Terry Vaughan - Not with My Daughter!: A Dads Guide to Screening Dates and Boyfriends

Copyright 2014 by Terry Vaughan

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Ashley Lau

Print ISBN: 978-1-62914-437-5

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-62914-915-8

Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

Reasons and Motivations

You have enemies? Good. That means youve stood up for something, sometime in your life!

Winston Churchill

Once upon a time you might have described me as a prepper. I had food, water, a selection of good knives, escape plans for virtually every contingency, and plenty of assorted firearms. In other words, everything a man would need in the event of a personal or global catastrophe. I was prepared for the world to implode. But as it turned out the Mayans only ran out of locations on which to write calendar dates beyond December 2012they werent predicting the world would end. That was our misinterpretation. They just ran out of walls to paint on.

So, in the absence of a natural or manmade disaster, I have come to realize that nothing is going to save me from my two daughters coming of age, and yes, entrance into the dating scene. My older daughter is twelve, smart as a whip, athletic, and as feisty as me. She also believes the sun rises and sets with her dad, which is funny because she is the one I can most easily embarrass with a song or dance in front of her friends. With the teenage years on the horizon, I fear that her view of me being all-knowing is drawing to a closeat least temporarily. Im hoping once she turns twenty-one those beliefs will return once again.

Then there is my middle child, my youngest daughter, who at age ten is already smarter than me. She could end up working for whats left of NASA, or even the CIA, because yes, she is that smart. Unfortunately, given her love of rock music and dancing, Im afraid she might seriously consider being a Vegas showgirl. I console myself with the fact that if she does become a dancer it will be because of her love of music and not out of a sense of desperation to strike back at me. Contrary to Cora, Sophie isnt embarrassed by anything I do; she loves to laugh at me! So maybe I should be more concerned with Cora heading off to a life of glitz and glamour? Shed view the move as payback for all those times I goofed around in front of her friends. Parenting is tough, isnt it? And every single decision can have consequenceshell, even goofing off can come back to bite you on the ass!

With that being said, career choices are still a long way off, and I have more pressing concerns. Just like every other father in the world with daughters, Im scared! I have been for years. I know its my job and, of course, their mothers, to raise these girls and steer them clear of dangers along the wayand when I say dangers, I mean little perverts commonly referred to as teenage boys. How do I know that teenage boys are perverts? Hello, been there, done that. This is why I have no qualms about illuminating the pimply little buggers in such a nefarious light. I once walked in their shoes, and liked it. And thats what scares me the most!

Now I know I shouldnt be (unfairly) tarnishing every teenage boy with the same brush. There are certainly exceptions to the rule. For instance, my son will grow up as a gentleman and perfectly at ease around strong-minded women. He is already cognizant of how important it is to openly discuss his feelings, and he can thank his mother for that blessing. I, on the other hand, had to learn how to open up and share things like feelings under the patient tutelage of my wife. Years in the military coupled with my less-than-harmonious childhood worked together to make me the kind of guy who shut down emotionally when things became tough, or uncomfortable.

But today, I no longer think in terms of having to win everything, fix everything, or even have a well-thought-out response to a challenging question. I understand that none of those things matter as long as I am willing to talk, sometimes at great length, in a meaningful and caring way, and then listen to the response with all the attention it deserves! This is all going to be second nature to my son because if he doesnt listen, his momma takes offense and his sisters try to beat the crap out of him.

Now you may be a considerate, caring, well-adjusted, well-balanced, empathetic, and even sympathetic man who wouldnt hurt anyoneever. If this is the case, then its possible that your teenage experience was a wholesome one full of warm, fuzzy memories. You were most likely raised in a household with three square meals a day and a hug every night before bed, and theres nothing wrong with that. Hell, thats how were bringing my son up. If one day my son (or a mature, caring model citizen like him) knocks on your door to take little Sally on a date, you can rest assured she is being escorted to her destination by a gentleman.

But seriously, who am I kidding? I can practically guarantee that there isnt going to be a model anything that comes reverently knocking at your door. Teenage boys like this are few and far between. The young man wholl show up to escort your daughter is likely going to be full of surging testosterone, and illegally acquired beer. He will also be blessed with the finger dexterity of a master magician, and the kind of night vision capabilities normally reserved for big cats.

His years thus far have likely been lacking a firm, caring role model, or even a half-decent father. In fact, where his dad is concerned, every fear you herald in regard to the worst personality type possible is well represented here! When this young hooligans father was present, the examples set forth by this knuckle-dragging Neanderthal were a mixture of alcohol dependency and borderline personality disorder. It hasnt been a pretty example and now the youth is old enough to personally deliver his own brand of takeout right to your door.

Life is grand, isnt it?

But wait, before you despair and begin acquiring leg irons and a chain with which to secure your daughter in the far reaches of your basement, help is on the horizon.

I learned a few things during my four years with the British Royal Marine Commandos, and one of the most important lessons I garnered during that time is that if you plan for the worst and hope for the best, youll rarely be caught unprepared. Thus I present to you this guide to interviewing and screening your daughters boyfriends. I am going to teach you how to be a master interrogator of your daughters dates, so you and she can work together to find her perfect match. Some of the things Im going to share with you are:

Why your ability to influence your daughters dating choices begins long before shes old enough to date.