Grace Cornish - 10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Womens Lives

One of the finest self-help books available for women and men. Dr. Ruth, watch out, Dr. Laura, move over. Dr. Grace is in.

Atlanta Daily World

10 Bad Choices is a certified gold mine for African-American men and women looking for common-sense solutions to our relationship problems.

Tony Patrick, Black Men magazine

In a market full of gender war books, Dr. Grace stands out peacefully, daring to speak the truth about love and relationships. Her voice is a soothing blend of compassion, eloquence, wit, and charm.

William July, author of Brothers, Lust, and Love

Dr. Grace Cornishs unflinching belief that black men and women can, shouldand, with the right tools, docherish one another informs her work. Her sassy, sisterly wisdom makes her a favorite with readers and television viewers.

Claire McIntosh, senior editor, Essence

10 Bad Choices is a must-read for women who want meaningful relationships. This book is insightful and very informative. Its important for us to read stories about women who have been there, done that!

Chrisena Coleman, author of Just Between Girlfriends

Dr. Grace leaves no stone unturned with her truthful insights. Thorough, no-nonsense, savvy advice!

Debrena Jackson Gandy, author of Sacred Pampering Principles

10 Bad Choices is a much-needed reality check and dose of tough love that should prove beneficial for women of all races.

Kate Ferguson, editor in chief, Todays Black Women

Three cheers for Dr. Grace Cornish for her wisdom, knowledge, and insight into the human conditions that nurture good, stable, male and female relationships. This is a must-read resource book capable of changing and enhancing relationships at any stage of development.

Gilbert M. Lane, inventor of Flagships, a childrens learning game

This is a book every woman should read. It is spiritual, enlightening, educational, and it is real. Its like having your very own analyst in a tote bag.

E. J. Davis, St. John Missionary Baptist Church, Chicago

This book is a blueprint for black women who seek a balanced, healthy relationship.

Dr. Rosie Milligan, author of Satisfying Black Men/Women Sexually Made Simple

An excellent healing tool for all women!

Donetta Dunbar, Omaha World-Herald

Dr. Grace Cornishs book is a get real document. She removes the idea that life is a dress rehearsal and puts the reader in charge of her selection process.

Dr. Gwendolyn Goldsby Grant, author of The Best Kind of Loving: A Black Womans Guide to Finding Intimacy

Dr. Grace gives us Sisters hope in the time of healing. Thank you, Grace, for helping us find our way.

Rolanda Watts, entertainer and talk-show host

10 Bad Choices is long overdue! Through it Dr. Grace empowers black women to make healthy relationship choices, with strong, honest, caring, and loving black men looking for the same.

K. Thomas Oglesby, author of What Black Men Should Do Now

This book frames what women need to be mindful of to reach the goal of romantic fulfillment.

Dr. Sonia R. Banks, psychotherapist

Dr. Cornish offers sound advice and welcome reminders on how to avoid the pitfalls that stand in the way of lovefor ourselves and others.

Yanick Rice Lamb, editorial director, BET Weekend and Heart & Soul magazines

Copyright 1998 by Grace Cornish

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Three Rivers Press, New York, New York.
Member of the Crown Publishing Group.

Random House, Inc. New York, Toronto, London, Sydney, Auckland
www.randomhouse.com

THREE RIVERS PRESS is a registered trademark and the Three Rivers Press colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

Originally published in hardcover by Crown Publishers in 1998.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cornish, Grace.
10 bad choices that ruin black womens lives / by Dr. Grace Cornish.1st ed. 1. African-American womenLife skills guides. 2. Man-woman relationships. I. Title.

E185.86.C582145 1998
305.48896073dc21 98-11062

eISBN: 978-0-307-77451-4

v3.1

This book is dedicated to you.

My mothers death is the foundation upon which this book was created. My beautiful, young, and compassionate mother was murdered by an obsessive and controlling ex-lover on July 11, 1972, one month shy of her twenty-ninth birthday. She was a gorgeous international runway and print model who was one of the first black women to model for the Paris-based fashion house Givenchy, the London-based Harrods department store, and New York-based Bloomingdales department store. When she ended the relationship with her abusive lover, he shot her six times in the head. She died instantly. Then he reloaded the gun and killed himself. I was ten years old and witnessed the incident.

Twenty years later, my mothers sister, a smart, financially secure nurse, was also murdered by a jealous and controlling mate. He stabbed her repeatedly, forty times in all, on March 17, 1992, her fiftieth birthday.

Both my mother and Aunt Gloria were attractive, intelligent, and independent black women who made bad choices in their personal relationships that ultimately robbed them of their lives.

Today, far too many black women are still being robbed of wholesome and happy lives due to bad relationship choices. National statistics reflect that six out of every ten black women are in either poor relationships, man-sharing situations, or no relationship at all. This includes sisters from varying economic, educational, and social backgrounds. The problem is not the sisters themselves, but the bad choices they keep making for themselves.

My mothers death had a significant effect on me. At that young age, I knew I would someday dedicate my life to helping people rid themselves of anxiety, despondency, and frustration and replace those feelings with hope, joy, and peace of mind. I didnt want anyone to lose their life like my mother had, or any child to feel the loss, pain, and detachment I experienced.

Aunt Glorias death has inspired me even further. It led me to take a definite stand and carry out the responsibility of helping women and men improve their lives and prevent disaster by instilling in them self-worth, balance, and compatibility.

This book is designed to expose the emotional, social, and psychological roadblocks we unconsciously place in the way of our own successand provide the tools for tearing down these barriers that are messing up or taking sisters lives.

I hope that in reading this book you will discover that you are not alone, and that you will be able to free yourself from past disasters, correct present mistakes, and prevent future mishaps.

This book was written for you. It will guide you to successfully face and remove the obstacles that are keeping you from getting the healthy and loving relationship you deserve to have.