T. D. Jakes - Promises from God for Parents

My gratitude to my wife, Serita, and my entire family, who generously shared me with this manuscript. Thank you for being such a blessed gift in my life everyday. I also want to acknowledge the compassion and encouragement that I consistently receive from my church family.

Thank you, Denise Silvestro, for your insights and creativity, and for working tirelessly to bring my message to fruition.

Thank you Joel Fotinos, for your enthusiasm, encouragement, wisdom, and for continuing to believe in me.

Thank you to everyone at Penguin. You always treat me and my work with great dignity and integrity. My gratitude to Susan Petersen Kennedy, Leslie Gelbman, Ivan Held, Marilyn Ducksworth, Craig Burke, Heather Connor, Norman Lidofsky, Patrick Nolan, Chris Mosley, Katie Day, Lara Robbins, and everyone at the Noble Group.

I t wasnt very long ago that a young couple at the church celebrated the birth of their first child. I remember the look of pride on the new fathers face as people were congratulating him over the good news announcement. His smile was so wide and his eyes sparkled so bright that you would have thought he was the first man ever to father a child. His joy was a beautiful sight to behold.

About three months later I saw him again at church. The change that had come upon him was dramatic, to say the least. His eyes, which once shined brightly, now had a dull, bloodshot look to them, and bags under them. His smile was nowhere to be found. His shoulders slumped as he tiredly went through the motions of worship. It was obvious that the joy he had felt had turned into heaviness.

What made the difference? Before the child was born, the father had had visions and ideas of how parenting would be. It was an idyllic dream, one that had made him happy. He had believed that his child would be smart and sweet, would never cry, and would sleep like, well, a baby. But any parent of a newborn can verify that the reality is quite different from the dream. Sleepless nights, bone-aching exhaustion, and the fear that you cant do anything right, replace the fantasy that most of us have before we are parents. Not to mention the obvious: Children do not come with instruction manuals. Parents are left to figure out how to raise a child as they go along.

Now, Id be the first to tell you that being a parent is a mighty blessing. There are plenty of times for hugs, kisses, and sweet and tender moments. But in the case of parenting children, the clich is actually true: Anything worthwhile requires a lot of hard work.

I wanted to write this book for parents with children of all ages because parenting can sometimes be hard work. Through all phases and stagesfrom the newborn to the college-bound and beyondchildren can confuse us, fatigue us, and frustrate us. Yes, they can bring us great joy, and, yes, they can be our greatest blessing. But that is only true if you are able to see through the pain that comes with the journey of parenting to the larger picture: God has chosen you to be a parent for a reason.

Prepare the Feast

As a Christian parent, you have help in the Bible, your church community, and most importantly, your Heavenly Father. He is always available for guidance, for strength, and for patience. And trust me, youll need some patience! He can provide all that you need to successfully manage the rules, the regulations, and the responsibilities of being a parent. You dont have to do it alone.

Jesus tells us the story of the parent who loved his children so much, that when one of them left home, acting irresponsible and squandering his money, until he had no choice but to return to his fathers house, instead of condemning the boy and banning him, the father welcomed the son with open arms. It is the parable of the Prodigal Son, and is one of the most widely quoted parables in the Bible. But have you ever wondered what Jesus was really getting at in this story beyond the obvious lesson? I believe that one of the keys of this tale is found when the father welcomes back the son and tells his servants to prepare a feast. Here was a boy who had left his home and squandered his fathers fortune and was now back with empty pockets and an empty spirit. There was no I told you so, no condemnation, and no attempts to make the child feel guilt and shame. No. Instead, that father saw his son in the distance and rushed out to him, embracing him in the way only a parent can.

And then he called for the feast:

But his father said to the servants, Hurry and bring the best clothes and put them on him. Give him a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. Get the best calf and prepare it, so we can eat and celebrate. This son of mine was dead, but has now come back to life. He was lost and has now been found. And they began to celebrate.