Widener - How to Talk to Anybody, Anytime, Anywhere: 3 Steps to Make Instant Connections

How to Talk to Anyone,
Anytime, Anywhere

3 Steps to Make Instant Connections

Chris Widener

Thank you for buying this eBook,
published by AudioInk Publishing

To learn more about AudioInk Publishing you can visit us at:

www.AudioInk.com

P.O. Box 1775

Issaquah, WA 98027

www.AudioInk.com

Copyright 2013

All rights reserved.

In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitutes unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at . Thank you for your support of the authors rights.

Distributed by AudioInk Publishing

Cover Design and eBook Conversion by AudioInk Publishing

For ordering information, please contact AudioInk +14255266480

Widener, Chris

How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

ISBN: 978-161-339-5042

1. BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Business Communication / General

2. BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Sales & Selling / General

3. LANGUAGE ARTS & DISCIPLINES / Communication Studies

For further information contact AudioInk +14255266480 or email

I am a New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-selling author of books like The Leadership Rules, The Art of Influence and The Angle Inside. I make a living as a professional speaker traveling around the world from Russia to Spain, Egypt, Singapore, China, Australia, Germany and almost every single state in the United States. The audiences I speak to can be as small as 100 and as large as 25,000. The fact is that speaking can be pretty lucrative. But the fact is also that learning how to speak can be pretty lucrative even if you arent a motivational speaker.

We all have to learn how to speak to other people, but one of the things I find is that most people dont like to talk, especially when it comes to public speaking. In fact, studies and research find that the number one fear people have is public speaking; number two is dying. So, do you know what that means? That means the next time you go to a funeral, most people would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy. Now thats the fear of public speaking, getting up in front of a group and speaking, but not too far behind that is the discomfort that people get when they are in a new situation, when they are talking to just one person, or a small group of people that they dont know.

The truth is you will make more money if you learn how to talk to people, build rapport with people, engage people, and attract people to you. This eBook will teach you the secrets that anybody can utilize in learning how to talk to anybody, anytime, anywhere. If you can learn how to do these things, you will grow your business, you will see your team explode, and you will have a better and happier work life. Because you are going to be able to engage with people, you are going to make more money and you will have better relationships. All of these things can come to you, if you simply learn how to talk to people.

In my book, The Art of Influence, I wrote about how to influence other people. In order to influence people, you have to engage people. I also wrote about how to gain trust, respect, admiration, and loyalty from other people. Wouldnt it be great if we had the trust of other people, the admiration of other people, the respect of other people, and if we had the loyalty of friends and customers? Starting at the very fundamental, basic premise, you have to begin with being able to talk to people. Most people are uncomfortable with this, but situations frequently arise when you have to talk to people you do not know. It might be at a cocktail party, a local chamber of commerce meeting, luncheon, or an after-hours event. Perhaps it might be at church or a wedding where you know the bride or the groom, but you do not know many other people. We are thrust into these social circumstances all the time, both for business and for pleasure. Many, many people have a real problem in these situations and it holds them back. Now, think about the losses you could suffer if you are unable to initiate a conversation. If you do not have the courage or ability to walk up and converse with someone, you may miss out on meeting a person who could become a significant friend in your life; or if you are single, a spouse in your life. If it is in a business situation, you might not be able to meet the person who could bring you a million dollar contract. There are many people that I do business with but before we did business together, we did not know each other. You have to be able to cross that bridge and bridge that gap, and converse with people. It is one of the simplest things, and yet it is one of the most difficult things.

I want to help you get past the discomfort of talking with some very simple and easy principals. We have to re-conceptualize this discomfort inside of our head because so often people have these fears where they think, what if I get rejected, what if I am not dazzling, what if I am really super UN-interesting? I am going to boil it down to the basics and help you rethink so that you can confidently walk into any social situation and be able to talk to anybody, anytime, anywhere. Now here is the caveat, there are going to be some people you will not be able to talk to. If somebody is just bent on not talking, if they are a jerk, if they are a curmudgeon, if they do not want to talk to you, then disregard those people. I am referring to the normal, regular people who themselves may not want to engage because they do not know how. If YOU struggle with it, chances are a lot of other people struggle with it as well.

I frequently fly on airplanes. You plop down in the seat, turn to the person next to you, look at them and think, I am locked here next to this person for the next 3 to 5 hours. If you are flying internationally, maybe it will be 11, 12, or 15 hours. The person next to you may be thinking the same thing, how am I going to talk to this person next to me? The first thing you need to understand is that most people in these situations are probably thinking the exact same way that you are. Not everybody is a gregarious extrovert who just looks for people to talk to. Most people are just like you and many, many others; they are wondering how to start a conversation with a stranger and how to not look like a moron by saying something stupid. These are universal principals, most people feel like that. So, the first thing you need to do is adjust your brain and realize you are not the only one, in fact the person you are thinking about talking to is probably thinking the same thing. For example, at a cocktail party you see somebody and maybe you are both in the same area of the room and you are thinking, how am I going to talk to this person, and the other person is sitting there thinking, if this person talks to me, how am I going to talk to them? Everybody is thinking this same thing, so recognize that right out of the shoot; understand that everybody is in the same boat.

Here are a couple of other thoughts before I give you a very specific technique to utilize. You do not have to be interesting. The most important thing is to be interested. It helps if you are interesting; in fact I always encourage people to be well-read. I read a ton of different magazine across a wide variety of topics because it helps me discuss with other people when I am in these situations. So, it is certainly beneficial to be interesting, but do not think you have to show up and dazzle everybody by being super interesting. Far more important than that, is to be