Sophia A. Nelson - Be the One You Need: 21 Life Lessons I Learned While Taking Care of Everyone but Me

Bestselling Author of The Woman Code

Sophia A. Nelson

Be the One You Need

21 Life Lessons I Learned While Taking Care of Everyone but Me

A powerful and soul-stirring must-read for everyone.

DeVon Franklin, New York Times bestselling author and Hollywood producer

All too often, women have a hard time putting themselves first. We are so busy giving and doing for others that we feel guilty about taking time for ourselves. In Be the One You Need, Sophia lays out a roadmap for prioritizing ourselves and shows us that meaningful self-care, regardless of your age, is about being able to help yourself so you can truly love and help others.

Mika Brzezinski, bestselling author, founder of Know Your Value, co-host of Morning Joe

As women, we often put ourselves last. As Black women, we always put ourselves last. Sophia challenges all of us to change thatand put a deeper, more meaningful self-care and soul care regimen into practice so that only then can we fill the cup of others we love to the fullest.

Rev. Dr. Bernice A. King, CEO, the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change

Be the One You Need is about looking after yourself first. If we run ourselves ragged, were no use to anyone. Its not something anyone should feel guilty aboutSophia Nelson gets that.

Katty Kay, former BBC news anchor, journalist NBC News, and bestselling author of The Confidence Code

We all need self-care, men and women alike. Be the One You Need offers a wonderful blueprint to face the challenge of these difficult days and to be deliberate in seeking your joy.

Eddie S. Glaude, Jr., Princeton University professor and author of Begin Again: James Baldwins America and Its Urgent Lessons for Our Own

As a leader, I cannot recommend Be the One You Need more highly. Sophia has used a combination of her personal experiences to give us 21 powerful life lessons. Every corporate and industry leader, educator, and organization looking to create healthier work environments needs to read this book. She gives us a pathway to deeper self-care habits that last a lifetime and inspires us to take our own personal power back.

Col. Nicole Malachowski (USAF, Ret.), speaker and first female pilot to fly with the Thunderbirds

Be the One You Need is not a call to be selfish, its about practicing self-love as you ask yourself what you want, what you need, and how you feelits about putting your own self-care first.

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, author of The Change Guidebook and CEO of The Best Ever You Network

Be the One You Need is the much-needed self-care guide needed to survive the COVID era. In this book, Nelson gives us a roadmap to create healthier lifestyle choices that will take us through the current pandemic and shows us how to do the hard work that heals our hurtsand allows us to soar.

Anushay Hossain, author, The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women

What do I want? What do I need? How do I feel? These are three questions author Sophia Nelson forces us to reckon with time and time again in this powerful, poignant, and punch-packing book on radical self-care for the soul as well as for the mind and body.

The Hon. Kay Coles James, former president of The Heritage Foundation, former director, US Office of Personnel Management, and member Womens Suffrage Centennial Commission

Whether it is in politics or spirituality, Sophia Nelson tells the truth. In Be the One You Need, the truth is that we cant love others until we love ourselves. But loving ourselves is surprisingly hardso she gives us an honest pep talk, a trustworthy map, and a shoulder to cry on. We all need her vulnerable wisdom right now.

Dr. Diana Butler Bass, award-winning author of Freeing Jesus and Grateful, and one of Americas most trusted commentators on religion and contemporary spirituality

I commend Sophia Nelson on her transparency. It takes real courage to admit we dont care for ourselves with the same love as we care for others. I found Be the One You Need to be a powerful and soul-stirring book that carefully and thoughtfully helps us learn how to service ourselves so we can be of even better service to others. This is a must-read for everyone, especially those looking to live a life of true freedom and greater peace.

DeVon Franklin,New York Times bestselling author and Hollywood producer

Authors Note

Actual names, dates, and locations have been changed to protect peoples identities and privacy where needed.

To my Front Row Love Council

A lthough it has changed some over the past three decades, I would be nowhere and nothing without your constant love, counsel, and support.

Dani

Soror TJ

Soror Nicole

Soror Kim Reed

Soror Rev. Wise

Soror Lesleigh

Dr. Sabrina

Soror Markey

Soror Chelle

Soror Katina

Andy Morris

Andrea Agnew

Soror Trish

PJ & Lauren Riner

Vanessa

Shonny

Soror Pastor Renee

Dishan

Dee

Talaya

Tamyko

Mrs. C. & Angie

Kay C. James

My aunts (Belinda, Debbie, Sharon, Brenda, and Evelyn)

Crystal Smith

Last, but not least, my mother Sandria A. Nelson

self care [noun] . [self - kair]

The practice of taking action to preserve or improve ones own health;

the practice of taking an active role in protecting ones own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

F irst and foremost, to my literary agents, Leticia Gomez and Claudia Menza, I am so blessed to have you representing me and working with me on every book. Onward we go to the next one!

To my publisher, HCI Books, thank you for working so hard on this book. I adore Christine Belleris, Christian Blonshine, and Lindsey Mach; and Larissa Henoch is the best designer and graphics person on earth. You all made a challenging production schedule (my fault) a joy to work through. Thank you!

To Gilda Squire and team, thank you for being the best publicists in the business.

To Denise and Todd Chavers, for allowing me to write this book in your beautiful and quiet farmhouse in Virginia when I needed to get awayI only wish I could have stayed out there for four months. Next time. Next book!

To my younger, wiser sisters of Millennials, Gen Y, and Gen Z: Roxy, Impana, Kerri, Stephanie, Jana, Anushay, and so many others whom I mentor and by whom I enjoy being reversed mentored. I am proud of you. I am blessed to have you in my life, too! Keep shining. I am here if you need me. To some of the newer women in my ROWprofessionally and otherwisewelcome! I look forward to our shared journey.

To Mika and the Morning Joe team and The Sunday Show team, for always supporting me on air and off. I appreciate you! Thank you to the CNN