Simi Botic - Letting Go of Leo: How I Broke up with Perfection

Letting
Go
of Leo

How I Broke Up
with Perfection

Simi Botic

Copyright 2017 Simi Botic.

Editor: Jessica Turpin Dawson

Illustrations by: Joslyn Villapando

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-9270-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-9271-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-9328-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017918079

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/13/2017

Contents

To my dad, mama, and sister Christiana, for making home a space where it was safe to feel my feelings, safe to use my voice, and safe to be myself. Thank you for teaching me to be strong, kind, honest, and authentic. Thank you for helping me come home to those values when I lost my way (many times). Thank you for raising me to have faith in God, in others, and in myself. And for helping me believe in miracles. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Author, Let It Out: A Journey Through Journaling

The first time we spoke on the phone I knew Id met a lifelong friend.

You should come visit! Stay with us, well celebrate your birthday!

We met online, but a few minutes into our first long phone conversation, Simi had already invited me (a stranger at the time) to stay with her in Columbus, Ohio.

It was the week before my 25 th birthday and little did Simi know I was feeling completely lonely. Starved for community and actually pretty starved for nourishment since Id been excessively dieting for years, I said yes. The trip from my home state of Michigan to Columbus, Ohio was almost five hours. Not a super long road trip, but the longest Id ever driven alone.

I didnt tell my mom I was going until the night before when I realized shed see my travels on Instagram. I knew her reaction would be something along the lines of, Youre driving alone five hours to stay with your friend you met online? Sim what? And her husband? Do you even know these people? Her understandable trepidation made me feel even more anxious as I packed up my overnight bag, downloaded hours of audiobooks, and picked up snacks.

When I arrived, Simi and her dogs met me in the backyard and every ounce of hesitation dissipated instantly. Simi was magnetic, inviting, warm, and made me laugh instantly. She made me feel so cozy that I told her everything about my life, from the breakup I was still hung up on to my deep lingering issues with food and my body. Simi not only listened but truly heard me, made me feel seen, related to me, and gave me the non-judgemental advice I needed.

That weekend ended up being profound for me in a couple of ways. Not only did I spark a new friendship with Simi, but simply by spending time with her I gained clarity on how I wanted my life to unfold. I admired the relationships, career, community, and home shed built for herself. Above all, I deeply admired the nourishing relationship she modeled with food, movement, her body, and herself. At the time I was struggling to find my footing in all of the above.

That weekend I ate, drank, and laughed more than I had in a long time. For the first time I wasnt obsessing about what or how much I was eating. I simply followed Simis intuitive lead and enjoyed food. I have no idea if she knows how profound that weekend was in healing my relationship with food and myself, but Ill never forget what a turning point it was for me.

They say you become the sum of the people you surround yourself with. I wanted to be near Simi, her friends, and her family, so I escaped my life in Michigan and made the journey to Columbus as often as I could. I even plotted moving there so I could insert myself into Simis life, where I knew Id be included.

Ultimately, I realized this would be cutting the line. Simi created the life shed dreamed of with trial and error, time, and experience (which youll read all about in this book). It took her years to curate her community, cozy home, meritorious marriage, and most importantly the relationship with herself that I admire most. I gave up my dream of simply inserting myself into Simis life and instead worked on creating an admirable life of my own.

Ever since that first weekend meeting Simi, she has become one of the most significant people in my life. Beyond being a powerful example for me, shes the most supportive friend I have. A good friend braids your hair. A great friend flies across the country pregnant to be at your book launch.

When my book was released, Simi launched into help mode even though she was super pregnant and stricken with terrible nausea. It didnt stop her from flying to New York City with extreme flight delays to stay in a tiny hotel room with me the night my book came out. During my launch party in a crowded organic cafe in the West Village, she stood up on a table and announced that I had something to say because she knew Id be too shy to do it myself (and regret it if I didnt).

This is just one example of what youre dealing with when it comes to the level of kindness and empathy in the author of this book that youre about to read. In the years weve been friends, shes supported me, loved me, and talked to me for hours about everything from ex-boyfriends to new boyfriends to hating my body to learning to love my body. Shes listened, let me cry, and made me laugh ... whatever I needed.

Im not telling you this to brag about our friendship, but so you truly get who she is. The type of person everyone wants to be around. And when youre around her, you want to snuggle up to her and gush because shes incredibly empathetic, present, relatable, and funny (oh, and has the best laugh in the universe).

The good news is youll get to experience all of her in the pages of this book (except her laugh, which can often be heard in her Instagram stories). Reading this book, I felt the same coziness I feel when Im actually around Simi. This book is the inside of her brain poured out onto the pages. Simis experience coaching and mentoring, commitment to self-awareness and growth, creativity, and willingness to be vulnerable are what make this book exceptional.

Im not just saying this because shes my best friend, I truly loved reading it. Meanwhile, it took me forever to start writing this foreword. Not because I didnt want to (I was honored she asked me), but because I didnt want to let her down ...I wanted it to be perfect.