RIVERHEAD BOOKS
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Copyright 2022 by Ryan North
Illustrations copyright 2022 by Carly Monardo
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Parts of Chapter 7 have been previously published in different form as Heres Why You Should Never Trust a Computer on Medium in 2018.
The data used for the life expectancy chart in Chapter 8 from Our World in Data, licensed via CC BY-SA 3.0 AU (creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/au/legalcode).
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: North, Ryan, 1980- author. | Monardo, Carly, 1984- illustrator.
Title: How to take over the world : practical schemes and scientific solutions for the aspiring supervillain / Ryan North ; illustrated by Carly Monardo.
Description: New York : Riverhead Books, [2022]
Identifiers: LCCN 2021048518 | ISBN 9780593192016 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593192030 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Science. | Supervillains. | Comic books, strips, etc.Humor.
Classification: LCC Q172 .N67 2022 | DDC 502/.07dc23/eng/20211110
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021048518
International edition ISBN: 9780593541531
Cover design: Gregg Kulick
Cover images: (person at desk) H. Armstrong Roberts / ClassicStock / Getty Images; (monster) CSA Images / Getty Images
book design by lucia bernard, adapted for ebook by maggie hunt
pid_prh_6.0_139413221_c0_r0
For Lex, Victor, Erik, and Dr. Isley
Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as to not need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.
ARISTOTLE, POLITICS (350 BCE)
Oft have I diggd up dead men from their graves,
And set them upright at their dear friends doors,
Even when their sorrows almost were forgot;
And on their skins, as on the bark of trees,
Have with my knife carved in Roman letters,
Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.
Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things
As willingly as one would kill a fly,
And nothing grieves me heartily indeed
But that I cannot do ten thousand more.
famed playwright william shakespeare
(Okay, fine: the character of Aaron in Titus Andronicus , written by famed playwright William Shakespeare)
DISCLAIMER
This is a book about the edges of science, the limits of whats currently possible thanks to the technology that humans have already invented or are currently inventing, and the open questions that, once answered, will turn whats left of the impossible into the possible. It identifies hitherto unexploited weaknesses in our global civilization: cultural, historical, and technological blind spots that leave humanity susceptible to the maneuvering of a sufficiently motivated individual, one able to seize these opportunities to reshape the very fate of humanity itself.
In other words, this is a book of nonfiction about becoming a literal supervillain and taking over the world.
Normally here Id add a dont try this at home, but just to be safe: dont try this anywhere.
INTRODUCTION
Hello and Thank You for Reading My Book About World Domination
Being brilliants not enough... you have to work hard. Intelligence is not a privilege, its a gift, and you use it for the good of mankind.
Dr. Otto Octavius, a.k.a. Doctor Octopus, in Spider-Man 2 (2004)
A supervillain is normally considered the bad guy. I should know, Ive written enough of them.
A big part of my work at companies like Marvel and DC Comics is to come up with new schemes for the villains. Whether Im writing a wild and capricious ancient god, an undead wizard, a malevolent alien, a sinister warlord, a genius billionaire, a hunter of humans, or the greatest supervillain of them all (Doctor Doom), they all need to reach for new and ever-more-audacious heights of supervillainy each and every month. And in order to sell the stakes of their stories to the reader, these schemes need to be credible. More than credible, actually: these heists have to really work... right up to the moment when they suddenly dont.
The truth of superhero comicsand this is common knowledgeis that no matter how hard the villains try, no matter how perilously close their schemes come to working, they will always be foiled at the last second, when the heroes dig deep and find some previously unknown well of strength or cleverness or compassion or robot suits. This follows the only universal law of storytelling: the closer the heroes come to losingthe more it seems that maybe this time the villain really will winthe more satisfying the heroes victory will be. This law is so powerful that it applies to reality as much as it does to fiction: a lopsided hockey game is dull, but a hockey final where your team comes from behind in the last period and wins with a single dramatic shot in double overtime is anything but.
Like I said: common knowledge.
But whats uncommon knowledge is that if you take that universal law of storytelling and combine it with the fact that Marvel and DC are owned by the Walt Disney Company and AT&Ts Warner Media LLC, respectively, then you uncover a terrifying truth. Two of the most powerful multinational corporations on the planet have spent decades, in plain sight, paying some of the most creative people alive today to design increasingly credible world-domination schemesand these schemes have been thwarted only by