Jennifer McCartney - The Little Book of Alpaca Philosophy

HarperCollinsPublishers

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London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by HarperCollins in 2020

FIRST EDITION

Text and poetry Jennifer McCartney 2020

Illustrations Clare Faulkner 2020

All poetry is the authors own unless otherwise stated

Cover layout design HarperCollinsPublishers 2020

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

Jennifer McCartney asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

The author and publishers cannot be held responsible for any errors and omissions that may be found in the text, or any actions that may be taken by a reader as a result of any reliance on the information contained in the text which is taken entirely at the readers own risk. This book should not be used as an alternative to seeking specialist medical advice which should be sought before any action is taken.

While every effort has been made to trace the owners of copyright material reproduced herein and secure permissions, the publishers would like to apologise for any omissions and will be pleased to incorporate missing acknowledgments in any future edition of this book.

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Source ISBN: 9780008392567

Ebook Edition September 2020 ISBN: 9780008392574

Version: 2020-07-28

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.

Saint Francis de Sales

Giving thanks for the ability to cross my legs in such an adorable manner.

Alpacas love the journey. Theres nothing more fun than being on the way to somewhere else.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. Its all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

Joan Rivers

The world is a busy place. Theres lots of stuff going on that we all care about the climate crisis, getting good grades and good jobs, washing behind our ears.

In a world of serious overachievers, opinion-havers, Insta-posters and posers with must-read hot takes and commentary on everything and everyone, it can be tough to be a person who likes to just chill and observe. It feels like youre not accomplishing much. Youre not contributing to the cacophony, taking a stand or standing out. And youre certainly not building an audience. Or a brand. Or whatever else it is were all supposed to be doing in order to be successful these days. Because the plugged-in people, the ones with the most opinions, are held in the highest regard look how much they post, contribute, succeed! And were socialised to try and keep up with all the noise, lest we appear uninformed, uncaring or simply uncool.

Remaining zen on public transport. We can all aspire to this.

But there are loads of us out there people who prefer to read up, make plans, have lengthy, face-to-face discussions, rather than brief online interactions. People who like to consider all the angles, other peoples feelings, the past and what that means for the future. People who prefer to move a bit more slowly and considerately through the world or would like to. People who prefer conversations to declarations, long walks to short sprints and the whole bottle rather than just a quick glass. People who prefer the book to the movie (the longer the book, the better). People who dont mind unplugging and taking a walk, once in a while; who always want the full story and thoughtful analysis; and who always seem a little bit chill, unflappable. Those who dont mind a bit of a grey area or some nuance; the ones who want to rise above the fray, just a little bit, and take the long view. These are the alpaca people: the ones who stand a little bit apart from the madness. And we can learn a lot from them.

Luckily, the alpaca philosophy is here to teach us. It is the secret to living a better, deeper, more fulfilling life. Or at least to chilling out just a tiny bit.

Why alpacas? Because alpacas are the best, most resilient and most interesting animals on the planet. More contemplative than the relaxed sloth, more discerning than the playful otter, the alpaca is like the Dalai Llama of animals. Until now, theyve taken a back seat to more flashy creatures (looking at you, nonsensical unicorn), but The Little Book of Alpaca Philosophy seeks to change all that, and introduce these incredible animals and their wisdom to the world at large.

Generally, the alpaca is erudite and kind. A bit of an individual (meaning a tad weird). Observant and mellow. It lives a domesticated life of quiet contemplation high in the mountains of South America. A life of reflection. Empathy. Gentle interactions with its fellow herd members. Alpacas are also big on using body language to communicate, which means theyre not online a lot. And theyve been domesticated for thousands of years, so theyre used to getting along with one another, coexisting peacefully with other alpacas and humans alike. Theyre also neat and organised (helpful when youre living with others) and theyre easily trained as long as youve got food as a reward. Theyve also got great hair. What better role model is there?

On this reading journey (light walking shoes required, and perhaps a thin jacket nothing too strenuous involved here) youll learn some alpaca science and the benefits of serving others (spitting on others, too, on rare occasions), along with quotes, original poetry and quizzes to help you reach a higher plane. With chapters on health and happiness, love and friendship, leisure and pleasure, work and school and home and the universe, youll learn how best to incorporate the alpaca philosophy into every aspect of your life. Learn the value of watching and waiting, of observation, analysis, meditation and empathy, as opposed to frantic flailing. Plus, the CLIMB method offers a quick and easy way to help you rise above it all.

The alpaca philosophy is urgently needed today. It will resonate with anyone whos longing to expand their outlook, all those who are desperate for a deeper, more reflective and less urgent life and everyone who is searching for a kinder, more loving existence. And, of course, alpacas are very fuzzy. So the alpaca philosophy is also about softening our edges, embracing empathy, kindness and woollen jumpers. Because who can feel overwhelmed or upset while wearing a woolly jumper?

These furry little fuzz units have a lot to teach us so read on to learn how the alpaca philosophy can help you find a bit of peace and perspective in an overpowering world. Come and hang with the herd. Theyve been waiting for you. Lets rejoice in the wisdom of these weird little mountain camels!