Susan Alexander Yates - And Then I Had Kids: Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children

Susan Alexander Yates understands me! Her honesty and encouragement serve as a dose of perspective and helpful direction for mothers everywhere. If you have young children, you need this book! It promises to equip you to do your best in the high calling of motherhood.

Jill Savage, mother of four, author,
founder of Hearts at Home

Susans practical insights, kid-tested advice, and easy-to-read style make this one parenting book that really WORKS! Keep one book in your diaper bag, another in your glove compartment, and a whole case of them in the trunkyoull want to give a copy to every mom and dad you know!

Jodie Berndt, author of Praying the Scriptures
for Your Children

If youre the mother of young children and are looking for some very honest, practical help with and through this incredible time in your life, and if youre looking for a woman who is serious about integrating thoughtful, biblical wisdom and sensitivity into her role as a mother... Susan Yates is the friend youve been looking for.

Rebecca Manley Pippert, author of A Heart Like His

Books by the Yates family:

Character Matters!: Raising Kids with ValuesThat Last, John and Susan Yates

Tightening the Knot: Couple-Tested Ideas toKeep Your Marriage Strong, Susan Alexander Yates and Allison Yates Gaskins

How a Man Prays for His Family, John W. Yates

How to Like the Ones You Love: Building FamilyFriendships for Life, Susan Alexander Yates

The Incredible Four-Year Adventure: FindingReal Faith, Fun, and Friendship at College, John Yates III and Chris Yates

Family: Creating a Home Full of Grace, John and Susan Yates

And Then I Had Teenagers, Susan Yates

31 Days of Prayer for My Child, A ParentsGuide, Susan Alexander Yates and Allison Yates Gaskins

31 Days of Prayer for My Teen: A Parents Guide, Susan Alexander Yates

And Then
I Had Kids

Susan Alexander Yates

1988 by Susan Alexander Yates

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Spire edition published 2009
ISBN 978-0-8007-8792-9

Previously published by Word Publishing

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Scripture is taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1973, 1972, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

09 10 11 12 13 14 15 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

With love and thanksgiving
to my husband, Johnny,
and our children,
Allison, John, Christopher,
Susy, and Libby

Contents

Many people have helped make this book a reality. In essence, this is a family story. The support and encouragement of my husband, Johnny, and my children, Allison, John, Christopher, Susy, and Libby, made the whole project possible.

The people of The Falls Church (Episcopal) and my Tuesday morning prayer group prayed for me and willingly shared their stories with me.

My parents, Fran and Syd Alexander, gave me a solid foundation and preparation for which I am humbly grateful. The families of my sister and brothersFran and Catlin Cade, Syd and Laurie Alexander, Frank and Joan Alexanderoffered their encouragement as well. A bonus in my life has been the tremendous influence of my mother-in-law, Sue Tucker Yates.

Weekly, I benefited from the professional advice and deep personal friendships of Ann Hibbard and Beth Spring. Ann Holladay, Gail Hyatt, and Julie Henderson also encouraged me in many ways.

For the past twenty years, Chuck and Cathy Miller have influenced our lives. Many of the thoughts on priorities, real needs, felt needs, and areas of growth come from their teaching.

I am also grateful to Robert Wolgemuth, Michael Hyatt, and George Grant, who believed in me and demanded the best as I wrote this, my first book. Finally, I am thankful to be a part of the wonderful publishing team at Baker Publishing Group.

Dashing down the steps to do yet another load of wash, I realized that something was not quite right. At first it was merely a subconscious feeling of discomfort. As I sorted the clothes for washing, my uneasiness increased. What was wrong?

Suddenly I realized the problem. The house was too quiet. Silence had replaced the normal loud noise level, and silence meant trouble where toddlers were concerned. What were my eighteen-month-old twins into now?

Quickly I began the search. My three older children had not seen the girls. I frantically looked in each room, calling, Susy! Libby! Where are you?

Only silence answered back.

Then I saw the evidencelittle black footprints running across the brand-new carpet in the family room. The fireplace was a mess with ashes spilling out onto the floor. I followed the footprints into the utility room where they came to an abrupt halt in front of the freezer.

Packages of frozen food had spilled out across the floor as if an avalanche had tumbled from my freezer. The freezer door was ajar, and from within I could hear squeals of delight and a language of nonsense as toddlers entertained each other. Peering inside, I found two little girls black with soot joyfully looking at books!

Our children came into the world with great energy and many demands. By the time they had all arrived, Allison, our oldest daughter, had just turned seven; John was four; Christopher, two; and the twins, Susy and Libby, were brand-new babies. With a bang I had joined the ranks of the overwhelmed mother.

Our twins were a big surprise. We found out there would be two instead of one just three weeks before they were born. Six weeks after Susy and Libby arrived, we moved to a new state. We had no family nearby. The twins were colicky and did not sleep. I had no help, and I did not know anyone. My husband was in a demanding new job with only a tiny support staff.

For the first several months we lived in our new home, our kitchen was gutted for a renovation. I remember doing dishes in the bathroom sink and eating cold cuts because the stove was on the porch. When the kitchen was finally finished a severe storm hit, causing a tree to crash into it. Construction had to begin all over again!

Since I was nursing the colicky twins, those early days required a monumental effort in order for me to make it until nap time. I often felt that my brain had stopped working. Twice in one week I went grocery shopping and arrived home only to realize that I had forgotten to bring the groceries home from the store!

All in all, my expectations of family life before I had kids were indeed different from the reality that I faced with five children. I used to be critical of moms whose children had runny noses. Why dont their mothers wipe their faces? I would wonder in amazement. I would marvel at a child in public whose hair looked like it had not been brushed in a week or whose clothes did not match. And then I had kids!

There went my six-year-old son off to school in a striped shirt and checkered pants (not the style of the day). My eight-year-old daughter had long beautiful hair to the middle of her back. But it looked like a rats nest that particular morning. Once I lost track of the twins (age two) right before an important ball game for another one of my children. I found them hiding in their closet with Desitin ointment, happily covering each others hair and bodies with the sticky white goo. We had no time to clean properly, so off we went to the ball game and the curious glances of all those parents who had clean kids.