Wadsworth - How to Make Small Talk: Conversation Starters, Exercises, and Scenarios

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First Adams Media hardcover edition OCTOBER 2017

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Interior design by Colleen Cunningham

Cover design by Colleen Cunningham

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Wadsworth, Melissa, author.

How to make small talk / Melissa Wadsworth.

Avon, Massachusetts: Adams Media, 2017.

LCCN 2017020013 (print) | LCCN 2017021541 (ebook) | ISBN 9781507204993 (hc) | ISBN 9781507205006 (ebook)

LCSH: Conversation. | BISAC: SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Success. | SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / General.

LCC BJ2121 (ebook) | LCC BJ2121 .W23 2017 (print) | DDC 177/.2--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017020013

ISBN 978-1-5072-0499-3

ISBN 978-1-5072-0500-6 (ebook)

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Simon & Schuster, Inc., was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Contains material adapted from the following title published by Adams Media, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.: The Small Talk Handbook by Melissa Wadsworth, copyright 2012, ISBN 978-1-4405-5016-4.

ASK PEOPLE ABOUT their most embarrassing moment and youre likely to hear stories about how they made fools of themselves in front of people they wanted to impress! Why is that?

The truth is that when cool and sophisticated is the goal, we can often end up being comical and nerdy instead. Part of this is trying too hard and nerves getting the best of us. And being unprepared doesnt help anyone. But the biggest reason we feel so foolish is that we take it all too seriously. Theres a tendency to overdramatize the importance of interactions in unfamiliar social and business affairs in which we feel we come up short. Mistakes feel huge ! So huge that you have a hard time forgetting, even years later, that time you referred to the groom by his new wifes ex-boyfriends name during your congratulatory speech, or the time you asked the adorable guy you had just met what he did for a living and when he said garbage collector you laughed and told him to stop kidding youwhen he wasnt.

In the short term, keeping perspective can help manage your frustration level and limit the duration of self-berating. In the long term, having small talk social skills in your repertoire and some mingling mojo at your disposal will give you more communication confidence. It makes all the difference in both the actual handling of any given situation and in the way you feel about yourself.

Everyone longs to be at ease, at their best, in social situations. People naturally want to be viewed as confident and astute in business encounters. Even though some people seem born socially savvy, almost everyone gets nervous from time to time about being in unfamiliar social territory and about making the right impression. Preparedness goes a long way to even up the playing field. So does taking the attitude that social and business encounters are opportunities, a game you can have fun with once you know the rules.

In this book we review the basics of being prepared for new encounters whether they are of a romantic, friendship, or work nature. This includes setting the tone with a helpful attitude, being aware of the body language connection, knowing how to naturally engage others with conversational prompts, and being able to politely move the mingling along. How to Make Small Talk offers tips for listening, being open and friendly, and knowing when and how much to reveal about yourself. It also explores ideal interaction at work functions and how to get the most out of business relationships. This book was created to benefit women and men of all ages, who are single or partnered, for use in both work and personal environments. Special care has been given to address issues specific to the following groups or individuals:

Prospective daters of any age, who are new to, awkward in, or freshly back in the dating scene

Naturally shy and sensitive people who have trouble feeling at ease or authentic in many social situations

Social interaction fumblers searching for small talk dos and donts tips

Career strivers wanting to have greater impact in the business arena

Tongue-tied romantics who lose their speaking facility in the vicinity of their hearts target

Lackluster party mixers not getting the results theyd like from their current interactions

Networking novices wanting to gain tools for successfully obtaining and utilizing business contacts

Meek minglers ready for a more proactive participation in social encounters in order to gain greater satisfaction from social and business activities