Caitlin Fisher - The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation

Praise for
The Gaslighting of the Millen nial Generation

The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation systematically debunks most of the medias oversimplifying claims about our ge neration.

Caroline Beaton, journalist for Forbes , Psychology Today , and The Huffi ngton Post

This is a must-read for anyone who wants a better understanding of the betrayal of a generation told they could be anything if they worked hard, only to be mocked and shamed as the American Dream slips further from their grasp. Its time to listen, rather than blame the me ssengers.

Melanie Childers, Master Certified Confid ence Coach

So often media outlets throw my generation in my face as the ruiners of life, which makes Caitlin Fishers book necessary, among other things. Her musings are relatable, her writing style is hilarious, and her unwavering support of Millennials makes me proud to be one. Kudos to her for offering up her personal insights as a connector for so ma ny of us.

Nina Rossi, founder, Brigh t Thoughts

Millennials are killing it. Its time we stopped blaming them and started thanking them. Caitlin Fisher explains why in this insightful, relata ble book.

L. S. Quinn, founder, Readin g Room CLE

A true Millennial, Fisher built an accidentally viral blog post into a full-length book packed with humor, insight, and call-outs. The artful way she weaves personal anecdotes into data analysis gives the reader a true glance into why so many Millennials are killing society as we know it.

Jess Reed, teacher, autho rs sister

The
Gaslighting
of the Millennial Generation

The
Gaslighting
of the Millennial Generation

How to Succeed in a Society
That Blames You for
Everything Gone Wrong

Caitlin Fisher

Mango Publishing

Coral Gables

Copyright 2019 Caitlin Fisher

Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.

Cover Design: Roberto Nez

Layout & Design: Roberto Nez

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The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation: How to Succeed in a Society That Blames You for Everything Gone Wrong

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2019935675

ISBN: (print) 978-1-63353-884-9, (ebook) 978-1-63353-885-6

BISAC category code: SOC022000 SOCIAL SCIENCE / Popular Culture

Printed in the United States of America

To Jess.

You are my hero and my be st friend.
Im sorry about th e chalupa.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Or Who the Hell Are You and Why Should I Read Your Book?

H ello there! Im Caitlin Fisher, you probably dont know me, and Im fed up with everyone saying Millennials are entitled brats. In 2016, Id been kicking this idea of generational gaslighting around in my head for months, and it finally made it out of my brain and onto my blog. And it turned out that over a million people found that I had finally said the thing they couldnt quite put their finger on. And now it s a book!

Lets be real: It is total bullshit that our generation was raised being told we could do anything but then blamed for everything wrong with society. Were just doing our best, people. Sometimes with three jobs and no health insurance! In my early twenties, I was divorced, living with my parents, on food stamps, with a masters degree and a resume that was getting no bites.

Masters degree. Food stamps. Fifty grand in student debt. This is a real thing that happens. And when we say, Whoa, you guys told me a masters degree would help with my career and that this was good debt! they say, Um, sweetie, whyd you take out loans if you couldnt afford it? This sounds like a you problem.

This book is a new take on self-help. Its not one of those think positive to find money and true happiness books. Its more of a guide to untangling the mess in your head and realizing youre not crazy for expecting more out of life or for being disappointed that you seem to be putting in a lot of work for no reward. Each chapter can be taken on its own or read in succession and will end with a recap section with actionable tips and advice you can browse at you r leisure.

So thats the short version of why this book is in your hand. Because so many of us are sick of being pointed at and called whiners, so many of us are tired of explaining to our parents that no, really, you cant just go pound the pavement to get a job, and so many of us are just pl ain tired.

I promise youre not crazy.

Also, there are eleven avocado references in this book that I hope you enjoy.

Preview

The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation

A t a graduate student conference, I first heard the term Millennial. As in, practices for faculty and staff to best handle this generation of students. I went in having never heard the term and came out feeling defensive against the notion that an entire generation of young adults had to be handled, with prevailing knowledge like Millennials need participation trophies, Millennials are sheltered, and Millennials are hard to w ork with.

Society loves to hate the Millennial Generation (those born between 1980 and 2000), calling us special snowflakes and sarcastically referring to us as social justice warriors, calling us out for being offended by everything and, everybodys favorite, pointing out how very entitl ed we are.

Heres the secret: Were not.

The negative opinions directed at Millennials are a perfect example of gaslighting, on a socie tal scale.

A Primer on Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation, making someone question their own sanity or the validity of their experiences through a combination of outright lies, denial of things that have happened, and generally questioning the subjects thought processes. This boils down to the end result of the victim thinking theyre wrong or crazy for feeling the way they do. At its core, its an emotional abu se tactic.

Have you ever gotten into an argument with a parent, boss, or romantic partner about something that upset you, but by the end of the argument, youve become the one apologizing for some wrongdoing? This is often a result of gaslighting. Gaslighters flip it around and become the victim, and your original feelings never get resolved because the conversation always descends into the other persons victimization. Eventually you stop challenging th em at all.

Imagine a similar scenario where you are applying for a job, but the job requires a college degree, and you cant pay for a college degree without a job, so you end up taking out massive loans. When you graduate, you cant get a job without experience. So you take a minimum wage job (or three) to make ends meet, often while working for free in a field related to your major to get a foot in the door. You dare to utter something like, The minimum wage needs to be raised, people cant live like this, only to receive a barrage of crotchety elders yelling at you about how they got a college education working part-time and how its your fault for taking out the loans in the fi rst place.