Roberta Chinsky Matuson - Can We Talk?: Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations at Work

Everything you need to know about communication and relationship building at work is right here! Solid insights and practical advice from one of the worlds leading authorities on executive coaching and employee engagement.

Marshall Goldsmith, New York Times #1 bestselling author of Triggers, Mojo, and What Got You Here Wont Get You There

Who doesnt cringe when they hear the words Can we talk? And yet the truth is, those conversations wed prefer to avoid are essential. I love how Roberta Chinsky Matuson clearly guides us through the process of finding our voice so we can say what most needs to be said. This book is invaluable for leadersor for anyone who works.

Sally Helgesen, author of How Women Rise, The Female Vision, and The Web of Inclusion

If you want to keep your employees, then youve got to get them talking. Roberta Chinsky Matusons book will do just that. With memorable stories and examplesincluding the authors own firsthand experiences of difficult conversations quickly going southCan We Talk? provides readers with tools to actively build better relationships up, down, and across the organization.

Dr. Beverly Kaye, co-author of Love Em or Lose Em and Up Is Not the Only Way

Theres nothing more important in business than the ability to communicate effectively with those above, below, and across from you. In Can We Talk?, Roberta Chinsky Matuson provides readers with a game-changing framework to help them safely navigate through any tough work conversation, while successfully building strong relationships along the way.

Laura Huang, international bestselling author of Edge and professor at Harvard Business School

If youve been holding back from saying what needs to be said at work, Can We Talk? is the book for you. No topic is off the table here. This is a must-read for business owners, leaders, and employees looking to find their voice and power up their communication skills.

Dorie Clark, author of Reinventing You and executive education faculty at Duke University Fuqua School of Business

One of our six core values at Saxbys is Care Personally and Communicate Openlysimply because we know how critical, yet difficult, human communication can be. Roberta Chinsky Matusons book does a fantastic job identifying both the importance of actually having difficult conversations while also providing the guidance to have them effectively.

Nick Bayer, Founder and CEO, Saxbys

This book is essential reading for anyone looking to improve their work relationships and build trust through more effective communication. Can We Talk? is one of those books that youll refer to time and time again.

Jenn Mann, Chief Human Resources Officer, SAS

Can We Talk? is a fast-pass framework to help you move past one-sided conversations, better your career, and achieve a more humanistic workplace.

Marlene Chism, author of From Conflict to Courage

Where was Can We Talk? when I needed it most? All those well-meaning but frequently awkward conversations that could have been better for all if I had read this. Roberta Chinsky Matuson proves once again that she is the subject matter expert.

Julie Kahn, President, Regan Communications

Roberta Chinsky Matuson has done it again! I find myself wishing Id had this book when I was a new professional. Matusons practical approach and no-nonsense language makes this the playbook for improving employee performance. Her planned approach is sure to make giving tough messages a lot easierand that is the first step to ensuring your employees are exceeding your expectations.

Jay Hargis, First Vice President, Learning and Development Officer, Apple Bank

Can We Talk? gives managers and individual contributors a comprehensive toolbox on how to handle difficult conversations in a productive and constructive manner and elevate performance and employee engagement. Its a must-read for anyone who wants to be successful in their career.

Polina Ware, PhD, Global R&D/TS&D Director, Rogers Corporation

Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations at Work

Roberta Chinsky Matuson

To my husband, Ron, who has willingly
(and sometimes unwillingly) said Yes
whenever Ive started a conversation with,
Can we talk?
Your support in writing this book means the world to me.
And to our children, Zachary and Lexi.
I hope this book will guide you safely through
the many difficult work conversations you may encounter
as you begin your journey into the world of work.
Lastly, this book is for my late mom, Jeanette,
who gave me the gift of gab.

For more than twenty-five years, Roberta Matuson, president of Matuson Consulting, has helped leaders in highly regarded companies, including General Motors, Takeda, and Microsoft, and small- to medium-size businesses, achieve dramatic growth and market leadership through the maximization of talent.

Shes the author of five books, including Evergreen Talent: How to Seed, Cultivate, and Grow a Sustainable Workforce and the international bestseller Suddenly in Charge: Managing Up, Managing Down, Succeeding All Around, a Washington Post Top 5 Business Book for Leaders.

Roberta is also a LinkedIn Top Voice in Workplace and Leadership and the author of seven LinkedIn Learning courses. Her courses can also be found on Skillsoft, MentorBox, and Knowable.

Roberta is one of a handful of people who have appeared as a guest of Bill OReilly on Foxs OReilly Factor and who left the show unscathed.

You can reach out directly to Roberta Matuson at Roberta@robertamatuson.com. Connect with her on LinkedIn and follow her on Twitter @matuson.

This book would not have been possible without the support of my agent, Linda Konner, who worked her magic to secure a book deal on my behalf during a pandemic. Im incredibly grateful for your tenacity.

Thank you to my editors, Kathe Sweeny and Heather Wood, who helped shape this book, and the staff at Kogan Page. Your suggestions and encouragement along the way were greatly appreciated.

Id also like to acknowledge my mentor, Alan Weiss, whose guidance has served me well over the years. Your constant push for me to think bigger has resulted in the completion of book number six.

Lastly, a big thank you also goes out to my colleagues, Hugh Blane, Gail Bower, Graham Binks, Noah Fleming, and Lisa Larter. I listen way more than you may think and am grateful for your advice and friendship.

The Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations

How Did We Get Here?

The year was 1993, and the day started like any other. I commuted into downtown Boston and rode the elevator up to my office, ready to face a new workweek. Little did I know, that on this day my life was about to change. Before going into more detail here, let me set the stage for what I thought for sure was a dreamwell, more like a nightmare.

Back in the early 90s, I was stuck in a job that I didnt love and worked for a boss who made the fictional character of mean boss Miranda Priestly, played by Meryl Steep in the movie