Karen Bornemann Spies - Everything You Need to Know about Grieving (Revised edition)
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Everything You Need to Know about Grieving (Revised edition)
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Published in 1990, 1993, 1997 by The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc. 29 East 21st Street, New York, New York 10010
Copyright 1990, 1993, 1997 by The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc.
Revised Edition 1997
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer.
Manufactured in the United States of America.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Spies, Karen Bornemann. Everything you need to know about grieving / Karen Spies. (The need to know library) Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8239-2623-0 1. BereavementPsychological aspectsJuvenile literature. 2. Loss (Psychology)Juvenile literature. I. Title. II. Series. BF575.G7S65 1990 155.9'37dc20 90-36541 CIP AC
Page 5
Contents
Introduction
6
1. What Is the "Right Way" To Grieve?
9
2. Working Through Grief
15
3. Talking About Death
21
4. A Death in the Family
29
5. When A Parent Dies
33
6. She Was Too Young To Die
41
7. I Didn't Get To Say Good-bye
45
8. What Happens After a Death?
49
9. Recovering from Grief
55
GlossaryExplaining New Words
60
Where to Go for Help
61
For Further Reading
62
Index
63
Page 6
Introduction
Grief is a feeling of deep sadness caused by an important loss or change in your life. You grieve when you lose someone you love or something that is important to you whether it is a parent, a brother or sister, a friend, or a pet. While the most painful losses often result from the death of a loved one, people also grieve when they experience misfortune. This can happen when parents divorce or a best friend moves far away.
Everyone experiences loss at some time. When a loved one dies, you experience many different feelings. These feelings may include shock, disbelief, numbness, anger, depression, embarrassment, and guilt. Whether you experience some or all of these emotions depends
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on your unique situation. Each person experiences death and loss in a different way.
Grieving for the first time can make you wonder how you should behave. You may ask yourself, "Is it okay to cry?" "Who can I talk to?" ''Why don't I feel anything?" ''How long am I going to feel this way?" If you know someone else who is grieving, you may wonder how you should act toward him or her. All these difficult questions will be discussed in this book.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. But there are some ways that may help you through the grieving process. For example, it is helpful to let out your feelings, no matter how sad or hurt you feel. Death and loss are not easy subjects to talk about, but sharing your feelings with someone you love and trust will help ease the pain.
You will also need to take care of yourself in order to recover from the loss. It's easy to forget that you need to eat well, get enough sleep, and enjoy life again after someone you love has died.
Remember that your grief will decrease over time. While there is no time limit for grief, you will begin to feel better one day. You may get upset from time to time, but the overwhelming feelings that come directly after a loss will gradually fade.
Once you understand the grieving process, you will be more prepared to cope with the confusion and pain that come when you lose someone you love.
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Losing a loved member of the family is a great shock.
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