V. H. Oldfield - Faking Hope

Faking Hope

V. H. Oldfield

Copyright V. H. Oldfield 2014

Chapter 1: Thebeginning.

Now I'm sittingalone
I'm finally looking around
Left here on my own
I'm gonna hurt myself
Maybe losing my mind
I'm still wondering why
Had to let the world let it bleeddry ...

I woke up at the sound of my alarm clock.I groaned and got up, rubbing my eyes. I took a quick shower,washing my hair slowly while I sang my favorite song named "We AreGolden" which was also the song on my alarm clock. Although, it maynot be my favorite song for much longer if it kept waking meup.

The hot water relaxed my body from thestressful dream I had. It was more a nightmare than a dream, but Ididnt want to think about it anymore. I stepped out of the showerto dress myself with a green slim and a pink T-shirt. I also took afew colorful bracelets, taking my time to look good. Finally, Ibrushed my long light brown hair making a slight mess in it, whichI loved. Once I looked good enough to eat, I went downstairs. Mymother was already making the breakfast in our small kitchen, and Icould smell it from up the stairs.

"How are you today, sweetie?" I lookedup to my mother, watching her tired eyes droop and her brown hairbounce as she walked up to me. She gave me a brilliant warm smile.Her eyes were shining, as they did every morning. Always happy tosee me. She said I was the best thing that ever happened to her,and I believed it.

"I'm fine," I mumbled, looking at herquickly and giving her a half smile before going back on my phoneand my boyfriend, Alex.

She sighed and gave me a plate ofpancakes with syrup on it. I thanked her and began to eat, leavingthe plate on the big marble table when I was done.

"Your dishes!" my mother said, angerin her voice, looking at me hands on her hips. Her blue dress madeher look like a strumpet. I laughed a little at theimage.

"I don't have time for that; Alex iswaiting for me. He's already at school." I said leaving quickly,without waiting for her answer. I know she would be angry aboutthat, but I was already late. I had to leave.

I walked as fast as I could.Alex was waiting for me on our bench, the one he asked me out. Hisdark blue jeans contrasted the white T-shirt showing off hisdelicious abs. When he saw me, he smiled and came to me. His smellwas like cologne. He kissed me slowly, hugging me tightly. His lipsentranced me, numbing mine with the seer intensity that was theirvery touch. I cuddled my head into his shoulder, the perfect heightfor our embrace. It was perfect. He was perfect. And I loved himdearly.

"I missed you, babe," Alex whisperedsensually in my ear, making me shiver.

"I missed you too," I answered,kissing him again with passion. I smiled happily at him. Ahappiness everyone could have seen shining right out ofme.

"Come on, we're going to be late forschool," he said taking my hand and smiling lovingly atme.

On the way to our first class, all thestudents were glaring at me, giving me malevolent glares. It alwaysmade me uncomfortable. Luckily, Alex was here with me, and I wasused to it. I didn't know why they hated me so much. Being gay hadsomething to do with it, but they werent that mean with Alex orothers students.

I met Alex when I was ten, seven yearsago. We met at school. I remembered that day as if it wasyesterday... I closed my eyes, reminiscing the day I metAlex.

I was sitting on a bench, alone,crying. I hated school, everybody was mean. I didn't have friends.Other children would laugh at me, calling me names. Teachersweren't any better. They stared at me with hated eyes as if Ikilled someone in their family. I've always been a good boy. Mymarks weren't that bad, I had some proble ms but I was doing my best. It washard to have perfect marks when nobody wanted to explain to youthose things you didnt understand. I was alwaysalone.

My mother knew nothing about it.I couldn't let her know. I didn't want to disappoint her. I didn'twant to see the pity in her eyes. Luckily my mother neverquestioned why she never saw me with friends, why I never broughtanyone home to pla y. She had been working so much since my dad left fiveyears ago. She didnt need to worry about my problems; it was notthat important. I was not that important.

A short blond-haired boywith eyes as dark as ink came near me, standing immobile before me.He was looking at me as if I was the most interesting thing in theworld, and it was making me uncomfortable. Why was he here? Did hewant to make fun of me too?

"Why are you crying?" Heasked me in a soft tone, furrowing his brows.

I looked at him, wiping myeyes.

"What are you doing here?"I sniffled, a few tears on my cheeks.

"You're always alone, why?Don't you have friends?" He asked me before sitting next to me, afrown on his face.

I made a sign, sadly, as anothertear ran down my cheek.

"Well, I will promise yousomething. You will never ever be alone from now on. You're my newbest friend, ok?" He said with a bright smile, excitement in hiseyes. He was almost bouncing up and down inexcitement.

I smiled weakly at himbefore nodding. He took my hand and led me to theswings.

"Come on, I'm sure I can gohigher than you!" He said laughing and climbing on a swing while Itook the other next to him.

That was the day I met myfirst, and only, friend.

Seven years later, he was still with me;our relationship evolved. I couldnt imagine my life without him. Icouldnt. He was everything to me. I loved him too much. It maysound stupid, but I've had no one but my mother for solong...anyone, except Alex.

At the end of the day we left schoolquickly, hand in hand. The weather was beautiful and it wasn'tcold. Strange, as we were in November, but I wasn't complaining, Ihated snow.

"Can you go home with me?" I asked,giving him a puppy look which made him groan.

"You know I can't resist when you'relooking at me with your beautiful green eyes," he said with apout.

I grinned and kissed him before takinghis hand.

"Fag." I heard someone mumble leavingschool.

I frowned. Whycouldn 't theylet me be happy?

"Don't listen to them; they don't knowwhat theyre missing. Youre perfect," Alex whispered in my ear. Hekissed my cheek and took back my other hand.

I smiled weakly at him, nodding, andwe began to walk.

+ =

"Mom! I'm here!" I shouted as Ientered in tothe house, taking off my white vest.

"I'm in the livingroom!"

"Hey Mom, Alex's here. We will be inmy room, ok?" I said with a small smile.

"Who is this Alex boy?" She asked,raising an eyebrow, her fingers hovering over the keys as shepaused typing. Probably yet another language transcription forwork.

"My boyfriend." I answered rolling myeyes at her stupidity.

"Did I meet him?" She eyedme suspiciously.

"Mom, he's been my best friend for years,and weve been together for two years now. Of course you've alreadymet him, I said, trying to stay calm. She got on my nerves whenshe played dumb that way. It was not like she never met him! It hadbeen seven years for gods sake!

"Sweetie..." She whispered, something likepity in her eyes.

I ignored her and went into my room, Alexwas already here.

"Hey, what took you so long?" He said,lying down on the black bed, his eyes closed.

"My mother asked me stupid questionsabout you," I said, rolling my eyes before lying down next tohim.

"She can't understand ourrelationship. I'll always be with you, he whispered smiling andstroking my hair gently.

I smiled sweetly at him. Hehugged me. We stayed this way, in this position, for hours, withoutspeaking, stealing kisses from each other. The last thing Iremembered before falling asleep was: "I'll always be with you, even if I'mnot here physically. Don't believe the others, they're justjealous... Stay strong."

+ =

I groaned before rubbing myeyes. I was in my bed in white boxers. When did I fall asleep? How manyhours did I sleep? I looked at my alarm clock, it was already 7a.m. There was no point in falling back asleep, my alarm would ringin ten minutes. I sighed and I took a quick shower. Throwing on ared slim and a blue T-shirt, I finally realized that Alex wasn't inthe bed. I frowned and ran downstairs, looking everywhere, but Icouldn't find him.