Jean Oelwang - Partnering: Forge the Deep Connections That Make Great Things Happen

Partnering captures the magic of our partnership, and many others. One plus one = more done and more fun.

Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group, and Peter Gabriel, musician; cocreators of The Elders

Our partnership of over sixty-six years has made us who we are in this world and helped us to weather the atrocities of apartheid. Because of each other, our lives have been filled with love, joy and meaning. In Partnering, Jean brings to life the true spirit of Ubuntu.

Archbishop Desmond and Leah Tutu

The relationships in our lives are one of the key ingredients to thriving in this world. Partnering reveals how we can nurture these essential connections. An important book for a disconnected world.

Arianna Huffington, founder and CEO of Thrive Global

Our seventy-five-year marriage has been the most important thing in our lives. Partnering highlights the secrets of enduring partnerships like ours.

Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, thirty-ninth president and first lady of the United States of America and cofounders of The Carter Center

If you want to do something bigger, something meaningful for others, read Partnering.

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerrys

Great relationships are the wellspring of happiness at home, success at work, and wisdom in life. Jean Oelwang is remarkably gifted at building themshes worked closely with many of the most dynamic duos of our time. Her book is filled with uplifting stories and practical takeaways for building stronger partnerships.

Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife

Partnering inspires us to reimagine our disconnected and divided world for the better. A practical blueprint for meaningful connections and successful collaborations.

Mary Robinson, former president of Ireland and chair of The Elders

This is a book about trust. The ability to trust others, and the ability to trust ourselves enough to be worthy of going on a journey with someone else.

Seth Godin, author of The Practice

Building relationships across divides has never been more important. Partnering gives an insiders view from people who have forged these critical partnerships across political, religious, cultural, and so many other differences that need to be bridged. A critical read for anyone who wants to live a meaningful life and wants to make a positive difference through collaboration.

Van Jones, CNN host, author, and founder of Dream Corps

Effective relationships are critical to doing almost anything of real importance in the worldand this is even truer in our interdependent age. Partnering captures wisdom and insights from many types of partnerships.

Jacqueline Novogratz, founder and CEO of Acumen, and Chris Anderson, curator of TED

Partnering is a spark of hope and a guide for a relationship reset in the world, reconnecting us to whats importanteach other.

Wade Davis and Carroll Dunham, anthropologists

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Ebury is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.

First published in the United States by Optimism Press in 2022
First published in the United Kingdom by Ebury Edge in 2022

This edition published by arrangement with Portfolio, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, division of Penguin Random House LLC

Copyright Plus Wonder 2022

The photos Reflected Rocks, Stone Circle, Snow Infinity, Floating Stones, 2000 Circles, Synergy, Water Cycle Three, and Interconnected are used with permission of Martin Hill and Philippa Jones.

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Cover design AKQA

Book design by Alexis Farabaugh

The author will donate her proceeds from Partnering to the charitable organisation Plus Wonder.

ISBN: 978-1-473-59821-8

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

To the ozone community, whose deep connections and moral courage saved humanity.

To my parents (Mary and Bob), my in-laws (Nancy and Jim), and my husband (Chris) for their unconditional love.

This book is filled with collective wisdom from people who have built deep, meaningful connections that have changed their lives and the lives of so many others for the better. With great thanks to them for their honesty, love, laughter, and wonder. They are the true authors of the wisdom in this book (although any mistakes are all mine).

This book is a celebration of co-creation. It would not exist without a collective who believed in the idea and who worked alongside me for years. The mentions of I in this book are really the we of this group. With great thanks for their wondrous partnership: Andrea Brenninkmeijer, Joann McPike, Ellie Kanner, Kelly Hallman, John Stares, Shannon Sedgwick Davis, Cindy Mercer, Todd Holcomb, Keith Yamashita, Mich Ahern, and Lisa Weeks Valiant.

The vision is clear: to build a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are, and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. And the best way for us to advance toward this vision is together. But theres a problem

Most people already know the importance of teamwork, cooperation, and building strong working relationships to get things done (and there have been countless books and articles written that drive home the point and teach us the skills to do those things). But there is another kind of relationship that gets less attention. A kind of relationship that is essential to advance any cause of value. A kind of relationship that goes much deeper than even some of the highest functioning teams and the most productive working relationships. That of the partnership.

I hesitate to even call these magical unions partnerships because the word actually does these relationships a disservice. A partnership is a noun, a thing. Two people may have a partnership or be in one, but for a partnership to reap the true benefits of the dynamic, it must be active. It must be a verb. A daily practice. To advance something greater than ourselves we must learn to partner.

Partnering is an exploration of these deeper, more enduring kinds of relationships. Many of them look more like marriages than professional relationships (and some of them are marriages). What they all have in common, however, is the willingness of both parties to completely open up themselves to their partner and to invest in deepening their relationship. This is why they not only last, but why they work.