Squillaro Tish - HeadTrash!: cleaning out the junk that stands between you and success

Published by Emerald Book Company
Austin, TX
www.emeraldbookcompany.com

Copyright 2013 by HeadTrash, LLC

All rights reserved under all copyright conventions.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

Distributed by Emerald Book Company

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Design and composition by David Wilk of Booktrix and
Creative Management Partners LLC
Cover design by Jason Haker of Jason Haker Designs
Cartoons by Gene Schultz

Publishers Cataloging-In-Publication Data
(Prepared by The Donohue Group, Inc.)

Squillaro, Tish.
HeadTrash!: cleaning out the junk that stands between you and success / Tish Squillaro and Timothy I. Thomas.1st ed.
p.; cm.
Issued also as an ebook.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN: 978-1-937110-51-2
1. LeadershipPsychological aspects. 2. ManagementPsychological aspects. 3. Emotions. 4. Success in business. I. Thomas, Timothy I. II. Title.

HF5386 .S65 2013
658.4/094 2013930125

Part of the Tree Neutral program, which offsets the number of trees consumed in the production and printing of this book by taking proactive steps, such as planting trees in direct proportion to the number of trees used: www.treeneutral.com

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper

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First Edition

To my loving parents, for raising me to be the woman I am, my two beautiful children, Berlyn and Jack and my husband and best friend, Matt, for not only their unconditional love and constant encouragement, but for helping me clean out my trash time and again. You are always my greatest inspiration!

And, a special thank you to Lisa (aka Mrs. Leonard) for her devoted friendship, and for always being my biggest cheerleader!

Tish

To my loving wife, Elaine, for her steadfast support in all seasons. Countless times throughout the years you have believed in me when I did not believe in myself and helped me to accomplish things I never dreamed I could. I am blessed to be your husband.

Tim

Writing HeadTrash was a labor of love that would have been near impossible without the help of a group of wonderful professionals who gave of their time and expertise. We were blessed to work with Alan Sharavsky, whose counsel, wit, and ability to turn a phrase has added immeasurably to the text of the book. We are also grateful to the executives who from their vast storehouse of leadership wisdom and experience contributed to the From the desk of: sections of the book: Phil Clemens, Chairman and CEO Hatfield Quality Meats; Tim Myers, Liquid Hub Lead Partner; Peter Musser, Chairman and CEO of the Musser Group and Chairman Emeritus of Safeguard Scientific; Chris Saridakis, CEO of GSI Commerce; Marta Martinez, AOL Head of Sales Strategies and Operations; and Erika Weinstein, president of Stephen-Bradford Search.

We are also indebted to Hilary Hinzmann, who served us wonderfully as a thought-provoking editor who continually challenged us to be clear in our thinking and writing. We also wish to extend our gratitude for the creative genius of Jason Haker, our cover designer, and Gene Schultz, our illustrator, who continually amazed us with their skills and responsiveness. We would also like to acknowledge our friend and partner, Elliot Levine, whose wise counsel and support has helped us immeasurably in making this book immensely relevant and helpful to our readers.

Finally, we are grateful for all the business leaders who have had the courage to face their HeadTrash and do the courageous work necessary to transform their lives and their businesses.

Youre driving your team to a business meeting during a winter storm. The salt trucks havent gotten to this part of the road yet. Everyone is crawling, trying to maintain momentum without sliding out of control. You become irritated by others over-cautiousness and lack of speed. You see no need to adjust your driving to accommodate a little bit of snow. Youre coming up to a red light, so you pump the brakes. As you reach the intersection, your car skids to a stop, just missing the car in front of you.

Your forward motion is gone, but at least youre in a safe spot and didnt hit anyone. You wait, the light changes to green, and you tap forcefully on the gas pedal. Your wheels start spinning; youre stuck in a quagmire of slush, ice, and snow! You press hard on the gas, spewing snow and ice and digging yourself into a deeper hole. The cars behind you are also stuck, their drivers fearful of what youll do next. Yet the cars to the left and right of you are slowly making their way forward, including many you passed on the road earlier.

Why did you get stuck? Was it arrogance, assuming you could handle the weather and did not need to slow down? Insecurity about how your team might judge your driving? Or fear of the clients reaction if you are late for your meeting? You cant move forward, and you surely cant go back. You try again and again, but the wheels just spin. Every time you hit the gas, your team gets more nervous. Soon theyre asking: Should we call a tow truck? Should we get out and push? If we can get going again, is there a better route to take the rest of the way? Youre irritated, and you begin to worry that you wont get to your meeting at all. Missing the meeting will be bad. But maybe youve got a bigger problem junk in your head that is causing you to make poor decisions like driving without regard for the weather and road conditions or the attitude and opinions of your team.

Getting stuck on the snowy, icy road is typical of how your days have been going. Youre expending energy, lots of it, but not making progress. Even though youre frustrated and know something is out of sync, you cant seem to change the situation. Each day youre becoming a little more anxious, which is making you less productive and more concerned about the future. You know something has to change. Youre just not sure what it is.

Why do executives get stuck? Why do leaders sometimes find themselves pushing hard but not gaining traction? Frequently its because theyre working against themselves, defeating their best efforts with their own problematic thoughts and emotions.

In this book, we refer to thought patterns and emotional tendencies that hinder your ability to respond to business issues in a productive and professional way as HeadTrash. Put another way, HeadTrash is the negative voice of your subconscious, engaging you in a deadly inner dialogue that only you hear, consciously or subconsciously, but which affects everything you say and do and everyone around you. HeadTrash is any pattern of self-defeating feelings and thoughts that leads you into trouble and keeps you stuck there. Even worse, depending on your level of responsibility and authority, the rest of your team or company gets stuck, too.