Clea Hantman - 30 Days to Finding and Keeping Sassy Sidekicks and BFFs: A Friendship Field Guide

Y ou know what is shocking to me? All those magazines we read, they cover makeup and hair, hot sexy boys and quizzes, but they don't talk about friendshipit's as if it's assumed that all is perfect in friend-land. But is it? I mean, always? Because frankly, a friendship is a relationship, and relationships are hard and ever-changing and need to be worked at time and time again.

If you don't have a BFF right here, right now, that's okay. This book can help you steer clear of the bad ones, attract the good ones and guide you to treating them well so that they stick around. If you do have one, this here book will only make things brighter and better and help you get over the inevitable hurdles.

The following is a statement that should not have to be made, and yet it does: Other girls are not the enemy. They aren't your competition, despite what some CW shows would have you believe. Girls should be seen as our teammates, with us through thick and thin, by our side cheering us on, not antagonizing us. I am hereby encouraging you to look at other, unknown girls not as adversaries or rivals but as potential friends.

Because if we nurture them and make the effort, our girlfriend-ships can last a lifetime. Girlfriends can be the most meaningful people in our worlds. They can be some of the most rewarding parts of our lives. And they tend to stick around longer than boyfriends. I challenge you to make the effort and celebrate your friendships, solidifying the place deep in your soul for your greatest girlfriends. But how?

Well, you can't pick your family members. But you can pick your friends (and your nose). So do so, wisely. (The friends, not the nose.)

The ultimate way to be happy and live well is to be surrounded by good friends. They make strawberries sweeter, a movie funnier and a day at the beach even more enjoyable. Great friends should inspire you, spur you on and share your experiences. Have you ever noticed that when you study with people who really get the material, you under stand it better? The same goes for friends. When you are with people who are good at being friends, you become a better friend. Lousy friends drag you down, drain your soul, wear you out. You have the ability to choose which sorts you surround yourself with.

These choices make up our world and our experiences. You have the power to make good choices; you just need to be informed. What are you looking for in a friend? What means the most to you? What won't you put up with? What shouldn't you put up with? These questions and more will be answered in the next thirty days.

I don't come to you as a registered or licensed expert. I come to you as someone who has screwed up my share of friendships and made a couple of messes, but who has emerged on the other side with a small yet sturdy boatload of terrific gal pals. It can be rough sailing at times, and that's how I know firsthand that it all takes great care and concern and effort. And I also know it's worth every bit of that hard work.

I've divided this book into four sections. The first will cover the basics of friendship, what it is and how to make it happen. The second takes it to another level, giving you ideas about how to make the bond bondier. (Not a word? Tough.) The third section covers the major pitfalls and obstacles of friendship today and how to overcome or at least deal with those. And finally, the fourth and last chapter steers the friendship up, up, up to the highest pinnacle of goodness, elevating it to Mount Everest height. Each section is split into days, with thirty in all. And every day I pro-vide you with a concept to think about, as well as an activity to do. And because I believe music magnifies our feelings and self-discoveries, I've suggested a song that I think illustrates the concept for each day.

Now let's get to work.

M ethinks there needs to be an Intro to Friendship class at every high school on what it means to be a friend. But since I don't know of a single school that has one, that's where I'm going to start. Before you skip this section because you think it's beneath you or not applicable to your life, let me beg you to reconsider.

Sometimes even the bestest friends in the world need a refresher on what it takes to be a world-class pal. Heck, I need one regularly and I'm writing this book. Friendship may seem basic and obvious to you now, but when you dissect it like that poor frog in biology, you'll see there is so much more to it than you first thought.

If you flat-out need to make new friends, this is of course exactly where to start. Know that you're not alone. Due to various circumstances such as a new school or job, old friends moving on and drifting apart or a plain ol' lack of the finer points of basic social skills, many, many girls are looking to start fresh on the friendship train. So with that said, all aboard toot, toot.

New people scare me.
My room is safer, okay?
But boy, am I bored.