Amy B. Rogers - Speaking with Confidence

Not everyone you meet at school is going to become your best friend but its still important to speak to them with respect and empathy, while respecting yourself too.

Public speaking is an important life skill, and its good to practice it at school.

The words we use when we speak are only one of the ways we communicate our thoughts and feelings to those around us. Another important form of communication is nonverbal communication, which is also known as body language. Nonverbal communication involves the facial expressions we make, the gestures we use, the way we stand, and even our tone of voice. In some cases, these enhance the message were sending with our words. In other cases, they reveal our true feelings when our words are saying something else.

For example, if youre running for class president, you might give a speech in which you say youre happy to be addressing your classmates. However, if youre looking down with your shoulders hunched while nervously drumming your fingers on the podium, you wont look happy. Youll look nervous and unsure. Body language is such a big part of communication that people often take the messages it sends as the truth over someones words whenever those two things contradict each other.

Paying attention to your body language is a big part of speaking with confidence. If you notice that you play with your hair when youre nervous, you can take that awareness and change that habit to appear more confident. You can hold your hands at your sides instead of playing with your hair. This makes you look less anxious.

Speaking in front of a mirror or asking a trustworthy friend to point out any nervous gestures can help you realize the little things you do without even thinking about them that might cause you to appear less confident in conversation. Then, you can work to change those habits and replace them with ones that make you look and feel more sure of yourself.

One of the most important parts of a group or partner project is clearly communicating the roles each person needs to fulfill. If you feel your strengths would make you a good fit for a certain part of the project, share that with the person or people youre working with. For example, if part of the project involves making a video and you enjoy making short movies on your computer, you can let your group members know that youd like to take charge of that part of the assignment.

As the roles are being assigned, make sure theyre being assigned evenly so no one ends up with too much work. If you feel youve been given an unfair workload or a task youre not comfortable with, speak up right away. This can keep you from falling behind or resenting your group members later. In addition, once youre given your task, verify it with your other group members to make sure you know exactly what your job is and when you need to have it done, and if one of your group members asks you about their responsibilities, clearly outline their role and any dates they need to remember for deadlines.

Sometimes, even if the workload is divided fairly at the beginning, someone falls behind on their part or doesnt contribute as you thought they would. When approaching a classmate who has fallen behind on their part of a project, dont belittle them. They may be confused or overwhelmed and too embarrassed to approach you or ask for help. Instead, approach them from a place of empathy and ask if they need help or have any questions about their part of the assignment. If they are simply looking for someone else to take over their work, though, its important to firmly remind them what they need to do and what date they need to have it done by. Stick to the facts and the plan you established when the assignment was given, and dont raise your voice or let your anger keep you from clearly communicating what needs to be done. If you have to bring the teacher into the discussion, which can sometimes happen, stay calm and focused on the project at hand and not your clashing personalities.