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Donna Andersen - Understanding the Sociopath: Why antisocials, narcissists and psychopaths break the rules of life

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Understanding the Sociopath: Why antisocials, narcissists and psychopaths break the rules of life
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Donna Andersen
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Anderly Corp
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2019
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Understanding the Sociopath explains, in plain language, the 12% of the population who do not play by the same rules of life as the rest of us. These master manipulators, who have antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders, seem normal at first, but their objective is to use and exploit us.
You may already be dealing with one of the 30 million adults in the United States who could be diagnosed with these serious personality disorders. If so, Understanding the Sociopath explains why they do what they do, why they will never change, and why you need to get them out of your life.
This book is a curated collection of blog articles from Lovefraud.com, the premier Internet website on how to recognize and recover from sociopaths. The content is presented in easy-to-read, bite-sized pieces; you wont be overwhelmed by technical jargon. Articles include:
10 translations of I love you when spoken by a sociopath
Sociopaths and double lives
The truth about sex with sociopaths
Why psychopaths dont change
Letters to Lovefraud: I am a sociopath
10 things sociopaths want (besides money)
Will the sociopath treat the next wife better?
The sociopathic MO in three easy steps
Why do psychopaths want to mess with your head?
Do sociopaths know what they are?
Understanding the Sociopath includes dozens of stories and questions submitted by Lovefraud readers, with analysis and answers by Donna Andersen. Youll see how sociopaths operate in real life, so if someone you know engages in destructive behavior, youll be able to spot the warning signs.
Sociopaths exist, and they arent all serial killers. Understanding the Sociopath demystifies their behavior, so you can recognize them and protect yourself.

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Contents

Understanding Sociopaths

Why antisocials, narcissists and psychopaths break the rules of life

By Donna Andersen

Published by Anderly Publishing

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Lovefraud.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019948924

ISBN: 978-1-951347-00-0

Contents

The truth about sex with sociopaths

V ery erotic! Thats how a woman, whom well call Cathy, described the beginning of her relationship with Matt. Sex, sex, sex, she said, and sweet whisperings in my ears.

After a whirlwind romance, they married. Cathy eventually discovered that sex was all Matt really wanted. She found a duffel bag filled with hard-core porn. His sexual demands made her uncomfortable. He cheated. Yet whenever Matt did or said anything hurtful, he soon acted as if nothing had happened.

Matt turned out to be callous, deceitful, manipulative, narcissistic, hostile, irresponsible, reckless and impulsive. In other words, he was a sociopath.

Many people think that sociopaths are all deranged serial killers. In reality, most sociopaths never kill anyone. They are, however, serial exploiters, always on the lookout for someone to use often for sex.

But you would never know this when you first meet a sociopath. In the beginning, sociopaths seem to be charismatic, charming, exciting and incredibly sexy.

Rating sex with sociopaths

People who have had sex with individuals that they now believe are sociopaths almost always rave about it. Ive spoken to hundreds of people about their experiences. They often tell me that the sex with these individuals was the best they ever had.

For my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs youre dating a sociopath, I conducted a survey of more than 1,300 Lovefraud readers. One question was, If you had sex with the individual, how would you rate it? Here are the responses:

Extraordinary 30%
Satisfying 15%
Dissatisfying 6%
At first satisfying, later dissatisfying 30%
He/she was satisfied; I was not 12%
Abusive 4%
Not applicable 3%

In all, 75% of survey respondents rated the sex as satisfying or more than satisfying, at least in the beginning of the relationship.

Why sociopaths are hot in bed

Sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have a lot of energy. They crave excitement and stimulation its an integral part of the disorder. Sex, of course, is one of the most stimulating activities a human being can enjoy. Sociopaths want it. They want it early and often. So they start young and engage frequently.

All sociopaths, both male and female, have high levels of testosterone. This hormone drives people to compete for sex partners and then mate with them. In sociopaths, high testosterone means high pursuit.

Besides craving excitement, sociopaths are also born without fear or shame. Consequently, they fail to develop guilt, inhibitions, a conscience or a sense of morality. Social proscriptions against particular acts mean nothing to them. They dont care about the discomfort of their partners either.

So what does all this mean for sociopaths and sex? They have voracious appetites, they indulge often and anything goes.

No feelings of love

You might think that sex with a sociopath sounds exciting. But there are a few more things you should know.

First of all, if you want love along with your sex, youre not going to get it from a sociopath. These people cannot form empathetic connections with other human beings, and therefore are incapable of feeling love. However, they know that if they speak words of love convincingly, they get what they want. So sociopaths often proclaim love quite eloquently at least until theyre bored with you.

Second, if you want to keep the wild sex all for yourself, thats not going to happen either. Most sociopaths cheat. In the Lovefraud survey, 75% of respondents said the sociopaths cheated on them, and 20% said they became infected with a sexually transmitted disease.

Finally, sociopaths are not slaves to their testosterone-fueled desires. They are quite capable of controlling, even withholding, sex, when it suits their purpose. For these people, sex usually has an agenda. Sometimes its just the physical release. But often sex is a tool to snare you, so that they can exploit you in some other way.

Sociopaths have incredible sexual magnetism. But if you hook up with them, the excitement will, sooner or later, lead to real problems in your life out of bed.

Sociopathic deception:
A plan or second nature?

L ovefraud received the following important question from a reader:

When a sociopath targets his victim, does he think and create a plan as to HOW he is going to manipulate his prey to glean what he wants, or is this just second nature to him? How can he spend MONTHS being such a kind, considerate person, going out of his way to do the little things that matter in life, before turning into the evil monster?

When you have been deceived and manipulated by a sociopath, the most difficult idea to grasp is how totally different people with this personality disorder are from the rest of us. Their behavior is different from everything we thought we knew about human interaction.

Sociopaths both male and female seem to be missing the parts that make the human race human. There is no deep warmth. There is no true caring. There is only fake warmth and fake caring, which disappear immediately once sociopaths decide they have no further use for us.

How do they become like this? According to Dr. Liane Leedom, its their different motivation.

Power motivation vs. love motivation

Normal people, who do not have a personality disorder, are motivated by both love and power.

We feel emotional love for family, friends, neighbors, and even animals or causes, that are important to us. We care about everything we love, which makes us take action to please, support and protect them.

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