Chiquis Rivera - Unstoppable: How I Found My Strength Through Love and Loss

Unstoppable

Chiquis Rivera

New York Times bestselling author of Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Perdn (Spanish)

Chiquis Keto

Chiquis Keto (Spanish)

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First Atria Books hardcover edition February 2022

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Jacket design by Min Choi

Jacket photograph Emilio Sanchez

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Rivera, Chiquis, author. | Molinari, Cecilia, author.

Title: Unstoppable : how I found my strength through love and loss / Chiquis Janney Rivera, with Cecilia Molinari.

Description: First Atria books hardcover edition. | New York : Atria Books, 2022.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021043858 (print) | LCCN 2021043859 (ebook) | ISBN 9781982180683 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781982180690 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Rivera, Chiquis. | SingersUnited StatesBiography. | MothersDeath. | Conduct of life. | LCGFT: Autobiographies.

Classification: LCC ML420.R64 A3 2022 (print) | LCC ML420.R64 (ebook) | DDC 782.42164092 [B]dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021043858

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021043859

ISBN 978-1-9821-8068-3

ISBN 978-1-9821-8069-0 (ebook)

I dedicate this book to YOU. I hope it inspires and empowers you. Through pain, loss, and love, may you find the best version of yourself.

I n December 2012, my world came to a standstill with the sudden loss of my momma. I was left gasping for air, wondering if life was still worth living without her. But there was no real time to grieve, no space to make sense of this sudden and excruciating void shed left behind because my brothers and sisters needed me. So I sprang into action to help piece back some sense of family for the five of us. I knew thats what my momma wouldve wanted. I had to help heal their bleeding heartsmine would have to wait. Thats when I wrote my first book, Forgiveness. In those pages, I felt the need to share my story, to clear the air, to tell my truth. It also gave me the chance to forgive others, forgive myself, and pick up the broken pieces of my life. But what happened after that?

Having to continue life without the force of nature that was Jenni Rivera at times felt paralyzing. Stepping into her shoes and taking on a mother figure role for my youngest brother and sister, Johnny and Jenicka, was a challenge on its own. But giving up was not an option. In these pages, I share with you the lessons that taught me how to stand on my own two feet like never before. This is my journey from nerve-rattled singer to Grammy-winning performer, from first-time business owner to full-blown Boss Bee entrepreneur; its how I navigated the turmoil of my relationships, how I figured out the balance between satisfying my familys needs while no longer putting my own dreams on hold, and how I became a wife and then watched it all crumble before my eyes.

Yeah, Ive been through hell and back a few times, but Im still standing. I survived. I figured it out. I learned that nothing and no one will ever stop me from following my heart and my dreams, and becoming the best version of myself possible. Unstoppable is a new chance to speak the truth about the last five years of my life, but its also my chance to inspire you. No matter what you face, no matter what people say, no matter how defeated you may feel, Im living proof that we have the power to get back up, dust ourselves off, and become unstoppable.

1 SURVIVING LOSS AND DEVASTATION

A n eerie feeling crept over me as the long and fiery days of summer softened into the nostalgic autumnal glow of 2020. I usually love this time of year, when the weather begins to turn and the crisp, cool nights beg for me to do a deep dive into my closet and pull out the sweaters and cozy layers that have been patiently waiting for their seasonal turn. But this time, it was different. My heart was fractured. Simple day-to-day activities demanded every last ounce of strength I carried in my exhausted mind and body. As I switched off the lights in my home and slowly walked upstairs to my bedroom, I just couldnt shake this feeling, a dj vu of sorts, that I was reliving the fall of 2012 all over again. After brushing my teeth, washing my face, and mindlessly motioning through the rest of my nightly routine, I climbed into my king-size bed, curled up under the soft white covers with my fluffy pillow, and then slowly turned to the empty spot beside me. My stomach tied up in a thousand knots and the agonizing pressure on my chest was unbearable. I felt so alone.

I had already survived the worst possible unimaginable loss. The pillar in my life, the one person I had relied on, trusted, adored, and forgiven beyond the grave, was long gone. And now, the person I believed was my soul mate, my ride or die, the one who vowed to love and cherish me, was gone too. Surely Id get through this type of crushing devastation again. My mind was telling me that Id been through worse, that I could and would handle this too, but somehow I was back to square one emotionally. WTF? How did I get here?

After my mom passed away in a plane accident on December 9, 2012, it was as if someone had said Kill the lights in my life. I patted my bleeding heart dry and blubbered through that first year, trying to figure out how to fill the gaping hole she left in our family.

Do you guys ever wonder what Momma is doing? I asked my brothers and sisters during our first sibling getaway about a year after she passed.

In honor of a promise wed made to take a yearly family vacation, I rented an RV and invited my brothers and sisters on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. In the past year, I had dealt with anger, frustration, and excruciating pain, and then I forgave I vowed not to hold any resentment toward those who hurt or left me, I gracefully accepted all that had gone down, as I detailed in my first book, Forgiveness, and reconciled with the idea that, although I didnt quite understand why the glue that kept us together was gone, I knew it was up to me, as the eldest sibling, the one who had already been taking care of my brothers and sisters throughout their lives, to step into my moms shoes and push us forward.