Kimberly Wolf - Talk with Her: A Dads Essential Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident, and Capable Daughters

Kimmy, the waterfalls are the fullest theyve been in years. We have to go see them!

Yosemite is my dads idea of paradise. He loves national parks and waterfalls, and Yosemite checks both of those boxes in grand fashion. Growing up in rural Illinois, it was one of the first places in California he ever visited, and he remains captivated by its majesty. One of my favorite memories of all time was this father-daughter road trip we took there together.

We left LA and headed up the 5 toward the mountains. My dad staked out Dairy Queens on the route, a childhood ritual of his. We listened to the Beach Boys and a bunch of nineties one-hit wonders, the soundtrack to many of our special times together. We chatted, and I sang along with the playlist while he listened.

We started to see signs for the outlet stores, and my dad had another idea.

Kimmy, what if we stop at the Polo outletalso one of his favorite placesand get matching outfits? Then we can take matching pictures all over the Valley floor!

I looked at him. That would be awesome, Dad. I would love that! So we took the exit. He bought us matching mint-green pullover sweatshirts. Then he got carried away and bought us matching baseball hats in one of the gift shops at the park, and we spent three glorious days in Yosemite hiking around, marveling at the waterfalls, having father-daughter dinners in the old lodges, and finding kind strangers to take pictures of us in our coordinated gear.

I was thirty-three years old.

I would never have gone along with this as a teenagerI was way too cool. However, Ive come to realize that it was all the groundwork my dad laid when I was younger, it was his powering through some challenging adolescent years with me, keeping our talks going and building our connection, that facilitated this memorable trip years later.

I grew up in Los Angeles, where I went to an all-girls high school. During that time, I became acutely aware of the cultural forces contributing to my sense of self, my body confidence, romantic relationship ideals, and overall well-being. In the spotlight of Hollywood, societal expectations and medias influence over my life were unquestionable.

Adolescence was an exciting and also rough-and-tumble phase for me and my friends, as it has been for all girls since the beginning of time. I weathered my own struggles and witnessed others around me wading through their own challenges. Even the most supportive parents and watchful teachers couldnt have full visibility into our complex inner lives, the pressures we faced, and the obstacles we were surmounting on our journeys to womanhood. Sometimes we couldnt articulate our experiences. More often, we didnt want to bring them up. I started to think we all needed a lot more help navigating the real world than we were getting.

It was the early 2000s. I looked to magazines and books and the Internet for information, but I couldnt find resources that felt reliable and relevant on topics like relationships and mental health. As a freshman in college, I already knew I wanted a career in girlhood, to be a guiding presence for young women so that they could struggle less and achieve more in all areas of their lives.

I have spent my academic and professional career studying, advocating for, and teaching adolescent girls. As a gender studies major at Brown University, I wrote my senior thesis on the impact of Seventeen magazine on girls health. At Harvard, while studying for a masters degree in human development and psychology, I further immersed myself in the study of girlhood. Ive written articles, developed curricula, spoken at conferences, and given interviews about girls. As a national speaker, school wellness counselor, and writer I have reached thousands of girls and answered countless questions about the habits and strategies that can boost their mental, physical, emotional, and relational health. Ive designed courses in positive psychology, media literacy, and healthy relationships, all with the goal of supporting teenagers personal development. Im also an educational entrepreneur who has launched my own companies and advised other businesses and nonprofits driving positive change for young women around the globe.