Tim Scott - The Friendship Challenge: A Six-Week Guide to True Reconciliation-One Friendship at a Time

Visit Tyndale online at www.tyndale.com.

Visit Tyndale Momentum online at www.tyndalemomentum.com.

TYNDALE, Tyndale Momentum, and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. The Tyndale Momentum logo is a trademark of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Tyndale Momentum is the nonfiction imprint of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois.

The Friendship Challenge: A Six-Week Guide to True Reconciliation One Friendship at a Time

Copyright 2018 by Timothy Scott and Harold Watson Gowdy III. All rights reserved.

Cover illustration of cross copyright by Bigfish/Lightstock. All rights reserved.

Designed by Mark Anthony Lane II

Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group, www.wordserveliterary.com.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Tyndale House Publishers at , or call 1-800-323-9400.

ISBN 978-1-4964-3068-7

ISBN 978-1-4964-3070-0 (ePub); ISBN 978-1-4964-3069-4 (Kindle); ISBN 978-1-4964-3071-7 (Apple)

Build: 2018-02-01 15:50:07 EPUB 3.0.1

OVER THE PAST SEVERAL YEARS, the very foundation of our melting-pot society in America has been shaken ironically, by our differences. For generations, people have come to the land of opportunity to forge a new way of life. They have embraced the American ideals of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and have blended their distinct cultural strengths and values into the larger free society. It has never been perfect, and there have certainly been some rocky points along the way, but generally it has worked out for the common good, and our nation has been strengthened by our united pursuit of harmony within diversity. But lately it seems as if an increasing number of people are choosing to distinguish themselves based on identity or ideology. Weve always been a nation of different people living alongside one another, but now it seems as if weve become more interested in dividing over our differences than in learning how to get along.

One thing I have learned from my time in Washington, DC, is that conflict is a business model. It sells. But it doesnt solve anything. If we want to move from our current conflict-driven environment to one that is based more on contrast that is, an appropriate and necessary recognition of our differences, but without the anger, frustration, and intentional divisiveness that come with conflict we must first recognize that most people have most things in common. It doesnt make sense that we tend to run toward the things that divide us, while skipping over all the things we agree on.

People often look to government to solve problems in our society. But even though we can pass laws to compel people to change their conduct, no piece of legislation can change someones heart. Theres no law that can make people care about each other. That has to come from someplace other than government. To me, that someplace else is friendship.

I believe that friendship has the best chance of transforming our world. If we will just take the time to hear other people out, seek first to understand, and work together toward mutually agreeable solutions, we have a chance to make a positive difference in each others lives and in the world around us. We may still disagree strongly about some issues, but if we will commit ourselves to being friends at the beginning of the conversation and friends at the end of the conversation, no matter what, we can work through our differences.

The great things we all want for our future wont happen in Washington, DC. But they can happen in small groups and in local settings where relationships are built. Thats the genius of who we are as human beings. Thats the genius of how our Creator wired us. We are hardwired for relationships, and as we connect with each other, we find the miracle of problem-solving and reconciliation in the midst of those connections.

In Matthew 18:20, Jesus says, Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Thats a powerful formula.

I am very hopeful about our future as a nation, but real and lasting change can begin only through committed friendships that reach across lines of division. I agree with Trey that politics is not how were going to change the world. We can change the world only by changing peoples hearts through the transforming power of love. The Bible is very clear that love is not just an emotion; it is a commandment and a commitment. Friendship is born out of the principles of unconditional love and acceptance. Love and acceptance are not situational. They are consistent.

We open the door to reconciliation when we become willing to step outside our comfort zones and try some things that may seem awkward at first such as initiating a conversation with someone who is different from us. Most of the exciting adventures Ive had didnt start off being fun they were hard. But whats hard becomes easier, so lets be willing to do the hard things so we can enjoy the benefits, rather than doing only the easy things and paying the price.

In the coming days, I hope our nation will continue to be a beacon of hope and opportunity for the world to see. And I hope the church will be at the forefront, finding ways to come together and reveal the true meaning of the body of Christ. Different parts, different likes, different passions, different perspectives, without question; but all woven together by the thread of love and unconditional acceptance of one another. Love and acceptance are also what enable us to share the gospel in fresh, new ways with words, without words everywhere we go, and with everyone we meet.

With our book, Unified: How Our Unlikely Friendship Gives Us Hope for a Divided Country, and with this discussion guide, Trey and I encourage you to take the first step. Our hope is that you will not only change your own life, but also open the door for other people to change theirs.

In this six-week study, we will encourage you from our own experience to form intentional relationships with people who are different from you. In the process, you will discover the power of unlikely friendships friendships that can transform your life, your community, and maybe even the world. Whether the lines of division in your life are racial, religious, ideological, or even something as simple as a difference in age or experience, we will show you how to pursue reconciliation by learning how to listen to, understand, and build rapport with people who at first may seem to have little in common with you.

This workbook is designed for both personal and group study. To get the most out of your small group meetings, we suggest that all members work through the chapters on their own each week before coming together for discussion with the group. We have intentionally packed a lot into each session, to encourage your engagement with and reflection on the topics of friendship and reconciliation. Group leaders and members can decide which questions (and how many) to discuss in each session, depending on the length of your meeting and the composition of your group.