. When we feel too poor to go out to movies and restaurants, we think up cheaper alternatives: we raid the recycling bin for art supplies, make each other scavenger hunts, seek out fancy recipes made from inexpensive food, and reminisce about great trips weve taken and meals weve eaten. We both recognize and appreciate how lucky we are to have each other, and our shared joie de vivre.
So you see, this kind of happiness has nothing to do with how much money you might have in the bank. However, it does have a lot to do with having a big heart and a strong imagination.