Squillaro Tish - HeadTrash 2: dealing with and overcoming other peoples junk

Published by Greenleaf Book Group Press

Austin, Texas

www.gbgpress.com

Copyright 2016 HeadTrash LLC

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the copyright holder.

Distributed by Greenleaf Book Group

For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Greenleaf Book Group at PO Box 91869, Austin, TX 78709, 512.891.6100.

Design and composition by Greenleaf Book Group

Cover design by Jason Haker

Cartoons Concept by Alan Sharavsky and Illustrations by Jaki Katz Ashford

Cataloging-in-Publication data is available.

Print ISBN: 978-1-62634-274-3

eBook ISBN: 978-1-62634-275-0

Part of the Tree Neutral program, which offsets the number of trees consumed in the production and printing of this book by taking proactive steps, such as planting trees in direct proportion to the number of trees used: www.treeneutral.com

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper

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First Edition

DEDICATION

To my family, friends, and colleagues who have allowed me to probe and capture the inner workings around HeadTrash and who have shared how it has impacted their lives and the lives of those around them. It has been a wonderful experience building HeadTrash 2 because of its amazing focus on working with others, and because it has deepened my relationships with each of you. Thank you for letting me learn through you.

To my beautiful children, Berlyn and Jack, for teaching me new things about life and love all the time, and my soul mate and love, Matt, who so graciously deals with all my junk!

Tish

To my coaching clients over the years who have courageously faced their HeadTrash and done the difficult work to transform their lives and careers.

It has been an honor and privilege to be inspired by you.

Tim

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

We wish to acknowledge a talented group of professionals who were integral in helping us develop this book.

As with our first book, we were delighted to work with Alan Sharavsky, who continues to amaze us with his ability to bring humor and creative insight to the concept of HeadTrash.

We are grateful to our colleague Penny Zenker who contributed her invaluable expertise as a strategic business coach and productivity expert to the pages of this book.

We were blessed to work with Hilary Hinzmann, our thought-provoking editor, whose commitment to excellence strengthened our thinking and our writing.

We also wish to thank Jason Haker, our cover designer, and Jaki Katz Ashford, our illustrator, for creatively capturing the themes of HeadTrash in their work.

It is also important to acknowledge our clients and friends who have courageously faced their HeadTrash and helped others to do the same.

CONTRIBUTORS

In writing this second volume of the HeadTrash series, we have benefited from the contributions of co-author Alan Sharavsky (he also co-authored the first volume) and fellow consultant Penny Zenker.

Alan Sharavsky, Co-Author

Before Alan Sharavsky joined our team, HeadTrash was just a concept, a journey minus a map. As co-author, Alan Sharavsky turned our experiences and strategies into the engaging and practical prose that became our book, and he has done the same for this one as well. Hes been a valuable contributor to the Head-Trash enterprise. Alan is the author of Boarding School Bastard, a memoir about his childhood at Girard College, an orphanage for fatherless boys. Hes also written and produced for numerous TV networks and publications, including Viacom, Discovery Channel, the Philadelphia Inquirer, NPR affiliate WHYY, and AdWeek. In his day job, Alan is president of Sharavsky Communications, a full service advertising, PR, and digital marketing services company that has worked with brands such as Tylenol, Splenda, The Philadelphia 76ers, and Hollywood Casino.

Penny Zenker, Strategic Business Coach and Productivity Expert

Few know how to help people make the most of their time like Penny Zenker. Shes the creator of the P10: Productivity Accelerator System, a time and energy management system that teaches people about the 10 Core Drivers of Productivity: purpose, language, physiology, focus, planning, process, priority, progress, measurement, and proactivity. A productivity expert, business coach, international speaker and trainer, radio personality, and author, she embodies the word productive! Weve invited Penny to comment throughout the book in sections entitled Pennys Perspective, to give you another point of view from a premier business coach on the effects of HeadTrash and how best to overcome them.

INTRODUCTION

Recognizing HeadTrash in Yourself and Others

How to take out someone elses garbage

Ideally everybody should take out their own trash, including dealing with the mental junk that all too readily accumulates in peoples heads. We call this mental junk HeadTrash, ways of thinking and feeling that, left unchecked, lead to counterproductive behaviors. Life is not ideal, however, and reality often dictates that we have to deal with the garbage in someone elses head. How often have you experienced something like the following?

Handle with care.

That was the phrase running through your mind like a car alarm every second you spent drafting the new proposal for your boss. Not that you could ever afford to be laissez faire, or simply lazy, working for such a demanding and brilliant woman. But this particular statement of work had seven figures attached to it, making it crucial that you dotted every i, crossed every t, and spotted anything that could be misread or seemed askew. This was the biggest project youd been involved with to date for the company, and you would be presenting it shoulder to shoulder with your boss. You had an extra-vested interest in getting it right, especially as youd be strutting your stuff at the presentation to demonstrate your value.

Which is why it was so odd that the part of the presentation your boss had drafted misinterpreted a client request during the discovery phase of the assignment. After you double and triple checked your notes, and then queried someone else who was at the meeting, you were certain the section needed to be changed. That meant telling your boss of just five months that she was wrong. Not wanting to shine a brighter spotlight on the problem than necessary, you decided to wait until your scheduled meeting to review the whole document with her.

Section by section, point by point, the two of you walked through the proposal until you landed on the passage in question. You took a breath and said, I think we may have misconstrued something here. It doesnt seem to line up with the rest of the proposal. So I drafted an alternate version of this section, just in case. You made a point to emphasize the word we to share the responsibility, hoping it would soften the blow.

She was having none of it: I dont think so. I clearly recall the way they described this, and I would think Id know the best way to present it. Lets leave it as I wrote it.

Expecting the pushback, you played the new-employee-in-search-of-wisdom card and said, Of course, but would you take a second to review what I wrote, just for my understanding?