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Praise for First and Only
For every Black woman who has experienced microaggressions in the workplace and had to work twice as hard as their white colleague to get that raise, Jennifer Farmers First and Only is essential reading.
Marie Claire
[Farmers] new book... uncovers some struggles women face that are often overlooked and not talked about enough.... It includes spiritual-healing tools along with insights from psychologists and organizational experts, among others, to help Black women overcome past trauma.
Black Enterprise
Jennifer R. Farmer writes a much-needed love letter to Black women looking to thrive at work and in life. First and Only is an essential resource for any career toolkit.
Minda Harts, author of The Memo
Jennifer R. Farmer is a hell of a coach, and if she is detailing what Black women are experiencing in workplaces, we should listen and then take action.
Michael Render, songwriter, activist, and rapper professionally known as Killer Mike
Jennifer R. Farmer could run a boot camp for emerging women leaders. Her coaching exudes urgency, confidence, and care. If anyone can create a trusted road map for Black women in the workplace, it is Jennifer, who has navigated tough terrain with celebrity personalities, politicians, and the good ol boys.
Rev. Dr. Brianna K. Parker, Black Millennial Cafe
Jennifer R. Farmer is an amazing voice in empowering powerful communications and storytelling to shift the narrative. A brilliant thinker with a knack for eliminating waste, she creates strategies that leverage resources for the maximal impact while cradling the sacredness of ones message. An important and necessary soul for the journey around this nation, proclaiming a new story rooted in equity and inclusion.
Rev. Ben McBride, co-director, PICO California
Jennifer R. Farmer is an insightful listener and observer of human interaction. She uses her insights to speak directly to the core issues impacting leadership. Her analysis perceptively integrates gender, race, religion, and overall worldview to offer more nuanced understandings of leadership than the one-size-fits-all approaches more commonly promoted.
Rev. Dr. Cari Jackson, author; Clergy in Residence, Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
I reached out to Jennifer R. Farmer in a time of crisis. I was a new interim executive director who was overworked and overwhelmed. Jennifer was a lifeline for me during some of my toughest moments. She had excellent practical advice, but she also brought a kindness and compassion for what I was going through. Jennifer brings a wealth of expertise and a high degree of emotional intelligence to her leadership. Shes the kind of leader that other leaders like me want to emulate.
Rev. Katey Zeh, Interim Executive Director,
Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice
A lot of people do PR, but there arent a lot of PR people who do it well. Jennifer R. Farmer is the exception. She fuses creativity with a practical and empathetic approach to solving some of the thorniest issues. I love that she is now talking about Black women and leadership. I know that in my work coaching leaders to communicate more effectively, the same rules dont apply to everyone. Ive relied on Jennifer as a trusted source for her perspective and guidance and want more people to learn from her. Our workplaces, our world, would benefit from hearing more from Jennifer R. Farmer.
Meghan Dotter, founder of Portico PR
Farmer examines the workplace for people of color, specifically Black women, and offers strategies on how to be successful.
The Wall Street Journals Business and Diversity Newsletter
Farmer gives the goods on monetizing what youre good at and owning your talents. She emphasizes that the book is not about how to get or keep a job, but how to heal yourself so you can sustain yourself. She takes a holistic approach to coaching one through the journey of overcoming traumas, maintaining hope, and finding the courage to sometimes stand alone in embracing ones power.
xoNecole.com
First and Only
What Black Women Say about Thriving in Work and in Life
Jennifer R. Farmer
Broadleaf Books
Minneapolis
FIRST AND ONLY
What Black Women Say about Thriving at Work and in Life
Copyright 2022 Jennifer R. Farmer. Printed by Broadleaf Books, an imprint of 1517 Media. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations
in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Email copyright@1517.media or write to Permissions, Broadleaf Books, PO Box 1209, Minneapolis, MN 55440-1209.
Paperback edition published in 2022. This book was originally published in a hardcover edition in 2021.
Cover image: Vectorig/istock
Cover design: LoveArts; 1517 Media
Print ISBN: 978-1-5064-8516-4
eBook ISBN: 978-1-5064-8555-3
Contents
It is time to tell it like it is.
You go into work each day knowing you must prove yourself. From what you wear, to how you style your hair, to how you talk, to what you say, to how you phrase each and every email before pushing send: you are in a constant state of proving you deserve to be there.
This is life for Black women at work. Every single day. Any therapist will tell you this state of being is exhausting and unhealthy. Yet this has been our reality.
Professionally, Black women are habitually underestimated, undervalued, and underappreciated. When we enter workspaces, we enter them knowing that we must prove ourselves. We must convince others that we are good enough, smart enough, capable enough to take on any task or challenge. It is ironic that, given our history birthing and caring for nations, we are still asked to demonstrate our value and worth. Because we often lack respect, we spend our lifetimes proving and reproving ourselves. Unfortunately, this does not get better as we age. It does not get better as we increase our education level or climb any corporate ladder. Regardless of how much we have accomplished, and despite how much we have achieved, we are continually asked to prove that we belong.
This can be psychologically tormenting. And yet many of us do not have the option of giving up or giving in. For one thing, we like to win just as much as the next person. Second, in addition to the responsibility of caring for ourselves, we are often in the sole position of caring for husbands, children, extended family members, and friends. This says nothing of the professional responsibility many of us carry as we build careers, teams, or companies. We come alone, yet we shoulder the burden of many.
It is time to progress, and First and Only is that first step.
As Black women, we are often the first and only: the first and only Black woman in the boardroom, the first and only Black woman on the school board, the first and only Black woman as vice-president in a company. First and only can be a lonely, scary, unsafe place to be. Having been a trailblazer on so many paths over her long career, Jennifer R. Farmer has been both the first and the only. Jennifer is asking us to acknowledge where we are positioned in our work lives, with all its limitations and possibilities, and dare to imagine different outcomes. She is inviting us to reclaim our power and our joy by looking at the facts and moving on from there.
First and Only is asking us to progress, even when bowed over with fear. As Audre Lorde said, When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid. Audre is saying, as Jennifer is saying, that to be powerful is not to live with the absence of fear. It is to move forward despite it. It is to come out on the other side. This book speaks to how we come out whole on the other side. It gives us permission to see our humanity, beauty, intellect, vision, and strength.