Rob Grader - Cheap BastardsTM Guide to Washington, D.C.: Secrets of Living the Good Life—For Free!

Rob Grader is a writer, producer, actor, and proud cheap bastard living outside Washington, D.C. He created the Cheap Bastards Guidebook series; his other writing credits include The Cheap Bastards Guide to New York City (Globe Pequot Press, 2008) and The Cuddle Sutra (Source Books, 2007). He has also written for Time Out New York, AM New York, and the Guardian . Rob received the Lowell Thomas Award for the Best Guidebook of the Year. He also created and produced the A&E reality series House of Dreams. A graduate of the American Repertory Theaters Institute at Harvard University, Grader has appeared at regional theaters around the country and on & Order, Law & Order: SVU, and The Job, and in the film American Splendor; www.thecheapbastard.com.

All the information in this guidebook is subject to change. We recommend that you call ahead to obtain current information before traveling.

Copyright 2010 by Rob Grader

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in writing from the publisher. Requests for permission should be made in writing to Globe Pequot Press, Attn: Rights and Permissions Department, P.O. Box 480, Guilford, Connecticut 06437.

The Cheap Bastards Guide is a registered trademark of Rob Grader.

GPP Travel is a registered trademark of Morris Book Publishing, LLC.

Text design by Sheryl P. Kober

ISBN: 978-0-7627-5336-9

Printed in the United States of America

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For Roscoe and Henry, the very proof that the best things in life are free.

This Cheap Bastard is rich in friends and family members who havent been stingy with their helpful advice, suggestions, and patience while I worked on this book. With empty pockets and a full heart, I want to acknowledge some of the people who have given me their 2 cents along the way. First and foremost, thanks to Karen and Roscoe for your endless patience and help. You can come down to the basement now. Thanks to my Mom and Dad, Bernice and Jack, for making me the Cheap Bastard that I am; to my in-laws Elaine Raksis and Maxine Ya Ya Klane, who are not Cheap Bastards, but I am working on them; and to the rest of my family who are always generous with their support: the GradersScott, Trish, Lulu, Stu, Ellen, Jessica, Michelle, Jeff, Lisa, Emily, Sally, and Jonas; and the RaksisesGary, Joe, and Marybeth Budd.

I owe a debt of gratitude to the many friends, associates, and others I met while researching this tome. In particular, thanks to Steve Harper for always being free to talk and Suzi Takahashi for free advice. Thanks to Amy Lyons at Globe Pequot Press and to the many people who have made so many useful suggestions: Paul Mermelstein; Jenny Kelty; Angela Kondo; Suzie, Bruce and Michael Shulman; Edith Khayke Hoffman; Scott Harrison; Sharon Harrison; Lorna V. Kivlehan; Donna M. Bohanon; Harrison M. Wadsworth IV; Senthil Sankaran; Mary Szegda; and Erin Dowdy. From the bottom of my empty piggy bank, I thank you all.

A Note about the Listings:

The listings in this book are spread throughout the Washington, D.C., region, including the nearby counties in Maryland and Virginia. For clarity, any listings located outside D.C. proper include the city and state and those within The District do not.

Land of the Free

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D.C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.

Thats impossible," said the tourist. No one could throw a coin that far!"

You have to remember," answered the guide. A dollar went a lot farther in those days."

Now I understand. Growing up in New York, I used to wonder why every year my parents packed my three brothers and me into the car for a trip to Washington, D.C. Were they incredibly patriotic and hoping to instill in us a love of country, a respect for its history, government, and diverse population? Was it to inspire us to stand for what we believe in as our founding fathers did, to fight for the freedom of all people as Abraham Lincoln did, to selflessly serve our country as the men and women buried at Arlington Cemetery did? Naaah, it was just the cheapest vacation they could find. Now that I have grown into a Cheap Bastard with a family of my own, I understand the appeal. And while a lot has changed since I was a kid, D.C. is still the place to be for freebies-a-plenty. Whether you live here or are visiting, the amount of free stuff available is simply astonishing.

On our family vacation, we toured the Capitol, sat in on the Supreme Court, visited the top of the Washington Monument and spent time in the Air and Space Museum. We watched money being made at the Bureau of Printing and Engraving, posed for pictures in front of the Iwo Jima Memorial, and watched the Changing of the Guard at Arlington National Cemetery. We thought we had exhausted all the free possibilities. And while the Smithsonian is fantastic, the monuments are evocative, and the government buildings are awe-inspiring, they are just the tip of the free iceberg.

The Cheap Bastards Guide is your handbook to everything free in D.C., from the well tread upon to the little known experiences, hidden perks, and secret strategies for living the good life for free. This book will take you to places you didnt know existed, and give you the chance to do things you didnt think you could afford to do. That is the mission of The Cheap Bastard, to offer you a chance at something more valuable than money: a memory, an experience, a story. And of course the chance to save a boatload of cash aint such a bad thing either.

Ever wanted to learn how to tango? Why not take lessons at the Argentinean Embassy? Need to stay at work till the wee hours? Forget about laying out $50 for a taxi. The Cheap Bastard can get you a free ride home. Youd love to spend the summer enjoying the concerts at Wolf Trap but just cant swing the ticket prices? No sweat. The Cheap Bastard can show you how to slip into every show of the season for free. And its all legal.

The listings in this book can be split into two categories: Free and Ridiculously Cheap, with the vast majority of the listings being free. Free doesnt mean Buy One, Get One Free, First Month Free, Mention the Cheap Bastard and get in for half-price, or any other scheme that is ultimately about getting cash out of your wallet.

What kinds of free listings will you find in this book? Free-free and Free-with-a-catch. Want to learn a foreign language? Check out the Global Language Network at George Washington University for free classes in everything from Arabic to Urdu, no strings attached. Free with a catch generally means you will need to spend some time or effort to get that something for free. For example, you can see a show at almost any theater in the D.C. area for free by being a volunteer usher. Show up an hour early, help seat the paying customers, and watch the show for nothing. I have tried to clearly explain any catch you may need to know about, by including the category The Catch wherever necessary.

Ridiculously Cheap listings are those for which, yes, you will have to lay out some money. Still, the cost is so minimal that when youre asked to pay, you do it quickly for fear that its a mistake.