Caitlin Friedman - The Girls Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch): Valuable Lessons, Smart Suggestions, and True Stories for Succeeding as the Chick-in-Charge

Copyright 2006 by Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio

All rights reserved
Published in the United States by Crown Business, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
www.crownpublishing.com

CROWN BUSINESS is a trademark and CROWN and the Rising Sun colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

Originally published in hardcover in the United States by Crown Business, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York, in 2006. Subsequently published in paperback in the United States by Broadway Books, an imprint of the Doubleday Broadway Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York, in 2007.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Friedman, Caitlin.

The girls guide to being a boss (without being a bitch) : valuable lessons, smart suggestions, and true stories for succeeding as the chick-in-charge / by Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio.

p. cm.

1. Supervision of employeesHandbooks, manuals, etc. 2. Women supervisors. 3. Women executives. I. Yorio, Kimberly. II. Title.

HF5549.12.F76 2006

658.302082dc22

2005044759

ISBN 978-0-7679-2285-2
eBook ISBN 978-0-7679-2494-8

v3.0_r1

contents

To my partner in love, and life, Andrew, and my two new joys, Declan and Taylor
To the boys who love me even on the rare occasions when I am being a bitch, Sean and Thomas

acknowledgments

First and foremost we want to thank the two people who were behind getting this project on the shelves, publisher Amy Hertz, who is as committed as we are to helping women be women in the workplace, and our agent, David Black, who from the morning we met with him about our books has been our champion and cheerleader. Thanks to the girls at Morgan Road Books: Anne Watters for coming up with refreshingly fun and creative marketing ideas; Jean Traina for the amazing jacket and Lauren Panepinto for those girly sticky notes (we love them). Thanks to the boys at Morgan Road Books: Marc Haeringer, one fantastic editor who really got the girl voice; Nathanael Brown, an assistant we would try to steal if we didnt like Amy so much; and one of our favorite people in publicity and in all of publishing... David Drake. Our foreign rights hot shot, Leigh Ann Elisco from the David Black Agency, has been a gift from the gods. We want to give a shout out to all the girls who were willing to share their storiesgood, bad, and uglyand a special thank-you to Anat Baron, Christine Deussen, and Melissa Clark, who tapped into their wide network of women to help us with this book. Thank you moms, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, friends, soon-to-be friends, and every girl out there committed to making the professional world a better place, especially Kara and Sharyn Yorio, Chrisi Colabella, and Laurice Duffy.

Caitlin wants to thank Kim for making every new business meeting, book signing, road trip, speaking engagement, and media appearance just that much more fun. And Kim wants to thank Caitlin because without her ideas and confidence the Girls Guides wouldnt exist.

introduction

While writing our first book, The Girls Guide to Starting Your Own Business, we had to edit the chapter Being a Boss Sucks down from an unreasonable two hundred pages. Why so long? Because we have both struggled with the leadership role since hiring our first assistant, and had a lot to say about its challenges, as did most of the women we interviewed. The upshot... managing is hard. Over the past year our little public relations agency has tripled in size, raising a bunch of questions we hadnt faced before: Who do you promote? Who do you fire? How do you effectively train an employee? How long do you invest in employees before you can expect them to pay off? How do you demonstrate gratitude for a job well done without going broke? But the biggest question that we have struggled with and continue to on almost a daily basis is: how to own and enjoy the role of boss lady.

After a lot of thoughtand even more researchweve come to learn that too many women in the workforce (including us!) havent had the chance to learn from positive female role models. Without positive experiences to draw from, weve ended up repeating bad behavior. We are hoping that this book will provide the insight and positive reinforcement so many of us have searched for in our own professional lives.

With some introspection, research, and interviews with lots of ladies who lead, we have come to the conclusion that women actually have it in them to be better managers than their male counterparts. If we could just get over our fears, the traits we are born with as womennurturing, patience, strength, wisdom, and resourcefulnessare the very characteristics that will make us stars in the boardroom and the mentor many employees need.

By owning the role of queen bee in a positive way, we are empowering you to become that one-in-a-million manager. You can be powerful without being possessive. You can be opinionated without being brassy. You can have a strong voice without micromanaging. You can be mentors who lead, inspire, and motivate.

There is no fast track to owning this role, or even getting better at it, but we think after reading The Girls Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch) you will be well on your way.

youre a big girl now

FROM JUST ANOTHER EMPLOYEE TO
CHICK-IN-CHARGE

Okay. So youre the boss now. The supervisor. The manager. The captain. The taskmaster. Those days of taking orders, running errands, and clock-watching are over forever. At last, you get to call the shots.

As exciting as all this might seem, once the rush of the promotion is over, you might be scratching your head wondering exactly what your new responsibilities entail. Many feel a little lost once we arrive at the grown-up table, not having had many positive managerial role models. Fear not. You know you can do the job; all you need is a little helpful advice to send you on your way.

Whether you supervise two as a shift manager or lord over an entire corporate empire, we will help you take the leap from mediocre to marvelous. And for those of you who are already running the show, we can help you lose that nickname Bitch on Wheels and become the leader your employees deserve.

Well show you what it means to be queen: how to wield your ever-evolving bag of management tricks; discover what is expected of you; decide what you can reasonably expect of your team; and how to jump in and love every minute of your Head Honchoness.

good days and bad days: the good, bad, and ugly
aspects of being a manager

Leading can be a daunting task. In some ways it can be positively thrilling. In others, it can be a big old pain in the ass. Just as the freedom, responsibility, and respect start to lift you to cloud nine, the paranoia, fear, and anxiety can bring you crashing back down to earth. Like all things, being the recognized leader can have its highs and lows. Heres a look at the lawns on both sides of the fence.

the good

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!

We might be dreaming, but if youve gotten a promotion, wed like to assume a nice, whopping raise came along with it. Hopefully you will never again have to struggle to make ends meet and face your credit card bills at the end of the month in tears. Even if the new job doesnt mean a giant windfall, being the boss should put you in a better financial position than you were in before. And if youre not, make sure you check out the sections in chapter 5 on fair pay and lobby for what you deserve.