Steven Hopkins - How to Talk to Anyone

Have you ever wondered how some people can talk to anyone naturally and effortlessly?

While you would love to go out and meet people, your poor social skill is stopping you from having the success youve ever wanted.

You want to build your social circle, create meaningful relationships and, maybe find the love of your life. You know that social skill is important for your success in life, but you are also terrified when you need to make small talk.

Maybe youve tried different methods of talking to people that have never helped. Perhaps you took an acting class, went to a speed dating session, or even talked to a professional about how to talk to other people. If after youve tried all this, and you still feel like you cant talk to people, maybe you would think, "So, theres no other way? Well, actually, there is. I am going to show you exactly how to master small talk in this book, but before that, let me tell you a little about myself.

I was once a person crippled with social anxiety, but now, Im happily married with two kids, and am a personal trainer, an entrepreneur, a life and motivation coach. What changed me? Well, one of the things that started my transformation was improving my small talk. Yes, sure, there were other factors that helped me, but these were linked to my self-confidence. My low self-confidence meant that I found it difficult to speak up and connect with others. Linda Vale, the woman who would eventually become my life coach, helped me to see that the separation of my parents, when I was six, had had a major impact on my life. I had fallen into a pattern of hiding myself away from others and as I grew into an adult my lifestyle choices meant that I wasnt in as great a shape as I could have been. I had become reliant upon frozen meals for dinner and got very little exercise. Certainly this was a reflection of how little I thought of myself.

My chance encounter with Linda, on the train home one night, made me look at my life in a different light. If you read my book: Self-Discipline to Exercise, then Im sure you know my story. For years, I tried different practices, bought into certain programs, and even took medication to improve my social anxiety. What I found works the most, however, is starting small. Ive accepted the fact that there is no small fix. Theres no pill thats going to make me the most intelligent person in the world that always has the best conversations, constantly making meaningful connections. I cant just turn a switch and change my personality.

I can, however, look inwards to determine what needs to be done to make me a more confident, happy, and healthy person. I understand now that talking to people is a practice, and some days are going to be harder than others. With the right methods, techniques, and practices, however, I know that I have the ability to talk to anyone. Its a freeing feeling and one thats like lifting a weight off my shoulders. Im going to share my secrets with you now so that you, too, can have the ability to talk to anyone.

It can be hard to grow yourself. You might have to confront certain issues or recognize unhealthy behavior in order to improve certain aspects of your life. Some days, I just wanted to give up and lie in bed instead of head to a meeting where I knew I would have to do a lot of talking.

There was a time in my life when I was looking for a job, and I had a couple of interviews coming up. I would get so nervous before the interaction that I would feel sick to my stomach. I canceled an interview with someone, expecting that I just wouldnt get that job. The fear of the interview felt awful, and the negative feelings didnt disappear once I canceled the interview. They just manifested in other ways.

The person I was supposed to have the interview with reached out to me and ended up giving me a second chance. I went to the interview and nailed it, landing the job. The fear the first time around was bad, but the feeling of getting the job was great. I realized at that moment that confronting my fears was hard, but it was so much harder to continually live in a state of fear. Instead of being scared all the time, I now am only scared in certain situations. And when that fear creeps up, I have the tools needed to silence all the negative thoughts that might make me want to run and hide.

The first and most important step on the road in learning to talk to anyone involves small talk. This is just the practice of general discussion with a person on the surface. Small talk can sometimes feel as though its unimportant, but in reality, it helps to create the stepping stones that will lead to a greater connection.