James Collins - How to Talk to Anyone About Any Topic: Master Small Talk, Make Real Friends, Understand Self Confidence and Develop Deep Relationships (Communication Skills Training Book 2)

Friendship is based on the oldest and most intrinsic human awareness that there is more to life than just ourselves. Christopher Hansard

When I was a child, I had no friends. It may sound strange to a lot of you. What does a life without friends look like? To be honest, it was pretty lonely. I would go to school, get work done, come home, study, go to bed, and the cycle would repeat, day after day, in a ruthless monotony that refused to let up.

A year back, I met one of my closest friends (yes, as I grew, I learned to make them) for lunch. As we were sipping our sangrias and enjoying a scrumptious Italian pasta bake, she looked at me and laughed. Surprised, I asked her whether there was sauce on my face (Italian food is so delicious, but I can be a bit messy when I am too involved in my meal!).

She smiled and said, No, no. Its not that. I was just thinking how you were a decade or so back! I absolutely hated you, and if my past self would have known that we would become such good friends, she would be shocked!

I stared at her for a full minute, surprised out of my eating daze. Really? What was so different about me then?

You didnt know? I would have guessed that it was intentional on your part because you didnt have friends!

I huffed, a bit annoyed. Well, yes, but I thought that had something to do with being a lonely kid who didnt know how to talk to others.

No, silly, she laughed again. How would we know that you had troubles being socially confident or friendly? We all jacked it up to the idea that you were too proud and that you always felt you were better than the rest of us. Youd come to class, give all the correct answers, make us feel like dimwits, then leave without even so much looking back or trying to make conversation. We thought you were like this on purpose!

Dear reader, believe me, I was shocked. It had never struck me that the issue, somewhere, was with me and how I projected myself . I simply thought that the problem lay with the society at large, that people were mean and unkind, and no one cared about me. I did not stop to think that I had any role to play in this. It was as if a whole new world had opened in front of my eyes, a world in which I understood that there are far too many out there who have suffered, or are suffering, the very plight that I did.

At that moment, I knew that I had to reach out and help, however I could.

So, here we are.

Let me ask you something. Are you someone who wants to engage more productively within your social circles, but you have no idea where to begin? You look at others who seem to have all the friends and all the limelight, and you wistfully wonder what is it about these people that makes them so lovable and so prone to being accepted, while you are left in the shadows, feeling awkward and unsure of how to make even one good friend.

In its simplest and most rudimentary form, communication involves the act of transferring information from a source to a recipient, in a cycle that activates a productive interaction between both parties.

When you think about it, communication is not just dependent on the words you speak. You may be the best speaker in the whole world, but you will not have a single friend unless you are able to mold your body language into something that draws people in. True communication requires you to establish connections not with just words, but with your whole body, including your facial expressions.

Learning to communicate effectively is one of the most important life skills you will ever instill. Unfortunately, they dont teach you these things in a conventional academic curriculum. Schools and colleges will not teach you how to speak well, how to mold your body language so that people dont find you hostile, and how you can learn to truly communicate.

These are skills that are learned, from our families, from the environment surrounding us, and from our own reluctance or receptiveness to whatever is going on around us.

If you look at the wider arena of life, you will see that each and every aspect of it is touched by communication. From your professional lives to the interactions and relationships you form in your personal lives, everything is mandated on how you communicate. A simple difference in body language can help prevent a fight between friends or partners or a tiff at work, or can worsen it.

Good communication skills are important for any project where you need to communicate and cooperate with others because they will help you to put forward a vision to your goals and to help prepare for everything in advance. If you work in the service industry, the importance of communication comes through in how you interact with your customers and other individuals. For example, if you are in the healthcare industry, communication is a key agent in establishing a trustworthy relationship between your patients and you.

Even when you are interviewing for a job, good communication skills play a significant role in ensuring that you come across as someone who is self-assured, committed, and worthy of the post. If you are in a business environment, communication is important for you to build good relationships with different hierarchies, motivate those around you, and work toward success as an organization.