Matt Morris - Small Talk Method: Communication Skills To Win Friends, Talk To Anyone, and Always Know What To Say

Small Talk Method

Communication Skills To Win Friends, Talk To Anyone, and Always Know What To Say

Matt Morris

Table of Contents

Copyright 2014 by Globalized Healing, LLC - All rights reserved.

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Introduction

Small talk. It is an uncomfortable, awkward, superficial way of communicating that is considered a waste of time and at the same time, a necessity to communication. It is more than an art. It is a science. When you combine the two, it becomes a mixture of colorful options in which you can choose what to say based on your creativity, personal experiences, and the method (or formula) that will soon be laid in front of you.

Take life by the balls and jump into the fire, initiating small talk or words to ignite a conversation to reach the point where a listener feels compelled and excited to talk to you, that isif you want to continue talking to this person. If you dont learn to do this, youll watch your life sail by and then youll wake up one day thinking, What if I had talked to this or that person? Where would I be today? These thoughts surround the small talk that ignites 99% of all new relationships; networking events to advance your career; small talking with your boss, clients, or even your neighbor to fill the awkward silence as you pass each other every few days.

Small talk can be a tailspin of regurgitated jumble that exits the mouth on a daily basis; or it can be words which flow in a fashion similar to a breathtaking Monet painting that leads to fulfilling conversations and a life filled with possibility.

Most people engage in small talk without thinking about it. For example, whenever you enter a grocery store and make eye contact with a worker and he asks, Hi, how are you?, the words are simply on autopilot; and your autopilot might be to say Good. Then you go on with your lives, never really making that genuine connection that makes life so wonderful and rewarding. What if you were to turn the small talk into a simple system and connect with him in a matter of minutes so that each time you entered the grocery store he knew your name, and was happy to see you?

What if you had the ability to connect with the store clerk about how strange the weather has been with the ungodly amounts of rain in the past week, and become friends in a matter of minutes; or the next time you see your neighbor on his lawn he invites you over for dinner with his family instead of just saying Hows it going?; or what if the next time youre in a dentists waiting room you choose to have small talk with the stranger next to you and fill the empty space of worrying thoughts with ones of how you both own Weimaraner dogs and the new doggie park that just opened near your home?

The ability to connect with others and form relationships with others keeps life fun, adventurous, and exciting. Therefore, mastering the skill of small talk is a challenging one, yet one that is admired by many, and important for living and being successful in todays world.

The small talk method will show you how to talk to anybody, win friends and always have something to say. You will discover a plethora of tips, insight and wisdom about how you can become a master at small talk with The Small Talk Method .

Some of the strategies offered in this book might seem totally off-the-wall, wacky, or even mildly humorous, asking you to step way outside of your box. I encourage you to try each of the strategies with a perspective of just having fun, not only because it will exponentially improve your small-talk abilities, but more so because you will grow as an individual and determine what works best for you, and what does not.

By the end of this book, I want you to look back at these questions, and think to yourself, Small talk is simple, fun, and improves my life everyday. Lets get started!

Chapter 1: Put On Your Small Talk Helmet

Small talk is like the starting point to a maze. You entered the maze and now you have to decide which route is best for you. You can choose Path A and use it to let the time pass; Path B to fill any dead air and avoid awkward silences; or Path C to lead to deeper, meaningful conversations.

In most cases, it is with a person whom you just met or have had very little previous interaction. It is how conversations begin when you are sitting next to someone in a waiting room, a classroom, or on an airplane. The words, Hi. Where are you from? can open a door to a thousand conversations, or you can decide to shut it depending on how the person responds and what you want.

Small talk is the core essence of how 99% of all relationships are formed. From a random-topic of conversation such as the warm weather in San Diego to a profound, meaningful one such as why there are still bits of racism around the world, or how technology is killing natural communication. The beauty of conversation is that it stimulates a wide range of electrifying emotions, opening minds and bringing a new level of understanding between people and cultures.

Small talk sets the foundation for building a deep, meaningful connection with another person. Therefore, it is also an important skill that people should master so that they can simply reach in their back pocket to use as needed anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

Before we jump into the tips and strategies for small talk, lets first take a look at the value of small talk. Here are a few reasons why making small talk can enhance your life.

• Small talk will boost your intelligence.

According to research done by the researchers at the University of Michigan, it is said that a friendly socialization can enhance ones ability to comprehend and solve problems. This is proven by Oscar Ybarra, a well-known psychologist. He said that social interactions let people read and understand the minds of other people so that we as humans can function more effectively in society.

It also forces you to think faster. When someone asks you a question when youre not expecting one, it will require you to think on your feet to organize and present ideas rapidly.

• Small talk will improve your self-confidence.

Approaching strangers and knowing what to say is a challenging task. However, by making small talk a regular part of your day, and repetitively engaging in small talk, your confidence in your social abilities will significantly increase. In addition, small talk will give you the opportunity to connect with others on an emotional level, increasing your confidence in your ability to understand others.

• Small talk will make you attentive and a better listener.

If you are conversing with other people, then you need to direct and focus your attention on them, and be in the moment . It is important to be with the person and do your best to feel and understand what point they are trying to get across. Youll be amazed at how much your listening skills improve, especially if you practice doing this with every conversation for the next 30 days. People want to be heard, understood, and feel that they are not alone, and by participating in small talk this is what you can give to others.

After a few months of participating in small talk, youll notice that you have an ability to predict what others are about to say as well as read deep into a person to determine if there is something behind what they are saying. For instance, if you ask What do you think of this rainy weather? and they respond, I love it. But you feel, based on your thousands of small talk interactions that there is something else going on because you heard a slight jump in that persons tone of voice as they said the word love. In addition, you read and listen to what their eyes are telling you, and you feel there is something much deeper going on. From this point, depending on your how deep you feel like venturing, you can decide to get curious about what their comment is really about, or you can simply leave it as it is, smile, and walk away.