Catherine Musco Garcia-Prats - Good Families Dont Just Happen: What We Learned from Raising Our 10 Sons and How It Can Work for You

Copyright 1997, 2005,
Catherine Musco Garcia-Prats and Joseph A. Garcia-Prats, M.D.

All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews or articles.

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Bosco Publishing
5502 Lymbar Drive, Houston, TX 77096-5022

ISBN: 0-9763294-0-9

Printed in the United States of America

First published by Adams Media Corporation (ISBN: 1-55850-804-X)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2005920342

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To our sons,
Tony, David, Chris, Joe Pat,
Matthew, Mark, Tommy, Danny,
Jamie, and Timmy,
with love and appreciation for the joy
they have brought to our lives.

Chapter Six

F R. B RIAN Z INNAMON, S.J.
President
Strake Jesuit College Preparatory
Houston, Texas

I was standing in the middle of the Strake Jesuit school cafeteria, which was my assigned post during an open house. The school was hosting more than twelve hundred eighth graders and their families who were deciding if Jesuit was the high school for them. Open house is a night we at Jesuit attempt to be on our best behavior and survive. It is a challenge to make a huge crowd feel welcome in such a short period of time. I was the last stop on the tour and by this time many people were overwhelmed by the size of our campus and the amount of information they were expected to absorb.

In the midst of all this chaos, I met a prospective mother and her son and I suddenly realized there was something very familiar about her. I recognized her from my distant past, but as a Jesuit priest I have lived and studied in many different places. Thank goodness she remembered where we had met first. We both attended Loyola University in New Orleans some twenty years earlier. After we reminisced for a few moments, Cathy said that I would be very glad to have her son, Tony, attend our school next year. Knowing a mothers pride, I reassured her that he seemed like a very fine young man and one we would enjoy having among our students. You dont understand what I mean, Father. Tony has nine younger brothers. This is the kind of family every president of an all-boys school dreams about on nights like these. I gave her a hug and told her we were going to be very good friends for a long time.

Besides a steady enrollment prospect for the school, we have received so many benefits from knowing this family. Both Joe and Cathy have been very involved with our parents organization. They are great volunteers and participants in school projects. At least one of them attends most of their sons activities supporting not only their boys but cheering on others as well. Two of the boys have now graduated in the top quarter of their class. Tony, the oldest, was salutatorian. We have three more of the boys in school with us at this writing and all are doing very well. It is amazing to many people how well adjusted these young men are. They are on time for school each morning with their homework completed and their assignments done. They are prepared for class each day. It is a mystery to some parents who have far fewer children how this can be. Other mothers race up to school with forgotten lunches or a forgotten book. One exasperated mother exploded one morning, I cannot believe my son forgot his Spanish book at home for the third day in a row. Why does this not happen in the Garcia-Prats family?

Well, sometimes it does, but not twice. Cathy and Joe do not rescue their sons on minor things and, therefore, the boys learn responsibility and consequences at a very young age. If one forgets his lunch, he will either beg food from his friends or go hungry. If one goes hungry on Monday, he probably wont forget his lunch on Tuesday. The lesson is learned. If one forgets his homework on his desk at home, and the teacher keeps him after school to complete the assignments and he has to take the bus home because his ride left, he does not forget his assignment the next day.

Teaching children to take responsibility for their actions or suffer the consequences is a major principle in helping young people mature and develop self-esteem. Children who can do for themselves are children who feel good about themselves. Too often parents overprotect children and keep them from growing up. Cathy and Joe do not give in to peace at any price. In the Garcia-Prats family everybody has to pitch in and help. This truly amazing couple value responsibility while at the same time teach their children they are loved and how they are to love others.

The secret of this successful family is there is enough love to go around for everybody and some left over for lots of good friends as well. Cathy and Joe have made choices about their priorities and values in life. They live in a modest home. Their lifestyle is simple. They have given up the trappings of a consumeristic society. Cathy and Joe love each other and take great delight in raising their children. They provide a very healthy and happy environment in which children grow and mature. God is at the center of their lives. As you read through the chapters of this book, you will be witnessing a family in process, living very ordinary lives that become extraordinary because of their deep faith and the love they share. They respect the individual needs of their sons and see them as unique and beautiful gifts from God.

The Roman Catholic Church loves families and children. As a Catholic priest it gives me great joy to be a part of this familys life. The Church is a community of people who ideally support and love one another. This familys values center upon building a stronger community by their example and making their mark by helping others. Many wonder how they find the time. Busy people find the time to do important things and the things that they value. I suspect the Garcia-Prats family has gotten used to being stared at when they appear somewhere together. I also know they think of themselves as quite ordinary folks who love one another. Actually, the success of this family lies in their faith in God, their value in the human person, and their consistency in how they love another.

I f you bungle raising your children, I dont think whatever else you do well matters very much.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.

Pope John Paul II

When people learn we have ten children, all boys, the responses are interesting, to say the least. One woman, who met us at a party, teased Cathy, So, youre the lady with the ten boys. I heard your husband was a doctorI figured he was a brain surgeon and had given you a lobotomy! Some people actually think we are crazy. Most people look at us in disbelief. And, there are those who believe, like us, that we are truly blessed to have ten sons.

When we got married twenty-three years ago, we planned to have a big family, which to us then meant four or five children. Having ten children sort of evolved. It was not, we assure you, a continued effort to try to have a daughterthe most frequently asked question. Nor did we have ten children for religious reasons, the second frequently asked question. We are Catholic, but our Church does not teach us to have any specific number of children. It does teach us to be responsible parents, responsible parenting defined as meeting the emotional, physical, educational, and spiritual needs of a child.

Each of our sons adds a special touch to our family. We knew every time we decided to have another child that we could physically and emotionally handle the needs of the new baby as well as those of his older brothers. We often tease the boys that it is their fault we have so many kids, and, in many ways, this is true. Tony was a great kid, and then David was a great kid, and so on and so on.