50MINUTES - Working with Difficult Personalities: How to deal effectively with challenging colleagues

How can you say that a person has a difficult personality? It is not easy to draw a line between a tendency to get angry a little too easily and a personality disorder, or between occasional mood swings and genuine psychological problems.

To make things easier, we can use the definition provided by the French psychiatrist and psychotherapist Christophe Andr (born in 1956). According to Andr, difficult personalities are characterised by certain character traits which are excessively pronounced or fixed, with the result that people with these personality types inflict suffering on themselves and others (2000: 20). If a colleague seems to consistently behave unusually for an extended period of time, with negative effects on the effectiveness and wellbeing of either you or your team, it is probably fair to conclude that you are dealing with a difficult personality.

While getting angry may be a legitimate and necessary reaction to begin with, this will not help change the situation. You will need to analyse the other persons behaviour to find out what makes them tick. Understanding the inner workings of those around you will make you aware of the wide range of possible reactions and help you to accept the way your colleagues are. This preliminary analysis is essential if you want to put an effective strategy in place.

Below is a summary of the six main personality types you are likely to come across at work.

1. The worrier suffers from fears with no object. They always expect the worst and announce catastrophes that either have not happened yet or have no chance of happening. They are experts in negative talk. Anxious people never relax, either physically or emotionally. If they are managing a team, they find it incredibly difficult to see the big picture or delegate. If they are part of a team, they seek approval from others at every turn. Independence is a major weak point for them. They break out in a cold sweat at the slightest sign of risk. In some cases, they are even generous enough to share their anxiety with the rest of the team!
2. Working with a paranoiac is no walk in the park! This kind of person is constantly suspicious and is unable to trust or confide in others. They are no fun to be around, keep their distance from other people and constantly scrutinise those around them. They take every opportunity to sink their claws into their prey, meaning anyone they are suspicious of. Do not forget that their view of reality is completely different from yours. Anything can fuel their need to feel betrayed: if you shook their clients hand while they were waiting in reception, they will see this as a clear sign that you are encroaching on their territory! This kind of person will hold anything that you do or say against you.
3. Drama seekers have an unquenchable thirst for attention and constantly want all eyes to be on them. They cannot handle being ignored. They are overemotional and prone to mood swings, and struggle to view situations calmly and objectively. Unfortunately for them, professional relationships are not based on emotion, but on technical matters and contracts. Moderation in interpersonal relationships is not their strong suit.
4. It is often said that perfect is the enemy of good, but unfortunately for you the perfectionist has not taken this on board. The most extreme perfectionists set goals that are by definition impossible to accomplish. Sometimes, they are unable to complete tasks because they always find more to work on. They are obsessed by the fear of failure, but also by the fear of success and finished work. As they constantly doubt themselves and always need to look into things more deeply, they find it difficult to make decisions. Perfectionists are often as cold and distant as paranoiacs, making them difficult to get along with.
5. The narcissist has one major problem in life: they are better than everyone else and are simply an exceptional person. At least, this is how they see things. In other words, not only do they think that they can get away with anything, but they also think that the world owes them everything and they owe others nothing. If you try to tell them to stop what they are doing, they react with surprise or even astonishment. But why are they so annoyed and why has their mood suddenly changed? Like an old feudal lord, our Narcissus is entitled to certain privileges, no questions asked!
6. This list would not be complete without mentioning the slacker . Whether they are paralysed by intense anxiety or are simply selfish and want to save their own energy, the result is the same: you end up burdened with the work they are unable or unwilling to do. At the slightest sign of illness, they will take a lengthy break from work. The simplest tasks take them a day to finish and they always have something better to do than pitch in to help the team. They are often all talk and no action, could not care less about work and have no qualms about letting deadlines pass them by. As you can imagine, they are a real pleasure for the people who have to work and interact with them!