Michelle Watson - Dad, Heres What I Really Need from You: A Guide for Connecting with Your Daughters Heart

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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DAD, HERES WHAT I REALLY NEED FROM YOU

Copyright 2014 by Michelle Watson

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Watson, Michelle

Dad, heres what I really need from you / Dr. Michelle Watson.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-7369-5840-0 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-5842-4 (eBook)

1. Fathers and daughtersReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.

BV4529.17.W38 2014

248.8'421dc23

2013043570

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CONTENTS

T he economics of fathering, more specifically fatherlessness, is a topic that has received no small attention. Recent data estimates a figure of 100 billion dollars annually as the cost of fatherlessness. This a significant sum, but it does not include the staggering emotional, moral, and loss of potential costs that plague a child when they dont have a dad.

Conservatively, 25 million children under the age of eighteen dont live with their dad, which means roughly 12.5 million daughters go to bed tonight in a home without their father. Add to that the number of children who live with their dad but arent connected to him relationally, emotionally, or spiritually. Therein is a much clearer picture of the true costs of fatherlessness.

Enter Dr. Michelle Watson. When I first met Michelle, I was greatly encouraged that another skilled and competent leader had been prompted to focus on strengthening father-daughter relationships. After many discussions, it was clear that Dr. Watson was a thoughtful leader who was bringing attention to the importance of those relationships.

While the costs and consequences of fatherlessness have been described in great detail in the literature, the benefits and assets created by father full ness have been less so. The absence of a father leaves a child at risk, with hopelessness and disaster waiting in the wings. But the presence of a dad, particularly one who is responsible and humble, can breathe hope and life into a child. Remarkably, the research and opinion leaders are unified: fathers matter, and they play an essential role in healthy child development.

What impresses me most about Dr. Watson is that she recognizes how much fathers matter. Add to that her passion to see dads and daughters connect in ways that yield benefits to both, and you have fatherfullness in motion. In addition, Dr. Watson understands that reciprocity and appreciating male-female differences is the foundation for healthy relationships. Her book will help you lay the groundwork for a healthy family. Her insights are spot on.

For several years Dr. Watson has tested the efficacy of her research in small groups. She has put scores of dads through enriching and, at times, challenging training that has helped them grow in their commitment as fathers. Thats right. A female, Dr. Watson, has been teaching dads with great success, and the results have been extraordinary. And how did that happen?

First, Michelle is a daughter. She knows, through an imperfect though healthy relationship with her dad, why the father-daughter relationship is so important. When you know from experience how valuable the bond between dads and daughters really is, and then are challenged to make that relationship the best it can be, a quality is added to your clinical training that supersedes the academic credential.

Second, Dr. Watson is a successful therapist. Her entire vocational career has been committed to helping women and men mature. She is licensed and has endured the scrutiny of other counseling professionals. She practices with excellence, and her case loads are always full.

Third and most important, Dr. Watson is a lifelong learner. From our first meeting and throughout the years, I have come to know that one of Michelles gifts is wisdom. That wisdom has been tempered and shaped by another Father. The fact that she can integrate spiritual truths and realities into her training gives her a unique perspective.

I have been working in the field of fatherhood and family formation for over twenty-five years. It is always a delight to meet leaders who have discernment with respect to the fathering role. Dr. Watson is one of those. I applaud her efforts, her work, and her success in providing fresh insights to fathers and daughters. I highly recommend her book and her work as an author, a speaker, and an emerging leader.

Ken R. Canfield, PhD

Founder, National Center for Fathering

www.fathers.com

W ayne is one of those men you dont easily forget. His six-foot-three frame carries with it a commanding presence that lets you know hes going to shoot straight whether you agree with him or not. But he also exudes a warmth and genuineness that draws people to him. As an ingenious entrepreneur, Wayne has worked hard to get where he is, and if you were to spend even five minutes with him, you would soon discover that he thrives on meeting challenges head-on and seeing them come to a positive resolution. Thus, it should come as no surprise to hear about his increasing frustration and sense of defeat when he first contacted me about joining The Abba Project, the group I lead for dads who have daughters in their teens and twenties.

As a father to two sons and one twenty-two-year-old daughter, Wayne was finally at the point of admitting that there was a disconnect between the success he was experiencing at work and his success as a dad. He came desperate for help to reach his daughters heart, knowing that the time was now or never.

Wayne describes his daughter, Samantha, as a strong-willed young lady who unfortunately has walked down the wrong path. And while conceding that parenting is doing the best you can, Wayne was also eager to look at the ways his anger had contributed to his daughters pain. He was ready to make amends and focus on rebuilding the bridge to her heart.

Wayne jumped in full steam ahead and enthusiastically engaged Sam in all homework assignments month after month. After going through the first date questionnaire (see the ) with her, he said: We spent four to five hours talking. Thats the longest Ive ever spent with my daughter without being in an airplane!