Melissa Croce - Single and Forced to Mingle: A Guide for (Nearly) Any Socially Awkward Situation

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Copyright 2020 by Melissa Croce

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First Atria Books hardcover edition January 2021

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Cover design and illustration by Ella Laytham

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Croce, Melissa, author.

Title: Single and forced to mingle : a guide for (nearly) any socially awkward situation / Melissa Croce.

Description: First Atria Books hardcover edition. | New York : Atria Books, 2020. | Summary: A laugh-out-loud, tongue-in-cheek guidebook filled with hilarious and helpful advice-from how to dodge family members unwanted questions about babies to successfully creating a fake partner during wedding season-for anyone trying to survive and thrive in the midst of singledomProvided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020033733 (print) | LCCN 2020033734 (ebook) | ISBN 9781982144340 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781982144357 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Single peopleLife skills guides. | Single peopleHumor. | Interpersonal relations.

Classification: LCC HQ800 .C888 2020 (print) | LCC HQ800 (ebook) | DDC 646.7/0086/52dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020033733

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020033734

ISBN 978-1-9821-4434-0

ISBN 978-1-9821-4435-7 (ebook)

To my mom, Chris, who is one of the very few people in my life who has never once asked me about my dating life. That is just the cherry on top of all of the many things that I love and appreciate about you.

S o, youre single. Thats why youre reading this book, right? (Im not saying that if youre in a relationship you cant read this, but also, why would you want to??) Whether youre newly single or have been on this solo journey for a while, Im glad youre here! Really. After a couple of long-term relationships, I found myself single for the first time in a while, and I soon realized, after the heartache faded, that the fact of the matter is this: Being. Single. Is. Awesome. Its been a few years since that epiphany and Ive been single ever since, 100 percent by choice. Im sure there are some of you reading this who think Im full of shit, but hopefully some of you are also thinking, Girl, same, or even, Thank God Im not the only one who feels this way.

A couple of years ago, I jokingly made a brochure to hand out to relatives at my cousins wedding that included a snarky choose your own adventuretype chart about why I was single, and it went viral on Twitter. What really surprised me, though, were the responses: across gender, sexual orientation, culture, and religion, people felt the same way I did: dread at navigating social events as a single person. Not only was I not the only person to feel this way, but, in an era in which people are marrying much later in life, if at all, there were actually quite a lot of us! Being single is normal, common, and not an indicator of something being Wrong with us.

Maybe you dont want to be single (which is a totally valid stance!). Maybe you do want to be single because youre focused on other things, or are aro and/or ace and dont want to have any romantic or sexual relationships, or maybe youre just like me, and are perfectly happy Doing Life on your own (also all valid!). But regardless of how you feel about your Single Status, there are a lot of people out thereyour mom, your (married) best friend, your aunt Carol, societywho might make you feel bad about it, whether they mean to or not. To them, being single isnt something to aspire to or be content with, its something to be avoided, and that can make interacting with those people Annoying, to put it mildly. And as much as you might want to, you cant avoid all of those people (or society) forever.

Enter: Single and Forced to Mingle. Part semiserious how-to guide and part commiserator-in-crime, Single and Forced to Mingle is (meant to be) a humorous look at the life of a single millennial, including: giving tips on how to graciously endure the various scenarios in which single people find themselves (awkward small talk with an ex, navigating well-meaning but insensitive relatives at a wedding, and many more); what every newly single person needs to know; and arguments about why, actually, being single is really freaking awesome.

No matter how you may feel about Singledom, this book is for all of us. As I said before, being Single is the best. Even if you dont believe me now, I hope by the end of the book, you do! (Or at the very least, you can pass this along to your aunt Carol, who will read it and hopefully stop making comments on when youre going to settle down and pop out babies!)

Good luck,

Melissa

I. Singledom: A Starter Pack

Think of being a single person in the world as a hero going out on a long journey. There are things that one needs in order to successfully survive relatively unscathed in this dark world of meddling relatives and constant, excessive PDA by couples everywhere. But stick with me, and Ill show you how to not only survive but thrive!

THE QUINTESSENTIAL WARDROBE OF A SINGLE PERSON WHO IS FORCED TO MINGLE

• Sunglasses: This doesnt apply if its dark or youre inside, because youre not a dick, but if you have to mingle at something like an outdoor wedding or pre-sunset happy hour, sunglasses are great armorthe more darkly tinted the better! If theyre completely opaque, you can feel free to roll your eyes to your hearts content at whatever ridiculous sentence second cousin Randy had the nerve to utter.
• Stunning Jewelry and/or Watch: The tactic of wearing something ranging from merely eye-catching to outrageously gaudy will guarantee that at least one person, if not more than a few, will comment on this showstopping accessory, and thus perhaps wont ask you (at least immediately) about your love life. (You can also take this time to make up an outlandish tale about how you acquired said accessory, which could be fun and help pass the time.)
• An Oldie but Goodie Wardrobe Staple: Now is not the time to be a showstopper, no matter how tempting. Do not do Rent the Runway or order a new Stitch Fix box, because even if you impress these people with whatever you get, you probably wont feel very comfortable wearing it. New clothes can be exciting, but nothing beats wearing your favorite outfit that you know looks good on you. You know the oneyou always receive compliments when you wear it; it doesnt pull or tug or stretch in any way you dont want it to; and best of all, its an outfit that doesnt make you look good, it looks good because youre wearing it.